


Faking it - How long can you keep up a lie?

by lalinearoja



Series: love me despite everything [1]
Category: Vis a Vis | Locked In (Spain TV)
Genre: Dancing, Denial of Feelings, F/F, Fake Dating, Online Dating, Sexual Tension, Tinder, Weddings, broken pasts, filth in every way possible, jealous!zulema, maca as a drama teacher hello, maca giving zule acting classes, scorpions and squirrels, secrets and lies, slowburnish, threesome?, top!maca
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:09:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 74,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26444674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalinearoja/pseuds/lalinearoja
Summary: Macarena is a drama teacher, Zulema an ex con. If it wasn’t for their best friends, their paths would never have crossed. But it seems like Zulema came into Macarena’s life just in time to help her escape the past. Will her help be enough to run from the demons that are haunting Macarena?
Relationships: Macarena Ferreiro/Zulema Zahir
Series: love me despite everything [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2173533
Comments: 349
Kudos: 660





	1. it’s a match!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dearests!
> 
> I read an au idea on twitter one day, and then this baby started to come to life. Thank you Anna for developing this plot with me, and you my dear readers are in for a ride. Fasten your seatbelts.

_Two roads diverged in a wood_

_I took the one less travelled by_

_and that has made all the difference_

* * *

  
  


''Rizos no, I am doing perfectly fine by myself. I am in no need of a relationship. Especially not one that is the result of two strangers judging the other by their look and deciding whether or not they are the right one.'' Macarena complained while attempting to take her phone from her friend who held it out of reach and arched an eyebrow.

''Says the woman who called me three times this week, drunk, _wasted_ even, and complained about everyone fucking her over and never loving her enough?'' Rizos fired back, making Macarena frown and finally raise her arms in surrender. 

''Yeah... I just don't like the idea of Tinder okay? The men on this app are horrible. They're just... sex driven animals. Tinder is good for a hookup but not for finding actual love.'' The blonde sat down on the sofa, resting her chin on her knuckles with a sigh. ''You know, maybe I've already had my chance.” The blonde started, but Rizos was fast to interrupt her. 

''Macarena shut up. Yes, you and Armando had your problems as every couple does. They fight and sometimes decide that there is nothing left to fight for. You're young, Maca. I know you want to have a family as soon as possible and thought you had found that in him. But Armando wasn't the one.'' After a moment of silence Rizos sat down next to Maca, a gentle hand coming to rest on the woman's knee. ''Just give it a try, you have nothing to lose. If whoever you're going out with doesn't turn out to be Prince Charming you'll at least get a good fuck.'' 

Macarena playfully hit her friend's shoulder and laughed. ''Oh shut up! It's not like the sex we have isn't good, it is great actually but...'' She hesitated. The words sounded a bit harsh in her head, but they were the truth and needed to be said. She placed her own hand on top of Rizos' and gave it a soft squeeze as she continued. ''I wanna settle down, get married and have kids. And I don't see myself getting married to a woman.'' 

Rizos gave the blonde a gentle smile before leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek and nodded her head. ''I know, _rubia_. I'll just pretend I didn't hear the last part.'' 

They both knew that whatever it was they had would have to stop eventually, but neither of them expected it to be at that exact moment. Macarena was thinking of just that when Rizos ripped her out of her thoughts again.

''But until you're actually dating someone... we can still hook up drunk right?'' She grinned and Macarena couldn't help but chuckle and get off the couch. 

''You're unbelievable!'' The blonde called on her way to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water.

''That wasn't a no!''

* * *

'' _Qué_?!'' 

''Chill Zule. Don't get mad at me but you're getting on my nerves with your passive aggressiveness. I know you would never dare to say this out loud but Zulema... getting into fist fights with people's boyfriends won't help you with your loneliness. You can't go on bringing people apart for the rest of your life, it won't heal your heart.''

Zulema stared at her best friend as if she had an alien talking to her. She loved Saray deeply, but she wouldn't listen to her explaining how love and repression works. In her whole 40 years of living, Zulema had dated exactly two people. Hanbal and Helena. Both relationships had been doomed to fail. And she had a bad feeling that every attempt to get close to someone would bring her nothing but failure once again. She had gotten the love of her life killed. For her own freedom. And the second time she had allowed herself to develop feelings for someone, she had been failed. Helena had promised her that once Zulema got out of prison, she would be the one waiting for her and Zulema had been stupid enough to believe her bullshit for a second. Four years have passed ever since.

''I am not in need of love nor am I lonely Saray. I don't know what kind of relationship problems you and Maria have, but I can't help you with it and you won't help yourself by analyzing me and my hook ups. Stop this madness and delete whatever you have created there. Now.''

But Saray didn't buy it. She looked down at Zulema's phone in her hand, continued to slide through the scorpion's selfies and tilted her head to the side when she found a suitable picture. 

'' _Oye_ Zule! This is _hot tía_! You could get anyone with this.'' Saray excitedly announced while sitting down onto the floor, phone in both her hands, examining the image. 

''I could get anyone without this stupid app.'' Zulema mumbled to herself but took a seat next to her chosen sister with a huff. ''I am only going to do this so you shut the fuck up, once I've had a 'date' and screwed whoever 'matches' with me I'm gonna delete this shit. It only takes up my storage.''

''Make fun of them, fall in love with them, screw them for all I care. Just do this once. It's fun, trust me. Me and Rizos met here!'' Saray chuckled, shaking her head to herself and started setting up Zulema's Tinder profile.

''Yeah and we all know how that ended...'' Zulema muttered.

* * *

''No! Not this one. I look terrible!'' Macarena called out and was ready to take her phone from her friend's hands but Rizos was faster than her and grabbed her arm before turning her head to look at the blonde.

''Chill Maca, I wasn't planning on using a picture of you with a bottle of Tequila in your hands and your panties showing from how much that dress has slipped up your ass... although it's sexy. Besides, you couldn't even look bad if you tried. Especially not when you're dancing like you were.'' Rizos mumbled, continuing to look through Macarena's gallery until she found enough pictures to create a decent profile. ''Alright, all of the pictures I think are suitable are in your 'favorites' folder. Pick nine and then we'll download the app!''

Macarena took the phone from the other woman and shook her head at the folder's overview. ''Rizos that's basically my whole gallery!''

''Well, what can I say... you're hot! Whoever is going to have a date with you should consider himself quite lucky.''

Macarena's features softened at that and she gave Rizos a grateful smile before picking her nine favorite pictures that wouldn't reveal too much but enough to awaken someone's interest in her. ''Okay what now?''

Rizos grabbed the phone again and started setting up the blonde's profile. ''Okay let's see... name, Macarena. Date of birth, 13th of April, sexuality?'' She gave Macarena a glance and grinned. ''Definetly heterosexual, let's see, what else...'' Macarena just sat there laughing.

''Definitely heterosexual... I don't even know what to label myself as. I sure do enjoy the sex with women but living with one, getting married, having children... I don't know'' Macarena explained but only got an eyeroll in response.

''You're repeating yourself, _rubia_. I didn't click on 'heterosexual', I put bisexual. But you can also change it to 'queer' or 'questioning'... although if you decide to go for the latter you might end up with a guy who wants nothing more than a threesome with another woman.'' Rizos pointed out and shrugged her shoulders.

'' _Vale_... I guess bisexual then?''

''If that’s what you want?”

Macarena tugged her bottom lip between her teeth, chewing in thought for a moment. 

“Actually, Rizos… can you put it back to heterosexual? I think it’s better that way…”

Rizos arched an eyebrow. She wasn’t entirely convinced by the blonde’s words, so even if she nodded her head, the label ‘bisexual’ was still clearly visible on her profile. But she would deal with that later. 

“Now the last step is to add your pictures. Let me see which ones you chose.'' With that, the brunette looked at the pics left and snickered before pressing the upload button. Macarena's profile was complete.''So not a single bikini picture... you're really trying to seem mysterious huh?''

Macarena shrugged her shoulders, a smirk appearing on her lips. ''No one has to know I'm a filthy beast, _no_?'' 

Rizos grinned right back at the blonde . ''That you are.''

* * *

'' _A ver_ ... Name, Zulema. Or should I put _'Elfo del puto infierno_ '?'' Saray grinned, having Zulema make an evil grimace and a sound that sounded like it was supposed to be an imitation of an elf in hell. '' _Vale_ , Zulema it is. Age, 39, Sexuality... Have you ever labeled yourself?'' The raven haired woman turned her head towards the scorpion with a questioning look. She knew that Zulema had hooked up with women every now and then, she also knew about Hanbal. But the two of them had never talked about Zulema's sexuality, not even when Saray came out to her back in prison days. 

Zulema shrugged her shoulders. ''I never really thought about it. I don't care about people's gender. If someone is attractive then they're attractive. Fuck society's labels.''

Saray nodded her head, paying her attention back to the phone. ''Queer it is then. Okay, now we only have to upload a few pictures and then you can start swiping.'' She scrolled through Zulema's gallery, picking a total of nine pics and smiled to herself in satisfaction. ''What do you think?''

''I think that one picture is enough, _gitana._ I might have started a new life without any cops chasing me yet and I have two different jobs at the moment but once I go back to business I really don't want the cops to find a thousand pictures of what I currently look like or my choice of clothes. Use the one of me standing in front of the stone wall... with the white and red socks and the black boots-'' 

''Ya ya ya, I know which one you mean! But I'll also upload my personal favorite.'' Saray stated, Zulema looked over her shoulder and snickered quietly. The chosen masterpiece was nothing less than an image of Zulema laying on a bed full of guns. ''Sure, go ahead and use this one if you want everyone to be scared off and call the police on me.''

''Zule, zule, zule... sometimes I feel like the worms in prison ate half your brain. Of course the innocent little prudes won't swipe right when they see you, but people like a little danger. The interesting people are gonna start drooling. You're gonna get some great sex _tía_!'' 

''We didn't have worms in our cells. Just scorpions. Remove this one. I don't want to get in trouble yet.'' Zulema smirked, grabbing her beer from the table next to them and raised the bottle. ''Cheers to the great sex.''

Around five in the afternoon, an hour after Saray had gone back home to her fiance and her daughter, Zulema was laying on her bed, phone in hand and swiping left and right. Well, just left. Majority of the strangers offering themselves to the world of online dating weren't quite her cup of tea. And whenever someone attractive showed up, they had some weird ass information written in their bio. Or sentences like 'I don't text first'. She huffed, shaking her head in disbelief. When the fuck had she gotten so weak that Saray could convince her to go on a _date_ with a person she met on a _dating app?!_

Zulema rolled her eyes at the image of a couple on her phone, searching for a woman to 'make her boyfriend's fantasy come true' and that was the point she made the decision to delete this fucking app again. Fuck this. If she needed sex she could easily go to the next bar and hook up with one of the many people that would hit on her. She didn't do dates anyways. 

Zulema closed the app and was ready to delete it when she received a text message from Saray.

\- _How's it going? Any matches yet?_

_\- Not going at all. No matches. The people on this app are crazy._

_\- Joder Zule. Are you scared of strangers on the internet? The Zulema I know isn't scared of anyone. Let alone a Tinder date._

_\- This is not about being scared, this is about the internet being full of idiots._

_\- When was the last time you took a risk? What have you got to lose?_

_\- My dignity._

_\- Oh don't give me this dignity bullshit._ _Come on Zule. Just one date. Swipe right at the next person that shows up and meet up with them tonight. If it's a total disaster you can delete the app and I will never bring it up again, vale?_

\- _Fine._

Zulema groaned. What had she gotten herself into? 

She opened the dating application again, waited for the chosen stranger's picture to load and within the next second, green eyes were glued to the display. 

'' _Joder_...'' Zulema mumbled when she swiped right and proceeded to click on the woman's profile. She was greeted by nine pictures, one more flawless than the other. The blonde stranger was gorgeous, no question. But Zulema didn't trust her appearance. There were three pictures of 'Macarena' on stage, maybe she was an actress? Or a dancer? But if she was an actress, Zulema had to be even more careful around her. Maybe she was good at lying and would get her into trouble. She looked too innocent. And still waters run deep.

* * *

Rizos had left Macarena's apartment about two hours ago, the blonde had kept herself busy with making herself lunch, watching one episode of her favorite tv show and working eventually. She was in charge of a new play that would have its premiere in two weeks but neither the dancers nor the actors were perfect yet and it was driving her crazy. She was raised to be a perfectionist, dancing classes three times a week, acting classes five times a week and on top of that vocal coaching and normal school work. Macarena had been at her limits countless times, but that was what had made her the successful woman she was now. And she expected nothing less from her students. 

Macarena was going through the last minute of her choreography for the final dance of the play when the buzzing of her phone started to get on her nerves. The minute Rizos had finished the Tinder profile - ' _Make sure you get Tinder+ so you can see who liked you!'-_ Macarena's phone started buzzing at least once every few minutes. And now was the point where she would switch it off to focus on the last piece of work for the night. The blonde was already pressing the power button of her phone when she received yet another notification. _'Zulema liked you!'_

Zulema? Wasn't that a female name? Hadn't she told Rizos to change her settings so she would only see men? 

Instead of turning off her phone, Macarena closed her laptop, pressed the home button of her phone and walked to her bedroom where she sat down on the edge of the bed and opened the dating app. She went to the page that showed her who had liked her and frowned. Around twenty men and around the same amount of women. 

''Thank you Rizos.'' The blonde mumbled to herself and scrolled through the people of interest. Two men caught her attention. Carlos, 36, Engineer. He seemed tall, tanned and muscular. The two of them together would make quite the sight. And the other one, Julio, 33, Actor. He was the complete opposite of Carlos but nonetheless really handsome. She liked both of them back, receiving the notifications of her matches and immediately got two text messages from both of them. Macarena chatted with them for a while, but except for a few compliments on 'how hot' she was and a ' _the way I could do you so good babygirl_ ' nothing came around, so she locked her phone and tossed it to the side. She had known this app was a bad idea to find love. All men were the same. Especially the ones on Tinder. Macarena huffed. _Men._

Then another notification lit up her phone.

' _Zulema is waiting for you. Like her back!'_

''This fucking app, I swear to god.'' Macarena unlocked her phone again by clicking on the notification and for a brief moment, her breath got caught in her throat at the sight that met her. A woman, 39 years old, raven black hair caught her eye. For a moment, Macarena forgot the fact that she had planned on meeting men only. Because _damn_ this woman was attractive. But she looked like danger. She had only uploaded two pictures, and the second one made her insides _scream_ to stay away from the spanish Cleopatra. She was laying on a bed, surrounded by _guns._

Macarena had second thoughts. On the one hand, she was looking for love. Someone who would fill the gap in her life with affection and contentment, 'Zulema' looked far away from being anything like that. On the other hand, adrenaline rushed through her body just at the sight of said woman. She meant danger for sure, but judging by that... she must be incredible in bed, right? Wasn't that what Rizos had told her to go for? _' If whoever you're going out with doesn't turn out to be Prince Charming you'll at least get a good fuck_ ' had been her words exactly. And what was so wrong about a meaningless one night stand? 

The blonde furrowed her brows, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried making a decision. Left or right? Play it safe, or go for the danger? Calmness or adrenaline? Her body made the decision for her restless brain. Before she knew, Macarena had a match. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> are they gonna get along?   
> find out next sunday!


	2. el infierno

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back! 
> 
> a thing i would like to add if you’re continuing reading the story, is that along the way you might find similarities between @buenaspalabras’ fanfic “I see red” and mine. However, these are two different stories. We brainstormed together and ended up using a similar idea for two completely different stories :)
> 
> For this week’s chapter I HIGHLY recommend to listen to this song I’m giving you the link for. You’ll enjoy it, trust me. 
> 
> https://youtu.be/nfQEVrwJ-U0

Drops of water were dripping down blonde, wet hair when Macarena's phone lit up with yet another notification. She dried the strands with the towel in both her hands, checking who had messaged her.

Zulema.

Macarena bit her bottom lip, she had no idea what to expect from this woman at all. The raven haired beauty gave her a bad gut feeling and it usually didn't fail her. She had learned to trust her instincts. Something bad was about to happen, she didn't know what it was or when it would occur but it definitely came along with Zulema. 

Lost in her own thoughts about her sixth sense, the blonde hung her towel over the shower cabin and walked towards the bed with her phone in both hands before opening the woman’s message. 

\-  _ Oye rubi _

_ Rubi _ ? Really? Another person calling her by the color of her hair? Macarena sighed and ran her hand over her face with annoyance. This would be great. But she had to give it a chance, right? Maybe she could lead this conversation into the right direction. So she replied.

\-  _ Hello! :) _

The response was immediate.

\-  _ Plans for tonight yet? _

Macarena almost choked on the water she was drinking, quickly putting the glass back onto the nightstand next to her bed where it belonged. What the fuck? Who asks someone out on a date within the first minute of texting? She had known this woman was weird the  _ second  _ she first saw her profile. 

\-  _ No, not yet. But if you're implying that we should meet up, don't you think we should get to know each other first? At least a little better? _

\-  _ I think that's what dates are for, no?  _

She had a point. And if they stayed somewhere close to Macarena's place she would know the environment and could leave at any given moment if she had to. Maybe she was just overthinking again, maybe it would just be a nice date for once. 

\-  _ Fair enough. What are you suggesting? _

_ \- A pub. 'El infierno'. Meet me there at 8. _

And with that, the green symbol signaling Zulema was online went off and the conversation was over. She really wanted them to meet up in a place that's called  _ El infierno? _

Macarena had never heard of that pub. She got up from her bed and went to the kitchen where she had left her laptop to look it up. Apparently it wasn't far away from where she lived, just a twenty minute car ride. But the pictures she was greeted with were... quite something. The whole place was covered in intense, red lightning. The walls in the back where people would sit were decorated with chains of lights and made the room seem like a bloody night sky. Even the LED lights under the stairs were red, the only contrast to the intense color, was the yellow behind the bar. It was the perfect mix of impressions to make it look like the whole place was burning. As if one visited hell.  _ El infierno.  _

Macarena pulled her bottom lip between her teeth slowly, her insides were screaming again.  _ This woman is dangerous, don't trust her. _ But the other part of her, the wild Macarena that was seeking for adrenaline and adventure was completely mesmerized.  _ Come on Maca, when was the last time you truly let yourself go and allowed yourself to have fun? Give it a chance.  _

She was overthinking again. Maybe her body was in need of a good drink after all, it would shut up the voices in her head for at least a couple of hours. The blonde closed her laptop and removed the towel from around her body. Time to get ready then. She had two and a half hours. In situations like this she thanked her lucky stars that she looked good with only a very small amount of makeup. Mascara and some chapstick would do. The only thing she had to take care of were her hair and then pick out an outfit that doesn't scream  _ 'Hi I am Macarena Ferreiro, drama teacher that can do pretty much everything. Oh, also I'm a prude.'  _ She was far from that. But she also didn't like the idea of revealing too much right away. 

* * *

Zulema was standing in front of her closet to grab some fresh clothes when she eventually decided to just keep on what she was currently wearing. Black cargo pants and her transparent Bershka shirt with the fire yin and yang sample on it, she looked good already, why bother and change clothes? She looked into the mirror, shrugged her shoulders at her reflection and went to the living room where she connected her phone to the speaker. The sound of violins and a piano filled the room while she rolled a cigarette and leaned back, mentally preparing to meet this weird blonde beauty.

* * *

Two hours later Macarena was sitting on her couch, impatiently waiting for time to pass faster. She was nervous to meet Zulema. Her palms were sweating and her heart beating faster than usual. She hated dates. This whole process of getting to know someone, the insecurities that came along with it and all the stress of having to look flawless at any given minute. Life is easier when you're single or in a long term relationship, your partner knows you and your flaws, there is no need to justify or explain yourself. 

Macarena sighed and got up, looking at herself in the mirror one last time. She looked alluring. Her body was dressed in shiny, dark blue pants, a white stripe running from the side of her hip down to her ankle. Her white shirt was tucked loosely into them and covered by the red jacket that was folded up to her elbows and only reached her upper waist. Macarena wore her blonde hair down straight and red heels finished up the look. Yeah, she was quite the sight. 

On her way out of the door, Macarena applied some chapstick onto her lips before walking outside, the cab already waiting for her. 

After twenty five minutes they reached the place, Macarena paid and stepped out of the vehicle. She was five minutes early. Should she wait outside? Get in already? How did this whole dating thing work again? It was getting colder now that the sun had started to set and Macarena just hoped Zulema was someone who arrived on time. She wrapped her jacket closer around her body and looked around the streets but the dark haired woman was nowhere to be seen. After fifteen minutes of waiting, Zulema already being ten minutes late, Macarena made the decision to get inside. The warmth surrounded her immediately, the smell of alcohol and perfume lingering in the air. This place looked exactly like the pictures had shown, the only difference was that the whole atmosphere robbed her senses right away. Even the music that was playing had its own, very seductive vibe. It almost felt like entering a different world, but the knot in her stomach told her that this was not a world she was supposed to be in. It was tempting, but dangerous. 

Another five minutes passed while Macarena was looking around the pub, Zulema was now fifteen minutes late. She checked her phone to check if she had maybe sent her a message, but she didn't have any new notifications. What if Zulema wouldn't show up at all? Judging by the conversation they had, it wouldn't even surprise her if she stood her up. 

After another five minutes and a waiter asking if she wanted to order yet or wait for her company later, Macarena left the table she had been sitting at. Fuck this woman. She would go to the bathroom to freshen up a little and then call Rizos, maybe she was down for a few drinks at their favorite club.

_ You're so cruel, but revenge is a dish best served cold. _

The familiar melody was echoing through the pub, but it took her a second to realize that the song was slowed down. Of course it was. As if it wasn't hot enough already, they were playing slowed down music now. She pushed the door to the bathroom open and, instead of silence meeting her, the music was just the same volume in the bathroom as it was in the whole pub. If Macarena was honest, the only reason she could even tell this was a restroom was because of the sinks who laid below the mirror. There wasn't even decent lightning, the only source of it being a flickering red lamp that would illuminate the room barely enough to focus, like the whole atmosphere was made with the intention of setting a mood. But instead of passion, the only red that Macarena could see was the one of anger towards the raven-haired woman who stood her up.

_ A gun to your head, head, to your head.  _

She looked in the mirror, fixing the slightly smudged Mascara beneath her eyes and applying some more chapstick onto her lips, right before opening the water tap to wash her hands.

_ Run... hide...Oh you're so... done...I better sleep with one eye open tonight. _

Macarena was so lost in her own thoughts about Zulema having the audacity to leave her hanging that she almost had a heart attack when she looked up into the mirror, meeting the sight of the dimly-lit brunette figure right behind her. Before she could process what was happening, strong arms wrapped around her waist to prevent her from falling after she stumbled backwards from the initial shock, making her miss her steps which, with heels, can be fatal. Piercing green eyes met her own in the mirror after Macarena straightened up, with the help of warm hands on her lower back.

_ ''Hola, rubia.'' _ A deep voice met her ear and for a split second, the blonde's eyes fluttered shut at the feeling of hot breath tickling her skin along with a deep husky voice and the warmth of the woman’s grip. However, she composed herself in a flash, removing the hands from her body to turn around and meet the woman she had been waiting for, finally coming to her senses and, well, coming back to her initial frustration which led her to this very bathroom.

''You're twenty minutes late.'' Macarena replied, flinching an eyebrow. 

''Twenty-five to be exact. Sorry, I got held up.'' Zulema replied with a little grin that didn’t quite reach her eyes, ones which tried to decipher the blonde's features in the dark room. 

Macarena rolled her eyes.  _ Yeah, you definitely look like someone that gets 'held up'.  _ She thought to herself, but the words leaving her mouth were different. '' _ Claro... _ held up with what? It's not nice to leave your date waiting, no? _ ''  _

Zulema squinted her eyes at that, staying silent for a moment, observing the blonde’s face which gave her no further information other than frustration. The brunette sighed and took a small step forward.

''Blondie, let me tell you something.'' The woman said, leaning closer to Macarena, eyes piercing into light green ones as she stretched both arms to rest on the sink behind the other woman, trapping the blonde in place. Maca took a step backwards, nervously trying to increase the distance between them, but met with her back hitting the sink signaling her there was nowhere to go. ''If you're looking for 'nice', I'm not the right person for this. I don't do  _ nice _ .'' 

Zulema knew she had told Saray she would go on a 'date' with someone, but they had never said anything about manners or rules. She would do this her way.

The next seconds felt like minutes, at least for Macarena who was fighting an inner battle with herself. It was time to make a decision. Let go of Zulema... or let go of herself and remain in that night forever. Her gaze flickered for a small fraction of a second downwards, looking at the other woman’s lips plastering a smirk. She looked up again quickly.

But before she could make her decision, their staring battle was interrupted by a stranger opening the door to the bathroom. Both women immediately stepped away from each other like children that just got caught red handed and Macarena left the bathroom while Zulema followed after.

''How did you know I was in the bathroom anyways?'' She started the conversation to get rid of the electric feeling Zulema's hands had left on her, diverting the attention somewhere else. 

That one just snorted. ''Can I not use the restroom? Who said I was looking for you?''

Macarena looked at the woman next to her as they walked down the stairs again, her face saying  _ 'Seriously? This attitude again?' _

''Don't look at me like that,  _ rubita _ . I thought you were here. When I asked the bartender he said you were sitting at a table in the back so I figured you'd still be there while I took a quick trip to the restroom.''

Macarena remained silent besides a small snort at the answer Zulema provided, and soon she realized they had already reached their table, both now sitting on opposite sides as they were immediately greeted with two shots.

Zulema grinned at the waitress in a silent 'thank you' before sliding one of them over to Macarena. 

''Cheers!'' The brunette raised her glass, waiting for the blonde to do the same and together, they downed the liquid.

_ Well, I guess I’m staying,  _ Macarena stated to herself as the hard alcohol went down her throat.

''So,  _ Macarena _ , tell me something about yourself. What do you do for a living?'' 

The way that her name fell off the raven-haired woman's lips sent chills down Macarena's spine. But she didn't let her know. Instead, she rested her arms on her elbows, folded her hands and gave the other woman a simple smile. ''Well, based on the pictures you saw on my profile... what do you think?''

Zulema squinted her eyes and tilted her head to the side. ''Judging from the images of you on stage I assume you're either an actress or a dancer,  _ no _ ?''

''Actually I'm neither. Or well, both. I'm a drama teacher.'' 

'' _ No me jodas!''  _ Zulema said in a small chuckle.

''No, I'm serious. My parents wanted me to become a dancer, I wanted to be an actress. So we made a compromise. I learned both and now here I am, teaching other people what I can do best. I still go on stage every now and then but right now I am in charge of a play so I only have the time to be present on stage once.'' 

''And what kind of play is it?'' Zulema wasn't really interested in the details of the play but she did want to know what that tiny blonde spent her time with. 

''Well... I can't tell you too much but it's for adults only. I work with women between the age of 21 and 30. I made the two main choreographies and will be singing the song for the final dance...'' Macarena paused for a second when she saw Zulema's face, clearly unimpressed and unbothered. ''Are you even interested in theater?''

''Nope, not at all. Just thought this was one of the things people ask on dates.''

''Ah...'' Macarena shifted in her seat and looked around the room, an uncomfortable silence settling between the two women. Uncomfortable for her at least. Zulema stared at the blonde in front of her and started grinning when she noticed the woman's discomfort, not bothering to break the silence.  _ Great. _

''So... uh I see you're wearing that shirt from the picture on your profile?'' Macarena eventually asked as the two women were greeted with another round of shots, ones that they didn’t ask for. Well, at least not Macarena. After Zulema immediately downed hers and left Maca with a dumbfounded expression on her face, she answered.

''No... this is a different shirt. I'm wearing a hoodie on the pic on my profile rubia. Oh, sorry. Forgot to clink our glasses together, where are my manners.'' Zulema raised her empty shot glass again and clinked it against Macarena's who was still just staring at the woman in front of her in pure confusion. ''You know you can drink this, right? It's not poisoned.'' 

''Isn't that what people who are trying to poison you usually say?'' Macarena said in a serious tone before tilting her head back and drinking the alcohol nonetheless. Zulema just snickered before the blonde continued. ''But no, I wasn't talking about your profile picture. I mean the other one. The one where you're laying on the bed surrounded by these toy guns.''

_ Toy guns she said.  _

Zulema arched an eyebrow. How the fuck did this woman know about that picture? 

''Which picture are you talking about?'' She was actually the one who was confused now. 

''You don't remember your own profile? Hold up.'' Macarena chuckled and grabbed her phone to open the app and show Zulema the picture she was referring to. Zulema managed to keep a straight face and pretended to remember she had uploaded it.

_ I'm gonna kill Saray for fucking setting up my profile without teaching me how this stupid app works. _

''Oh yeah, that one. To answer your question; yes your eyes are functioning just fine. I am wearing said shirt. Why, you like it?'' The brunette grinned as she locked eyes with Macarena again who put her phone back into the pocket of her jacket. The blonde shrugged her shoulders.

''I just wanted to cut the awkward silence, honestly.''

''And my shirt was the first thing that came to your mind?'' Zulema asked in disbelief. ''You say you're an actress but… you don’t appear to be a really good one. It's not the shirt that caught your attention, now was it?'' She added before leaning closer onto the table, her eyes never leaving Macarena's. ''It's the guns,  _ no _ ?''

The younger woman looked down at the table for a brief second before meeting green eyes again. ''I'm not really interested in plastic.''

Zulema snorted. ''Plastic, yeah... we both know that these babies weren't made of plastic. As innocent as you pretend to be... danger attracts you, right?''

''Well,  _ Zulema,  _ I never said I was innocent. Just that I'm an actress. I'm better than you think.'' Macarena replied and immediately regretted doing so. Why the hell was she teasing her back?

''From what you've uploaded to Tinder it seems like you're trying to be an angel.''

''An  _ angel?''  _ Macarena laughed sarcastically. ''And what exactly makes you think that?'' 

'' _ Mira, rubia.  _ People on Tinder tend to search for good fucks. So they upload pictures that leave nothing up for imagination and wait for someone texting them so they can get down to sex. But the content you posted is full of long blonde hair, smiles and everything is perfectly covered up. One would almost think you're a prude,  _ rubi _ .''

''Says the woman with only two pictures uploaded that reveal even less that mine.'' Macarena fired back. This woman was starting to get on her nerves.

''Touché.'' Zulema smirked and reached for a loose strand of blonde hair to wipe it behind the other woman's hair, her fingertips ghosting over the soft skin on Macarena’s neck

''What are you searching for?” Zulema asked, her voice suddenly an octave deeper than previously, sending shivers through the other woman’s body. 

“Why are you really here, Macarena?'' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> to be continued...


	3. who is armando?

_''Porque has venido, rubia?''_

Macarena released a sharp breath at the contact of Zulema's fingertips brushing over her ear, trying to stray her focus from the woman's touch and how it made her feel, trying to think of an answer.

She didn't have one. So she made up a lie.

''I came here because I thought we would have a nice date with drinks and dinner.''

''I already told you I don’t do nice. And who said we were gonna have dinner?'' The older woman replied in all seriousness.

'''Wait, we're not?'' Macarena looked at Zulema with a confused expression which took all of the brunette's self control to not burst into laughter.

'' _Tienes hambre?''_ Zulema asked, the already familiar smug grin appearing on her face again that made Macarena squirm in her seat. 

_I'm starving._

The blonde leaned back again and nodded her head as she got comfortable in her seat. ''Yeah a little. I shouldn't be drinking without having eaten anything.''

''You come to a _pub_ and don't eat before?'' Zulema shook her head at the younger woman. '' _Ai rubi..._ I thought your common knowledge would be better after everything you've studied but apparently I was wrong.'' 

Macarena rolled her eyes, this woman was unbelievable. In any other situation she would've been long gone, she usually didn't allow people to talk to her like that. At one point in her life, Macarena had learned to shut people like Zulema out immediately. She's been hurt too many times to let someone break her barriers like that, but then again, Zulema wasn't like other people. Something drew the blonde to her. So she stayed and tried to deal with the dark humor and sarcasm. 

''This is not about my apparent lack of common knowledge, it's rather about your lack of experience with dates. There is always food involved and I would really appreciate if we could go some place to eat.''

''There's food here too you know.'' Zulema raised her brows, she had no intention to leave this place whatsoever. But ‘her date’ was getting on her nerves.

''Chips and crackers are not food Zulema.''

''Of course they are! Or do you usually drink your crackers? Are you one of those actresses that only eat salad and vegetables to stay super skinny because they think that the most important thing is to fit into society's image of a perfect body?''

Macarena sighed in frustration. This was one hell of a night already. And from what her feeling was telling her, it would only get worse. 

''Are you always so full of shit?''

''Are you always such a prude?''

'' _¿Perdón? Me_? A prude?''

''No, the person sitting next to you.''

The blonde closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose to prevent herself from proving Zulema the exact opposite and bragging about all the times she had fucked Rizos senseless in a public bathroom, let alone what she had done to her at home. 

_That's none of her business Macarena, pull yourself together._

Zulema snickered, reaching forward to remove Macarena's hand from her face. '' _Tranquila princesa,_ I'm just messing with you. Maybe you'll be more fun once you've eaten something. _Vamos._ The bill is on me.'' 

Macarena looked at Zulema with a frown as she watched her walk towards the exit of the pub without paying a cent. She eventually followed and walked next to the other woman, a curious expression on her face. Zulema looked right back at her as they came to stand next to a motorcycle, her eyes giving Macarena the same questioning look.

'' _Qué?''_

“Didn’t you say you were gonna pay?''

Zulema chuckled when she grabbed the keys from her pockets and pulled out a helmet from the space beneath the seat to hand it to Macarena. ''That's the whole joke, blondie. I don't have to pay in that place. I know the owner, why do you think I asked you to come here?''

Macarena's eyes fell to the helmet, then found Zulema's face again. The question about the bill was completely forgotten. ''You're not asking me to ride a motorcycle with you, are you?''

Zulema looked at the helmet, then back to Macarena. ''You said you wanted food. We can also walk but I don't think you'll make it far with these shoes. And I could drop you home afterwards.'' 

Macarena huffed, Zulema had a point. After debating the pros and cons of the situation, she grabbed the helmet, put it on and shook her head, silently cursing herself for ever agreeing to any of this. The older woman positioned herself on the vehicle, Macarena doing the same before reaching back to hold onto the seat as they would drive. She waited for the brunette to turn on the motor, but Zulema didn't leave the spot. 

''Put your arms around me, I don't bite. But there's no way you're not gonna fall off this baby if you just hold onto the seat. _Venga_.'' She ordered, looking back at the woman behind her.

Macarena hesitated, fighting with herself once again. She could still get up and leave, but if she decided to do this now, there would be no going back. Her body fought her brain once more and a second later, Macarena found herself wrapping her arms around Zulema’s waist, careful to not have her face come any closer to Zulema's body though. And that's when the brunette finally drove off.

It was just a five minute ride from the pub, Zulema however had been right when she said that Macarena wouldn't have made it far in her shoes. The way to the restaurant was a pain in the ass, but once they finally arrived, Macarena got off the machine lost in her own thoughts. _Of course she would drag me to a fucking fast food place. Five guys, really? Wait- since when do I have a problem with fast food? I don't. I have a problem because it is Zulema who got me here. Why does she manage to get onto my nerves already?_

''Penny for your thoughts, _rubia._ '' Zulema chuckled while turning off the motorcycle and stepping over to Macarena to help her with the helmet she was currently struggling to open. Once it was off, Zulema couldn't help but bite her lip to fight the urge to laugh at the sight that met her. ''Knowing you, you might wanna fix your hair. It's all over the place.''

Macarena groaned, trying to fix her hair in the Helmet's reflection. ''Well, I didn't exactly expect to wear this thing today, sorry for not showing up with a ponytail.''

''Ponytails don't work well with helmets like this, it gets uncomfortable. You would've complained even more than you already do.'' Zulema replied with a dry tone as she put the object back in its place. ''Come on, let's get you something to eat tiger.'' 

With a nod of her head, Zulema told Macarena to follow and the two women made their way inside of the restaurant. They went to order on the front, sat down at a free table and soon enough they found themselves finishing up their meals while chatting about any topic that possibly crossed their minds. 

''What's your favorite tv show?'' Macarena asked before dipping her last fries into the ketchup and shoving it into her mouth. 

''I don't usually spend my time watching television, but when I do, I like seeing documentaries.'' Zulema replied, holding a hand in front of her mouth as she was chewing a bite of her burger.

''Which kind?'' The fact that Zulema watched _documentaries_ had caught Macarena's attention. Maybe this woman was more interesting than she initially thought. 

''Mostly the ones about crimes. The way the narrator describes the criminal is very interesting, just like the reason... or rather explanations said criminals tend to have for their crimes. But I also like to see wild animals in their full nature, a predator hunting its prey and the grace they catch them with. Life is fascinating, _rubia._ '' 

_Wow. Maybe we can watch one together sometimes?_

The blonde bit her lip to prevent her tongue from saying those words out loud, but the way Zulema was talking about something of her interest was truly mesmerizing, Macarena could listen to it forever. But she didn't want it to show, not yet. So she just smiled at that and finished up her drink before she answered ''Yeah, tell me about it. It works in very fascinating ways sometimes... it's full of surprises.''

''Yes, definitely. But enough with the philosophical chatter now, let's go back to the pub I need you to try one of my favorite drinks.'' Zulema cleaned her hands with one of the napkins and got up from her seat. 

Macarena did just the same, following Zulema outside who lit up a cigarette and offered one to her, the blonde gladly taking it. After all the nerves Zulema had robbed her so far, she was in great need of one. 

But before she could light it up and take the first drag, Zulema suddenly stopped her. ''Wait wait.'' The woman mumbled, a finger coming to the corner of Macarena's lip. The younger woman froze, completely taken aback by the gesture, not daring to do something that would break the contact of Zulema's fingertip on her mouth. Green eyes met hazel ones, and for a short moment they were just staring at each other, a new kind of tension forming between them. Something Macarena couldn't quite put her finger on just yet. It was new. Strange, but nice. 

It was Zulema who eventually broke the silence and ripped Macarena out of her daydream. Turns out she was just wiping away a drop of ketchup. 

''You had something on your face- oh wait it's still there.'' Zulema explained right when she smeared the ketchup onto the blonde's nose. Macarena was ready to protest, but when the sauce dropped from her nose right onto her white shirt, the urge to protest turned into the need of _killing_ that woman.

'' _Joder, Zulema!_ Ketchup stains! I can't believe I'm eating fast food with these clothes, this was one of my favorites!'' She cried out, wiping the drop away and licking it off her finger. 

Zulema rolled her eyes in annoyance. ''It wasn't me who had this shit all over her face. Besides, you were bound to get your clothes dirty either way. You eat like a child.''

''Well, Zulema. I usually don't go to a place where the only have burgers that give you no choice than to eat them with your hands. I usually don't eat this shit!'' Macarena snapped, raising her voice in the process.

''Sorry if the banquet doesn't fit your eloquent taste. God you're such a spoiled princess.'' Zulema replied in the same dry tone she usually had, clearly unbothered by the situation. 

Next thing she knew, she felt a sharp pain spread right across her cheek. Did this bitch just slap her?

'' _Escúchame bien, Zulema._ I don't know who you think I am, but it definitely isn't the image of that spoiled brat you have in mind. And if you tried to get to know me today, your smartass woul've known.'' Macarena leaned closer, glaring into the green eyes in front of her. ''Everything I got, I owned with hard work. So don't run around calling me a spoiled fucking princess, _vale?''_

Zulema raised her brows, looking down at the smaller woman and nodded with pursed lips. ''Claro. But don't you ever lay hands on me again blondie, or I promise you'll regret it. Now put that fucking stick between your lips and let me light it so you can calm your fucking nerves.'' She held the lighter out for the blonde who did just that and took a deep drag before blowing out the smoke. ''Better?''

Macarena nodded, the nicotine finally making her body relax after the past two hours. She wanted to pick up a normal conversation again, get to know Zulema a little better, but she was faster than her.

''Who is Armando?'' Zulema asked with genuine interest.

Macarena almost choked on the smoke of her cigarette. She found herself coughing, eyes widening in surprise. It took her a moment to collect herself before she could look at Zulema again. How did she know about him? '' _Que?''_

''Wasn't that the name? Earlier in the pub you were showing me my Tinder profile and got a notification by some dude called Armando I think. Who is he? A brother? A family friend? An ex lover?'' Zulema smirked at the last comment, but Macarena's attention was elsewhere. The blonde had grabbed her phone, scrolling up to see old notifications and there it was.

_Macarena it’s Armando. I'm in town. Can I see you? We need to talk._ 


The color drained from her cheeks, memories coming crashing back in. Macarena's pulse sped up, she suddenly felt sick. ''I... I have to go. I'm so sorry.''

The last thing Zulema saw was a petite blonde woman running across the street until she was out of sight. 

After a moment of confusion, Zulema got back on her motorcycle, went back to her own apartment and replayed the previous hours she had spent with a total stranger. She couldn't decide whether she liked or hated that stupid blonde. The way she would demand things, boss her around and complain about literally everything... Zulema got a headache just from the thought of it. But then again, she had seen something in her, a part of that woman she hadn't explored enough yet and only waited for its time to come to the surface. A part that was seeking for adventure, adrenaline and danger. And Zulema wondered if they would ever cross paths again, or if she was damned to remain questioning herself if she could've shown Macarena a glimpse of exactly that.

Meanwhile across town, Macarena stormed into Rizos' apartment, right after she had opened the door for her. 

''Maca, what are you doing here? Is everything alri-'' She started, but Macarena's lips cut her off. Before she had closed the door behind her, the blonde's lips were already on her own, kissing her with a force she had never felt the previous times they had hooked up. Rizos broke the kiss, Maca taking the opportunity to take off her jacket and the ruined shirt. ''Macarena, _dios,_ what's gotten into you? Are you drun- oh my _god_ why are you wearing this lingerie?''

Macarena grabbed her friend's throat to push her against the door as she kissed down the woman's collarbone, her free hand ripping down her shirt before removing the other hand in order to open her bra and throw it away carelessly. 

''Fuck, Maca...'' Came a response from Rizos, her eyes following the piece of clothing that had just gotten off her body. ''That bad of a date?''

Macarena was busy running her tongue over the brunette's nipple when she heard the question and bit down onto the sensitive skin, earning a yelp from Rizos.

''I've had a really bad day, so shut up Rizos, will you? Unless you want me to stop now.'' Macarena growled before proceeding to pull her friend towards the bedroom where she pushed her down onto the sheets and crawled on top of the slim body. Rizos looked up at the blonde, her brown eyes locking with Maca's as she wiped a strand of blonde hair behind her ear, making Macarena flinch at the sense memory.

_Why did you come here? What are you searching for, Macarena?_ Zulema's voice echoed through her head. She still didn't have an answer. But she did have one right there, right then with the curly-haired woman. 

She was searching for a way to forget her past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sapphiccivantos on twitter, come say hi!


	4. freaky friday

Sunlight illuminated the room, gently waking the two sleeping women curled up in the sheets. Macarena was the first one to open her eyes, memories from the previous night coming back to her mind. 

“Shit…” She mumbled before running both her hands over her face with a sigh. 

“Good morning to you too.” Came a voice from the other side of the bed. Rizos turned around, looking over at Macarena who was still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes. “So, are you gonna tell me what happened now?”

Macarena groaned and pulled the blanket over her head. _Not now._

She got off the bed, covered her naked body with the sheets during the process before making her way towards the bathroom to grab a robe. “I need coffee first Rizos, let me wake up and prepare for this conversation first, _por favor_.” 

The brunette rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her face as she got up as well, put on a shirt and panties, then made her way towards the kitchen to prepare coffee for the two of them. 

Once Macarena got back to the kitchen, a silk robe covering her body for now, Rizos pressed a cup into her hand that was filled with the requested hot liquid. “Now spill the tea. Why were you so god damn pissed yesterday? I mean it was hot, I’m not complaining, but I want some gossip.” 

The blonde plopped down into a chair, took the first sip of the coffee that burned down her throat in the most satisfying way and then began to tell Rizos about her disastrous date. 

“Well, I matched with this woman.” Macarena started and raised her finger when her friend opened her mouth. “Before you say anything, fuck you for not changing the settings like I asked you to. Anyways, I matched with this woman, she is _really_ attractive… and she texted me after the match. But it wasn’t what you would consider a normal Tinder conversation. First thing this woman did was calling me _‘Rubi’_ , then she asked if I had plans for the night yet and when I told her no, she suggested we meet up at a pub. So we met up in this weird pub called ‘ _El infierno’_ . Everything was red, very seductive. She was twenty minutes late. I was actually about to leave again and wanted to use the restroom first when she suddenly appeared behind me in the mirror and scared the shit out of me. Something about her was so off, she kept teasing me and making bad jokes. I don’t know if I stayed because I was so attracted to her or because I wanted to prove myself to her… maybe it was a mix of both. But either way, she drove me insane with her fucking attitude. Asking me if I drink my fucking crackers because I said they’re not food, then dragging me to a _fast food_ place and smearing ketchup on my nose and finally dropping it onto my _white_ shirt. I will never get rid of this ketchup stain again.” 

Macarena took a deep breath. She was mostly talking and rambling to herself at this point, reliving last night’s events and taking a sip of her coffee every now and then. 

Rizos couldn’t help but laugh. ‘’Sounds like a bad comedy movie to me. But it also sounds like you just don’t understand her sense of humor Maca. Did you even give her a chance?’’

Macarena glared at her friend, pursing her lips in the process. “Yes I did! And she fucked up every time. But I wasn’t done yet. We were gonna go back to the pub and I thought we might get along better after the dinner because we also had a nice conversation but then...” She paused and looked back outside, her eyes suddenly incredibly insecure. “Armando texted me. He’s in town. I don’t know how he found me, I blocked him from all my social media accounts and changed my usernames but… I guess he tried hard enough. He wants to meet up with me and talk about something.” Macarena turned her gaze away, losing herself in the beautiful morning sky that was welcoming another day and forcing her to focus on the present. 

Rizos figured that the story ended there, connecting the dots and filled the spot in front of the blonde, joining her at the table. “ _Mira, Maca._ I don’t know what it is about him that is giving you so much anxiety, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. From the way your body stiffens whenever you talk about him there must have been more than just a breakup, you can’t fool me. But you need to find a way to let go of him. Tinder apparently wasn’t the right option.” After a short pause and a sip from her own mug, something made the brunette frown. “What did you say was that woman’s name again?” 

Macarena’s eyes wandered to her friend, her chin coming to rest in her hand as she spoke, the name falling off her lips as if it had always belonged there. “Zulema.” 

“Could you show me a picture of her, please?” Rizos was getting uncomfortable, much to Macarena’s confusion. But she went to pick up her phone from the nightstand anyways and opened Tinder, clicking on Zulema’s profile and brown eyes widened in shock. 

“No, no, no, this is wrong! Why would _she_ of all people- _joder._ Okay, Macarena. No wonder your date went horrible, thank god it did! This woman, do you know who that is? This is Zulema fucking _Zahir_!” The curly-haired woman threw her hands in the air before they came to rest on her face. 

“Wait, you mean _that_ Zulema Zahir? As in Saray’s best friend Zulema Zahir?” Macarena looked at Rizos with the same expression the woman had given her when she saw Zulema’s picture. 

“Yes, Macarena, _that_ Zulema Zahir. But this is not all of it, she is not just Saray’s best friend. This woman is a fucking criminal. She means _danger_ in every way possible. She was in jail for heaven’s sake! Stay away from her, unless you wanna get hurt again.” 

Macarena chewed on her bottom lip. So she had been right about her gut feeling, the woman she had been so attracted to did mean danger. She should know better than meeting up with a woman her instincts had warned her of. There was no way that she could go through all of this a second time, it had taken her years of therapy to overcome the damage. Even now, she still suffered from nightmares, the helpless cry of a baby that filled her head prevented her from sleeping in the first place. But Zulema was not like that, right? She wouldn’t hurt her like that, _no?_

“No, Macarena. Don’t look like that, I know this face. Stop overthinking. You two parted ways, the date was horrible, now leave it at that. _Stay away_ from her. You need to find someone else to distract yourself with. And I know just the perfect occasion for that. This friday, one of my favorite clubs is having a freaky friday party. Everyone in a costume gets to drink for free. And we’re going!”

* * *

**  
  
**In a different apartment across town, Zulema was telling Saray about the same events of the previous night. 

“When I tell you Saray, _esta chica es loca!”_ Zulema stated with a gesture of her hand, Saray just laughed and clinked their mugs together. 

“Okay, tell me everything. Sounds like you had a fun date, _no?_ ” 

“Not at all, no. We didn’t even do much. After I scared the shit out of her in the bathroom we sat at a table and all this _puta rubia_ did was talk about her achievements and how smart she is. Apparently she is a drama teacher… isn’t that weird? Me on a date with a drama teacher? And then she continued complaining about how hungry she is so I took her to Five Guys but that wasn’t good enough for our spoiled little princess. Oh, and I dropped ketchup onto her shirt by accident. We were gonna go back to the pub but when I asked her about a text message she had gotten earlier, the poor girl looked like she was about to throw up. Seriously, she got all pale and shit. Then blondie stormed off and that’s it.” Zulema shrugged with a snort. “I’ve never met someone like her, _gitana._ She was next level weird… but was also hot.” 

“Hot, huh?” Saray grinned and tilted her head to the side, questioningly. “What did you say was her name again?” 

“Macarena. _¿Por qué?”_

“Hold up. A blonde drama teacher named Macarena? Can I see a picture?” Saray was pretty sure she knew exactly which woman they were talking about. Zulema grabbed her phone to show Macarena’s profile and as soon as Saray’s eyes met the familiar sight, she bursted into laughter. 

_“Oye Zule,_ this is Rizos’ best friend I once told you about! Remember, the one she hooks up with every now and then. I always thought she was heterosexual until she started fucking my ex. But then Rizos and I got back together again and we all know the rest of the story. Guess they’re not fucking anymore if miss Ferreiro is on Tinder now, _eh?”_ Saray was still chuckling when Zulema joined her. 

“Well, I’m not surprised then. Thank god I don’t have to deal with her anymore.” 

“Nah, don’t worry about this chick. I don’t think she will cross your way again. Rizos and I aren’t together anymore, I have my fiancé. There is no way you two are gonna cross paths again, I am sure you would’ve noticed each other before but since that never happened... fuck these _locas_.”

“Yeah, fuck these _locas.”_ Zulema raised her mug and finished her coffee before standing up to make the two of them breakfast. “Are we still going to that club this weekend?”

“You bet! It’s freaky friday. Meaning everyone in a costume will get their drinks for free. We only have to pay to get in.”

“ _Vale,_ sounds good. What are you gonna dress up as?”

‘’Mala is gonna be an assassin, I will be a better version of batwoman. And you my friend, you are going as _el elfo del puto infierno._ But with horns. I have just the right thing for you to wear.’’

**  
  
  
  
**

**Friday night. 10pm.**

‘’Come on Maca, don’t be shy. Show yourself!’’ Rizos called from the hallway. She was already good to go, dressed up as a hot police officer in blue denim and black leather, the handcuffs dangling from her waist but Macarena took ages to get ready.

‘’Me, shy? _Nunca._ ’’ Came a light voice from the bedroom and when Rizos turned around, her jaw dropped deeper than she intended to. In front of her stood an angel, quite literally. Blonde locks were falling loosely over Macarena’s shoulders, on top of her head danced a white halo in contrast to the blood-red painted lips that matched the color of her heels. She was wearing a thin white body that hugged her curves smoothly, and finally, around her waist wrapped a transparent white fabric. She looked better than ever. ‘’Close your mouth, you’re starting to drool.’’ 

Rizos snickered, looking the woman up and down again. ‘’But where are your wings?’’

‘’They’re broken.’’ Macarena replied with a playful wink before giving her friend an actual reply. ‘’They would only get in the way while we’re dancing with strangers.’’

‘’Okay, I love this look but… I have a better shirt for this. Hold up a second.’’ Rizos said and left towards the bedroom, opening the closet to grab a white bra that would make Macarena look twice as hot than she already did. ‘’Here, put this on!’’ The brunette tossed it over to the blonde who caught it and raised her brows.

‘’This thing? It barely covers my nipples!’’

‘’Don’t exaggerate. It will cover your A-cup just perfectly. Stop complaining, we’re trying to get you laid tonight, go change!’’

* * *

**  
  
  
**

’Damn Zule, you look _good._ ’’ Saray said while checking out her best friend. Zulema was wearing a black suit, the blazer revealing a few inches of the see through bra she was wearing underneath. Black heels on her feet, two little horns on her head. Saray wasn’t sure if there had ever been a sexier devil before. ‘’If I wasn’t engaged to miss assassin over there I would be proposing to you now.’’ She added with a glance towards her bride-to-be who was dressed in a red jumpsuit and Zulema’s combat boots, the plastic gun shoved into the pocket, both of them wearing their long black hair straight down. Saray herself was wearing black pants and heels, her torso covered in a black shirt with little applications, except for the white sleeves. Black gloves hid her hands, the long, red claws attached to them would scratch anyone’s eyes out if necessary. Finally, small skeleton hands kept black strands of hair from her face , but the best part of that whole look were the black shades on her nose.

Zulema laughed, shoving Saray with her shoulder and with a nod of her head, asked the two other women to follow her down the hallway. ‘’Come on serial killer and batwoman, let’s get that party started.’’

It wasn’t long until they got there. Like Rizos and Saray had promised their company, they only had to pay to get in and were immediately greeted with a Mojito. While the angel and the cop were already inside for half an hour, drinking and dancing for their life, the trio made its way towards a table in the back of the club, clinking their glasses together to welcome the night. 

As the evening went on with everybody enjoying the party, all of them got drunk eventually. Not too wasted to lose track of their drinks or find themselves puking into a toilet, but drunk enough to feel the daziness take over their minds and let go of whatever trouble they had to deal with in their lives. At one point Macarena left the dancefloor to go and get one more drink for her and Rizos, but once she held the two glasses in her hands she turned around to the sight of her friend leaving with a blonde woman towards the exit. Maca rolled her eyes and put one of the glasses back onto the counter, but it found a new owner rather quickly.

‘’I’ll take it.’’ Came a familiar voice to her right and made Macarena freeze in her seat.

 _It couldn't be._

She closed her eyes for a few heartbeats, inhaling deeply to fill her lungs with oxygen she suddenly couldn’t get enough of. Even her light-headed brain was yelling at her to run away. But even if she tried, Macarena wouldn’t be able to move. 

‘’Are you not even going to look at me?’’ The deep voice asked, goosebumps forming on Macarena’s pale skin. The costume suddenly felt too cold and uncomfortable, too exposing even. The lump in her throat prevented her from breathing properly. After all those years, after everything she had done to get away, she thought she was finally safe. She hadn’t told anyone where her new home would be, but apparently the success had made her visible again. In a slow pace, Macarena turned her head until she met ice cold blue eyes staring at her.


	5. even angels end up dancing with the devil

‘’There you go.  _ Hola princesa. _ ’’

The man’s smile widened when Macarena finally looked at him, the familiar pair of hazel eyes meeting his, after years. She sat next to him in silence, trying to seem as confident and sane as possible in a situation that made her feel anything but. Turned out it was harder than she thought after all the drinks she had. Macarena felt her entire stomach turn, and she couldn’t pinpoint if it was from the alcohol or just her nerves. Probably both.

‘’Aren’t you gonna talk to me? That’s not very nice, don’t you think?’’

The provocation coming from the man made Macarena manage to get a bit more self control back, straightening her back and raising her chin a little as she took a small sip of her drink. She for sure wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of seeing her back down or intimidated. 

‘’What are you doing here, Armando?’’ She asked with a tilt of her head.

Her ex grinned, mirroring the movement of the blonde and took a sip from the glass in his hand, his eyes never leaving Macarena’s. 

‘’I wanted to see you.’’ He said as though it was the most normal thing in the world and as if they didn’t separate in the ugliest way possible, making the blonde tighten her jaw in annoyance.

‘’Well you saw me, now you can go. I don’t want you here, goodbye Armando.’’ Macarena set her glass down and got up from her chair ready to walk away from this situation when, suddenly, she felt a tight grip on her wrist pulling her back towards the bar. Her entire body shivered at the unrequited contact and at the way Armando was now staring at her.

‘’Listen to me, Maca. Don’t talk to me like that. I was polite to you so far,  _ no?  _ I have no bad intentions. I just wanted to apologize and talk to you. Don’t be such a brat,  _ vale? _ ’’ He mumbled against her ear before releasing his hand from the blonde’s arm who got leaned against the chair. She didn’t say anything, and made sure to spare her best poker face at that. But the truth is that Macarena got more nervous than she would like to admit. She had built strong barriers around herself, careful not to let people in and break them, but he knew her too well. He knew which buttons to push and how to keep her in her place. Mostly due to his knowledge of the fear the blonde felt whenever he was around. 

‘’So, what have you been up to in the past years? I see you’re pretty successful as an actress these days.  _ No, carino? _ ’’ 

Macarena tensed at the nickname, she had always hated it. Or at least she did when the word came out of his mouth, just like every other he muttered directed towards her. Her thoughts momentarily slipped to Zulema, wondering what it would sound like if she whispered them into her ear. 

_ Why are you going there now?  _ Macarena questioned herself. Deep down, she knew the answer. Zulema, just like Armando, meant trouble. A different kind, though, and one that attracted her way more than she would like to admit. A danger that made her feel...strangely at ease. Safe even, if she would oh-so-dare to go there.

_ Wrong timing, Maca.  _

The blonde cleared her throat and shook her head, replying to the question she had been asked.

‘’Not exactly, no. I haven’t been acting for more than a year now. I am in charge of a play. But yes, I am pretty successful. Now I’m asking you again, why are you really here?’’

Armando finished his drink, sighing when he put it down onto the counter before turning his gaze back to Macarena. ‘’I already told you that I wanted to see you.’’

‘’Yeah and I am not buying your bullshit anymore. What do you want? Money? Is the company struggling again,  _ eh? _ Do I need to help you out again?’’ The blonde hissed, spitting the words like she was throwing him knives.

‘’Careful, Macarena. You’re on thin ice. Do I need to remind you where we met and how you made your fucking money?” Macarena’s breath hitched. Armando smirked at her reaction. “Yes, you were highly requested…. A beautiful blonde with a perfect body, no wonder you made so much cash. But that was after you met  _ me.  _ It was  _ me  _ who got you out of your crisis and financially stable,  _ mi amor.’ _ ’’ He growled into her ear once more before slowly leaning back to stare at his ex girlfriend and brush a strand of hair behind her ear. ‘’Tell me… are you seeing anyone?’’ 

Just like a twisted joke of fate, on the other side of the room stood Zulema who has been subtly watching the scenario going on at the bar. She didn’t think she would see the blonde again, let alone at the same party she was at. The initial excitement to run into her again was quickly replaced, however, once she noticed she was with company. She kept analyzing Macarena’s body language, careful to not to miss a single detail. She seemed uncomfortable, nervous even. Clearly more intimidated than she wanted to show. This guy seemed to be a huge prick. And after two minutes of putting the pieces together, Zulema finally realized. 

‘’And you must be Armando…’’ The brunette mumbled to herself, downing the last sip of her tequila before heading into the duo’s direction to put Macarena out of her misery. 

‘’ _ Perdóname bomboncita,  _ I got held up.’’ Zulema said before placing a hand onto Macarena’s waist, gently kissing her cheek. She pulled her into an embrace immediately after seeing Macarena’s confused expression, leaning in to whisper into her ear. ‘’Play along.’’ With a wide smile on her face she turned around again to the man in front of them, feeling Maca’s body slowly relax against her hand still placed around her figure in a territorial way. ‘’Who’s your friend here?’’ 

Macarena was still perplexed for a moment, even though she was trying to hide it. She looked from Zulema to Armando, back to Zulema again -  _ How was she here?-  _ and finally cleared her throat once more deciding that playing this out was the best way out of this situation she was in right now. 

‘’This is Armando.’’ Macarena replied.

They shared a quick glance before Zulema removed her hand from the blonde and held it out for the man. ‘’ _ Qué tal, Armi? Yo soy Zulema, Rubi's pareja. _ ’’ 

Armando didn’t take her hand. Instead, he raised his eyebrows and started laughing. ‘’Well would you look at that. Since when do you like pussy, Maca?’’ He asked and turned his head towards Macarena whose blood was boiling in her veins. But not only did she feel anger bubbling up inside of her stomach, deep down, there was also a glimpse of shame.

‘’One would think you’d know me better, Armando.’’

Zulema eventually huffed and pulled back her hand, now bringing it to rest on Macarena’s thigh that tensed up underneath her touch immediately. It was subtle, barely noticeable if you didn’t pay as much attention as the brunette. But she did. And she noticed. Giving Macarena a knowing grin she stroked her thumb over the soft skin before turning her attention back to Armando. 

‘’We met around a year ago, started hanging out and well, now we go to parties in matching costumes. The angel and the devil... a beautiful love story, don't you think?’’ Zulema raised both her brows, then turned her head to look at her ‘girlfriend’ before leaning in again, kissing a spot right above the woman’s jaw. The sharp inhale didn’t remain unnoticed. 

Of course Zulema had come to the bar to put Macarena out of her misery, but she couldn’t help herself from teasing the woman every now and then. And in all honesty; Macarena didn’t really seem to mind. 

Armando scoffed, this seemed absurd. When he had met Macarena back in business times, she hadn’t mentioned women once. And even if he was to imagine the blonde with a woman, it clearly wouldn’t have been someone like Zulema. No, this ‘couple’ was strange and the thought that they were both lying for whatever reason wouldn’t leave his mind. He made himself a silent promise that he would get behind it eventually, one way or another.

‘’Yeah, a fairytale.’’ He said sarcastically. ‘’I still wonder why you’ve never mentioned women to me before, Maca. Did you ever work with them? Back in your days as an escort I mean?’’

_ If looks could kill.  _

The shame that had been growing inside of the blonde now fully took over her senses. This had been the last thing she wanted Zulema to find out. 

Macarena turned her head away, averting her gaze from the raven-haired woman and chewing on her bottom lip as she took a deep breath and tried preparing herself for the conversation her and Zulema would probably have rather soon. But first she would have to answer his question, so she crossed her legs, ran a hand over her face and shook her head. ‘’No, I did not. Just once, she was filthy rich and paid me a huge amount of money just for accompanying her to a gala. But if I remember correctly you spent every single cent I earned that night in a fucking casino for alcohol and gambling instead of paying our rent.’’

Both of them knew exactly how the evening had ended, but neither of them dared to say another word. If he wanted to win Macarena back, he would have to prove himself, show her that he had become a different person. But had he really? They say old habits die hard, and she was already getting on his nerves again with her stupid attitude. 

He stayed quiet, gave Macarena a look that said ‘ _ Watch your mouth or you’ll regret it.’ _ before reducing the space between him and the blonde and whispering into her ear ‘’I am sure you don’t want to get on my bad side. I’m staying in town for a while, I have work here and believe it or not, but once I leave again, you will be coming with me.’’ 

And with that he walked into the crowd, leaving the angel and the devil behind. 

Once he was out of sight, Zulema removed her hand from Macarena’s thigh and arched her brows as they finally established eye contact again. ‘’You were a whore?’’

‘’Fuck you, Zulema.’’ Macarena snapped and quickly got away from the chair she had been leaning against. She wanted to storm off, but after a few steps she suddenly felt the need to go back and justify herself. She hated how people connected her former occasion to her being a ‘whore’ when it wasn’t anything like prostitution at all. She knew she didn’t have to explain herself to no one, but...that’s what she was going to do. Macarena walked back to the brunette, tugged at her arm once before she spoke. ‘’Come with me. Please.’’ She added when Zulema didn’t look like moving at all, but the pleading look in the blonde’s eyes eventually convinced her. 

They walked outside, Macarena finding them a bench to sit down on, a deep sigh following. She rested her arms on her knees, folded her hands before turning her head to look at Zulema who had sat down next to her, a curious expression on her face. 

‘’I never sold my body. People who booked me usually wanted me to accompany them for dinner, some of them took me to an opera. Others, like the woman I mentioned, needed me as their alibi for red carpet events and what not. But I never slept with any of them. I wouldn’t have done that.” Macarena eventually looked away from Zulema’s attentive gaze. She hated talking about this part of her past, though she needed Zulema to understand. She didn’t want to be judged by her. 

For a while, they sat on the bench in silence. Macarena had no idea why she cared so much about what Zulema thought of her, just like the raven-haired woman had no idea why Maca had dragged her outside just to tell her this. It wasn’t like she cared. She barely knew this woman. But for whatever reason, Zulema stayed and listened. It was also her who broke the silence, curiosity to know more getting the best of her. 

“Why did you work as an escort?” She asked, lighting up a cigarette and taking a drag before blowing the smoke out into the night sky. 

Macarena hesitated. She didn’t know Zulema well enough to open up about her whole past and tell her about the consequences that led her to this, let alone what happened afterwards. She stood up with a deep breath, finally getting back her self control and pushing the insecurity far away from her thoughts. 

“That doesn’t matter. I just wanted to make it clear that I never made anyone pay to fuck me. I don’t need that.” She said as she readjusted the halo on her head and tugged at her top to adjust its placement on her chest. 

“ _ Pues felicidades.”  _ Zulema replied, standing up as well. She couldn’t help herself from looking at the fabric Macarena’s hands were fumbling with for a little too long. Long enough for the other woman to notice.

“Enjoying the sight?” Macarena quirked an eyebrow while bringing her hair to the front, blonde strands covering her chest momentarily. 

“No. You just make it impossible not to stare at your breasts with this thing.” Zulema huffed before paying her attention back to the cigarette in her hands.

The other woman snorted but fought the smirk that was tempting to form on her lips. “Sure thing…” She mumbled, turned around to leave towards the club again before looking back at the brunette once more “ _ Oye _ , Zulema?”

“ _ Que?”  _

Macarena stood silent for a couple of seconds, figuring out her next words. Her eyes had a soft, yet shy expression.

“ _ Gracias.  _ For helping me back there I mean.” 

Zulema nodded her head and gave the blonde a crooked, but sincere smile “No biggie. I just don’t like men intimidating women.”

“Yeah…. I’ll go back now. Maybe I’ll see you later?” 

“ _ Claro. _ ” The brunette said and sat back down, enjoying a moment of silence once the younger woman was gone. 

What a strange girl she was. 

Zulema would’ve guessed anything, but that little rubi had been an escort girl once? No, definitely not. To be honest with herself, she just always pictured Macarena as the girl with the perfect, uneventful life, who would occasionally do something crazy - like going on a tinder date with a woman like herself - just for the thrill of the adventure that she doesn’t get from her monotonous life. She caught herself wondering about the woman’s background story more than she probably should, a thousand questions now running through her mind. Had she been forced to do this job? Why hadn’t her parents helped her out? Had they even known their daughter’s occasion? Why did her ex know? But most importantly; why the fuck was she asking herself all of this? 

Zulema shook her head at her own thoughts. This wasn’t her problem and she sure as hell wouldn’t make it one. She threw what’s left of her cigarette away and made her way back to the party. One more drink and she’d leave. Or so she thought. 

When she got back to the club, Zulema wanted nothing more than to just turn around again and leave for good, her party mood definitely long gone by now. But seeing men harassing women and not doing anything about it was against her nature, and as she noticed Armando once again trying to make a move, she took a deep breath to get the annoyance off her face, put on a sarcastic grin for a brief moment before making her way through the dancing crowd until she was close to the dancing angel and her stupid ex. 

The whole scene was a pity. A desperate man trying to approach the blonde haired woman to dance with her, while she pretended to not see him and kept on dancing by herself. 

Before Armando could get any closer and physical, Zulema’s arms wrapped around the slim body from behind, her hand slowly making their way down Macarena’s waist before she pressed a kiss to her shoulder and danced with the blonde to the rhythm of the song. Macarena didn’t have to turn around to know who was helping her out once again, she instantly played along. Maybe it was the alcohol that made her press herself against Zulema’s body way too much for just a pretend act, maybe it was the ever so growing sexual tension between the two of them. But whatever it was, the line between yes and no was starting to get blurry. Zulema gave a light squeeze around the blonde’s hips as she traveled her hands a bit more downwards, and Macarena held out a sigh from her lips.

Zulema noticed. Noticed the heat of Macarena’s body setting her own on fire, but she also noticed that the son of a bitch that Armando was, was still behind them, keeping his eyes on the two women carefully. He wouldn’t leave them alone. So Zulema eventually grabbed Macarena’s hand and pulled her away from the dancefloor and towards the bathroom, before her anger would make her do something against the man she would regret later.

When the door closed behind them she let go of the blonde, crossed her arms in front of her chest and sighed. “You’d think you know better ways to get annoying men off your ass.” 

Macarena’s smile instantly dropped at that. This was definitely not the conversation she expected them to have right now. The blonde mentally kicks herself for getting caught up in their little moment beforehand, blaming the alcohol for blurring her rational decision making habilites.  _ What else did you think was going to happen in this bathroom, Macarena? Snap out of it. Now. _

“Yeah, and you’d think that you know other ways than grinding against me on the dancefloor.” Macarena snapped back, glaring at the dark haired woman with a scowl. 

“Yeah? Like what?” Zulema asked unbothered. 

Macarena opened her mouth to fire back a snarky reply, but no words left her lips. She didn’t have an answer. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought. Besides, you didn’t seem to mind. I felt the way your body reacted... hips don’t lie,  _ rubia.”  _

_ Shit.  _

Macarena shrugged her shoulders in an attempt to play it cool, and to sound equally unbothered. “I had to go with it,  _ no? _ It would have seemed weird if I hadn’t danced along.”

“Yeah, sure. Do you want to know what I think your body wanted to tell me?” Zulema ran a hand over her mouth, pinching her lips along the way as she walked closer to the blonde who took a step back with each step the brunette got closer until her back hit the wall and she was trapped. Again. Like on their first date. The familiarity of it all doesn’t fly unnoticed by Zulema, who smirks as she brings her hands next to Macarena’s head pining her like she pinned her on their first encounter, leaning in in slowly and reducing the space between them inch by inch until she could feel the smaller woman’s breath against her skin. “I think your body is trying to tell me that you need to get laid.” 

That earned her the second slap on her face from Macarena since they met. 

“Who the fuck do you think you are to talk to me like that,  _ eh? _ ” Macarena hissed, and Zulema was just about to put this girl into her place when the bathroom door swung open, making them both turn their eyes to the sight of a brunette approaching them and raising one of her eyebrows at Zulema’s proximity from the blonde’s body.

“Is there a problem, Maca?” 

Zulema paid her attention to the stranger and raised her brows right back at the woman. “I’m sorry, who are you?”

Macarena smiled at their company, completely ignoring Zulema as she left her previous position in front of the raven-haired woman, pulling her friend in for a hug. When they parted again, Zulema was still waiting for an answer, her eyes switching between the two women in front of her. 

A smooth voice cut the momentary silence, the brunette’s features however weren’t exactly that. The beautiful stranger held her chin quite high, almost as if she was looking down at Zulema when her arms crossed in front of her chest and she shifted the weight of her body onto her left. This woman acted like she owned whichever room she walked in, and right now, she was acting like she just hijacked Macarena from her. Zulema tightened her jaw.

“ _ Soy Lidia Aguilar.  _ But better yet, who are  _ you?”  _


	6. candy shop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello my dears, thank you so much for reading this story, i am really happy to see so many people enjoying it, your comments always make my days and i can't wait for you to find out everythung else that i have planned for this. 
> 
> things are gonna start getting a little deep from now on, pepare to find out about macarena's past. it's not gonna be fun. 
> 
> tw: mentions of violence

Not long after Lidia had introduced herself to Zulema and the only exchange of emotions had been a wide sarcastic smile, the evening went on as if nothing had happened. Macarena and Lidia were dancing, Armando watching them from the other side of the club, Zulema left after one final drink and Rizos did god knows what with a stranger outside of the club. 

But soon enough the night came to an end, everyone parted ways and went home. 

Once Rizos and Macarena reached the blonde's apartment, Maca plopped down onto the bed and covered her face with both her hands. Her head was spinning from everything that had happened. The original plan had been for both of them to find someone to take home. While Rizos succeeded within the first hour and took some girl to a dark corner behind the club instead of bringing her home, Macarena wasn't exactly successful. First Armando, then Zulema and on top of all that, Lidia. The fact that she was working with her and now plus Armando being back in town could get her into more trouble than she wants to think about. 

Rizos entered the bedroom right after Maca and changed into her nightwear, then sat down next to Macarena who was still laying on the same spot, in the same position like a squirrel that was ready to sleep all winter long.

'' _ Que ha pasado, Maca?''  _ The curly-haired woman asked and softly ran a hand up and down Macarena's shoulder. She didn't need to tell her friend that she'd seen Zulema pull her into the bathroom, Rizos knew Macarena would tell her everything eventually. And the blonde knew as well, except for one detail or the other. Of course she trusted Rizos, but she was not exactly good at keeping secrets and right now, some things were better off unsaid.

Macarena sighed as she removed her hands from her face and stared at the ceiling, the words that left her lips still seemed too strange to be true. 

''So, so much Rizos. Armando, Zulema, Lidia...''

''Who is Lidia?''

''She's...'' The blonde exhaled deeply. 

Yeah. Lidia Aguilar, who was she? 

''She is an old friend. We met in the dancing classes that I took back in college. Our teacher assigned her to me once she joined our group and we did a couple of choreographies together.'' Macarena continued, still avoiding eye contact by staring a hole into the white ceiling above her.

''So why is it stressing you out then? Isn't it a good thing to meet old friends again?'' Rizos asked, clearly confused. 

''Yeah, I guess.''

The thing that her friend didn't know was that the party wasn't the first time she had seen Lidia after college.

* * *

_ ''Welcome. My name is Macarena Ferreiro, I am the person in charge of the whole play and your dance teacher. You've been assigned to multiple classes depending on the role you've gotten. I am going to teach you the main choreography whose song I'll be singing. It will be the play's finale. This is going to be the first time that Madrid's population will see a play about women loving women. It is our responsibility to not make something out of this that it's not.'' Macarena paused, putting weight on the following words. _

_ ''A man's sexual fantasy. That is not what this is. This is a story of women falling in love with each other, the exploring of their sexuality. It is supposed to be erotic, slinky even. But not cheap. And it is in our hands to deliver nothing less but that. So you probably understand the importance of this class. We will be seeing each other four times a week. Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays and Saturdays from 6pm to 9pm. I expect discipline from each and every single on of you. At the ages 23 - 27 you should know what that is. If someone doesn't show up to this class without writing me an E-mail, this person will automatically be suspended from the play. This is not high school, this is what might get you jobs in the near future. My opinion is quite important in Madrid, so you will like to stay on my good side and with good work, maybe even get a recommendation.''  _

_ Macarena stood in front of her desk, her eyes focused on the students as she spoke with a soft, yet serious voice. Everyone was sitting on stage in two rows, listening to their teacher's words. _

_ ''I know I am asking for a lot, but you knew the conditions for this play before you signed up and auditioned. Since all of you are here today, I suppose you've agreed to this. But the most important thing besides all the effort and time you are going to put into this, is to have fun. Dancing is supposed to be relieving and make you feel free. Always keep that in mind!'' _

_ Macarena walked from side to side with a clipboard in her hands, checking the name list of the women standing on stage that was pinned to it.  _

_ ''Sara Garcia?'' Macarena called. _

_ ''Yes.'' Came an answer, the blonde checked the box next to the name. _

_ ''Lola Perez?''  _

_ ''Aqui.'' _

_ ''Natalia Diaz?'' _

_ ''Si.'' _

_ ''Lidia Aguilar?'' Macarena's head shot up, her eyes searching for light green ones that were already staring right into hers.  _

_ It couldn't be.  _

_ ''Si.'' Came the well known voice from a brunette in the second row. _

* * *

Macarena continued telling her friend about the previous events with Armando, how Zulema had come for her rescue the first time, how they happened to wear matching costumes and about the second time the dark haired woman saved her from her ex. The dancing part however, was left out. She had no interest in another pointless conversation with Rizos about this, so the blonde eventually stood up to change into her sweatpants and a loose shirt, tightening her hair in a bun and finally laying down under the covers. Rizos knew better than to ask more questions. Though she was usually the most curious person who wouldn't stop digging until she got her answers, Macarena just seemed to need an embrace rather than an interrogation. So Rizos laid down next to her friend, wrapped her arms around the cold body and held her until she fell asleep in her arms.

* * *

Macarena was the first one to wake up after exactly three hours of a restless sleep. Her nightmares were back. With all their intensity. After waking up for the second time next to Rizos she had left the bed and decided it would be the best to sleep on the couch, but once the clock said 7am Macarena gave up, grabbed her bag and left her friend's apartment. It was just a five minute drive from the brunette's place to her own, but on her way there she almost missed two stop signs and a car by just an inch. 

Maybe it wasn't the best time to drive yet. 

With a deep sigh, the blonde parked her car and made her way inside. She needed to go to town today and buy a gift , but definitely not in this condition. Rizos' birthday was coming up and recently they had been joking about buying something from a sex shop together. Her friend had always bragged about strap ons and how great they were, but in contrast to her, Macarena had always been a bit skeptical about these things. Why would you need those things if you were with a woman? A concept she didn't understand. But one night when they were making out in the blonde's apartment again, her friend had joked about Macarena getting one of those toys 'for her birthday' and given her the bambi eyes. And maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all, right? She still hadn't hooked up with someone new yet anyways, she might as well give Rizos what she wanted.

Macarena took a hot shower to waken her senses and bring her numb limbs back to life, wrapped her body into her favorite fluffy robe and made breakfast. One cup of tea and two hours later she crawled back into bed in an attempt to get a little more sleep. The sex shop wouldn't open until later that day anyways and she was still considering taking the brunette with her, she was the one with the experience after all. 

But after two documentaries about serial killers and another three hour nap, Macarena decided against it when she saw Rizos' name on the display of her vibrating phone.

'' _D_ _ ime''  _ She grumbled, yawning as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes.

''I tried to call you three times, where the hell are you?!'' Came her friend's high pitched voice from the other side of the phone.

''I am at home. I left early this morning. Couldn't sleep. Sorry I was too tired to leave a message or anything and I didn't want to wake you.''

''Oh... sorry Maca, I was just worried because we said we would spend the weekend before my birthday together.''

''Yeah no, I know. I will be coming back later, I just wanted to get some more sleep before coming over again. I was really exhausted and barely got any sleep. But I will definitely be there for your birthday tomorrow, don't worry.''

'' _ Vale.  _ See you later  _ chica!''  _ And with that the brunette hung up the phone.

Macarena tossed her phone to the side, groaning when she let her face fall into the mountain of pillows on her bed. All she wanted was to bury herself underneath all the cozy blankets and pillows and sleep for the next hundred years. But that was exactly what she couldn't do. She had to fix her hair, walk into town, buy this stupid ass gift, wrap it and then go to Rizos' place to celebrate the woman's birthday. 

The blonde turned over, took a last deep breath before she finally got out of bed and took a look into the mirror. The sight that met her was worse than she had thought it would be, Macarena would have to make use of her best poker faces and makeup skills to play it cool in front of Rizos. Her hair was all over the place, black eyebags painting their exhaustion right onto Macarena's face and on top of that she appeared really, really pale. She was frustrated. The last time she looked like that was in the times she began to realize that Armando wasn't the man she thought he was and things got worse each day. Now he had barely come close to her and she was already a mess. Macarena gulped when her gaze shot down to her stomach as she slowly tugged up the hem of her top, a non-existent wave of pain starting to form in her belly.

She quickly pulled her shirt down again. Now was not the time. Now she would pull herself together. For Rizos. But most importantly for herself. All of this ended years ago, it was part of the past. Just because he was back in town it didn't mean the story would repeat itself again. Macarena's thoughts slipped to Zulema and the way she had protected her. Twice within one night, without ever hearing a word from her about any of this. It was strange because this woman had been getting on her nerves the entire time they were alone, but the same time Macarena had felt so safe in her arms like never before. For a moment she just  _ knew  _ that no one would be able to hurt her as long as Zulema was around. 

Macarena's eyes immediately rushed back up, her reflection giving her a judging but also shocked look.  _ You're getting yourself into trouble, Macarena.  _

''Oh shut up.'' She said to her reflection before finally turning her back on herself to get into the bathroom and cover up the mess of a face she currently had. 

* * *

Soon enough, Macarena was presentable to the public again. Her hair was up in a bun, leggings and an oversized shirt would do. A little bit of Mascara and concealer was enough to cover up the necessary parts, it was just a quick trip into one shop anyways.

A twenty minute walk later, the blonde made her way into town and stood in front of the shop that was welcoming her with red LED letters. 

''Here goes nothing.'' Macarena muttered to herself as she got in, a friendly cashier greeting her on the way in and eventually asking if she needed help as Maca looked through some pretty nightgowns made of lace, some of leather. The cashier came up to the blonde, asking her what exactly she was searching for. 

''Well, it's my friend's birthday tomorrow and I'm trying to find a suitable gift for her.''

''Alright, are you searching for something for yourself, something to wear for example? Or rather a toy she could use?'' The woman asked.

Macarena tilted her head to the side, she had originally come here to find a gift for Rizos, but now that she was seeing all this lingerie in front of her she couldn't help but take one of them. Who knows when it'll come to use. 

''I think both. I'll take one of these once I've made up my mind and then see what I'll get for my friend.''

''Alright, you'll need something in size S. Once you've found something you can go downstairs if you'd like. You'll find more things she might like, handcuffs, ropes, vibrators etc. On this floor you'll find costumes of all kinds. Let me know if you need anything else or ask my colleague downstairs, she'll be there for advice as well.'' The woman gave her a kind smile before going back to the checkout for the other customers. 

Macarena looked through the diversity of stockings and garter belts until she finally picked a black lace set. Nothing could go wrong with that. Now she only needed something for Rizos and she could go back to her place to get ready for their weekend together. The blonde made her way down the stairs and was amazed by the amount of different toys that greeted her. She made her way through the rows and passed a wall of all sorts of whips, running her fingertips over the different materials and wondered what they would feel like on her own body. Would she be into this at all? Her thoughts slipped to the past, Armando had suggested handcuffs one day but Macarena hadn't agreed to it, not because she didn't like the idea of it, just not with  _ him.  _ She hadn't trusted him with her body nor her soul, rightfully so. But what if Zulema... 

_ Joder,Macarena! No! _

Her inner voice was already smacking the shit out of her for just  _ thinking  _ about Zulema in that way for just a second. She needed a toy for Rizos. Not a whip for Zulema to use on her. So the blonde made her way through the store until she finally found what she had been searching for. Strap ons. But which one should she take for them to try? Macarena had no experience with these things whatsoever and since Rizos had made it pretty clear that she wanted to wear one of these things once, Macarena had to make sure it was a size she would be able to take. She sighed, looking at the options she had and finally went for a black one that was simple, not too big, not too small. She could probably take that, even though the thought of having someone penetrate her with a toy never crossed her mind before, she didn't like it at all. But maybe Rizos wouldn't use it on her at all and let Maca take control instead... or she wouldn't use it on her at all. Who knows, maybe she was lucky enough.

Macarena grabbed the package of her choice and made her way to the checkout as she looked down at the box in her hand, busy analyzing what kind of models would voluntarily have their pictures taken with sex toys. She was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't even hear the cashier ask her a question. 

''Do you need a bag?'' Came a female voice again and its familiarity immediately sent chills down Macarena's spine. 

_ Oh no, oh no, oh no, NO NO NO. _

The blonde raised her gaze from the counter to the woman who was standing in front of her with a shit eating smirk on her lips. She opened her mouth to reply, but except for something that sounded like she had a frog in her throat, nothing managed to come past her lips. Of course Zulema would be working in a sex shop of all places. A fucking sex shop! 

''Is this your first time in a place like this?'' Zulema asked as her eyebrows disappeared under her black bangs before she leaned forward onto her elbows, the smirk growing wider. ''I highly recommend the last whip you were staring at for so long over there. The black one made of leather, matching the color of your lingerie and your strap.'' She continued as she scanned the barcodes and then turned her attention back to the still dumbfounded, highly blushing Macarena. ''Do you even know how to use this thing?'' Zulema asked in reference to the strap, but before she could add another question that made the blonde want to bash her head against the wall, Macarena turned around and almost ran up the stairs, leaving the store faster than Usain Bolt could sprint. 

* * *

On Sunday afternoon, Rizos and Macarena woke up after a long night of partying and beginning to celebrate the brunette's birthday. Maca had ended up in the next lingerie store where she bought two different sets of underwear, one for her friend and one for herself. She also hadn't mentioned Zulema to Rizos after that one asked her ' _ why in the hell she looked so confused and all over the place _ '. How had she been supposed to explain that?  _ Oh I just met Zulema in a sex shop where I wanted to buy a strap on.  _ Sure. So Maca had made up an excuse about how the party on friday was still in her bones and how she was starting to get too old for all of this. Rizos didn't look convinced but she had been too excited to count down the hours until midnight and she would finally be a year older. 

Once the clock had counted twelve, they both clinked their glasses together and went out to the next club where they met up with a couple of the brunette's friends and stayed until six in the morning.

Now that both of them were starting to wake up, Macarena felt dead. Not only had she been out and drinking two nights in a row, she also barely managed to get any sleep. Rizos however slept like a baby at night. Nothing could wake her up once she was asleep, not even Macarena sitting up straight in her bed, drenched in sweat after a foot met her stomach and sent waves of pain through her entire body over and over again. The final kick to her chin was usually the one to rip her out of the dream. It was robbing her nerves, but thanks to her acting classes she usually knew how to cover up how she was actually feeling. 

_ Yes, but not even the best actress can manage to keep a straight face forever, Maca. You know you're gonna break if you don't talk to anyone! _ Her own voice sounded through her head. 

''No, I won't.'' The blonde mumbled and got out of bed.

''What?'' Came Rizos' voice next to her, a sleepy look on her face as she turned over to look at Macarena.

''Nothing. Get your ass out of bed, we have a table in three hours and we still have to get ready for your fabulous birthday dinner Sharpay Evans.'' Macarena replied with a laugh and a motion of her head in order for Rizos to follow her into the bathroom. It was insane with this girl. On the outside she always seemed to be super cool and calm but when it came to her birthday, Rizos always wanted everything over the top. More glitter, more color, more everything. But they had already had that the previous night when Yolanda, Tere and Luna had come over. They had gone home around five in the morning and would join them again later at the restaurant. 

Macarena kept it simple, a blue dress, black heels and decent makeup except for her red lipstick. Rizos however was wearing a short black dress that was sparkling from the bottom to the top. 

'' _ Estefania.  _ We are going to a  _ restaurant,  _ not a night club!'' The blonde laughed as she fixed her hair into a high ponytail and left the bathroom. 

Rizos followed her to the bedroom, grabbing her phone to shove it into the silver clutch she would be taking with her and gave Macarena a grin, followed by a shrug. ''It is my birthday. I wanna stick out. Come on,  _ rubi. Vamonos!''  _

* * *

Half an hour later the five friends were sitting at a table in a restaurant that Yolanda had chosen. It wasn't exactly Sharpay style; no glitter, no pink table decoration nor loud music. But it was nice, most of the decoration was kept in black and gold. Rizos made a comment about how her silver clutch  _ 'didn't match the place's vibe',  _ but other than that she was happy and looking forward to having a nice evening with her friends before everyone would return to their daily lives again. 

It was the usual birthday dinner. They got their menus, picked a dish and had fun chatting about god knows what. They talked about Macarena's play, Rizos and Saray's past relationship, even Zulema's name dropped every once in a while. Macarena fooled everyone with her poker face when that happened, pretending to be busy cutting her vegetables or shoving a fry into her mouth. Yolanda. however, noticed the way that the blonde would flinch each time she heard the woman's name. When Macarena left for the bathroom eventually, Yolanda asked about it and within the five minutes that Maca was gone, her whole disastrous Tinder story was blurted out in front of the whole table. It would have been a surprise if half the restaurant hadn't heard it. 

When the blonde got back to the table, everyone was looking at her with a knowing smirk on their face. 

''Tell us,  _ rubita,  _ is she good in bed?'' Luna asked, the grin on her face growing bigger by the second. Macarena almost choked on her water.

'' _ Perdon?  _ Who are you talking about?'' Macarena asked after she collected herself and looked around the faces.

''Zahir,  _ carino.  _ Spill. I saw you coming out of that sex shop where she works at last night when I was on my way to buy Rizos her gift.'' Yolanda explained and laid her chin onto her palm, waiting for the blonde to give an answer. 

''I-...'' Macarena shook her head. If looks could kill, Rizos would have been a dead woman. ''I did not sleep with her. I don't know what exactly Miss Kabila here told you but we just danced, nothing else. We didn't kiss, and we certainly didn't fuck.'' 

''And the sex shop?'' Tere asked before quickly shoving the last piece of meat into her mouth. 

''Well, I had the same mission as Yolanda. Buying our Estefania a birthday gift. But I didn't find anything nice so I left.'' Macarena lied and drank the last sip of her water. Not everyone seemed to be satisfied with that answer but the decided to shut up and not ask further questions. They knew Macarena well enough to know when to annoy her about certain things and when not to. This was one of the topics they sensed was quite sensitive for whatever reason. Rizos wasn't having it though.

''I think you like her. I saw your face when you two were dancing.” She said and gave Macarena a look that said ‘ _ I know what you did there.’  _ except she had no clue at all. The only thing she saw was Zulema and Macarena dancing after coming back from her make out session with this chick. 

“This bitch turned you on like crazy, Maca!'' The brunette said laughing, but the hint of jealousy in her voice didn't slip past Macarena. 

Before the blonde could add anything else, a waitress approached the table and Macarena froze in her seat. How the  _ fuck  _ was this possible? Was this woman following her?

''Sorry to interrupt your chatter about me, but my colleague said you wanted the bill?'' Zulema asked and looked at the five faces in front of her. Three of them with an insane amount of amusement written on them, one giving her the most disparangly look she had ever seen in her life, and the last one was a mixture of shock, desperation and shame. ''Are you all paying together or separately?''

''I'm paying.'' Macarena mumbled and got up from her seat to follow Zulema to the front counter to proceed the payment while her friends left the place and waited for her outside. She awkwardly held the purse in her hand while Zulema was tapping the prices into the computer, hoping she wouldn't notice the red color that was flushing into her cheeks by the second. But of course she did.

_ ''Tranquilla, rubia.''  _ Zulema mumbled, having her eyes still on the screen before looking at the blonde and giving her a soft smile. ''That's 130,50, please.'' 

Macarena took three 50€ bills and handed them to the other woman, trying to gather some of her confidence back as she asked the question that was burning inside of her. ''Sex shop on saturdays and restaurant on sundays? What are you during the week? A stripper?''

''Yeah you would like to see that, wouldn't you?'' Zulema smirked as she took the money out of the blonde's hands and pretended to shove it into her bra, earning a little laugh from the younger woman. “I do what I can to pay the bills, only one of these jobs is definitely not enough of a paycheck.” She said, offhandedly. Of course, she wouldn’t go into detail about how these are the only jobs she could find that would hire her being an ex con, still unaware of the blonde being onto her past. Why was she explaining herself to this woman anyway? 

“You should start a workers’ union.” Macarena joked, more at ease now by the brunette’s presence. Zulema chuckled. “Nah, I’d rather be a stripper. Less of a headache.”

Zulema finally handed her the change and looked down at the next order she'd gotten. 

“Gotta go, Rubita. Duty calls.” 

Zulema was just about to turn around and leave, when the blonde interrupted her, surprising the brunette and herself at the impulsive idea she was about to act upon.

''Zulema… I-” Macarena tightened her hands together unconsciously, averting her gaze for a moment under the other woman’s scrumptious watch. Was she really about to follow through with thisidea that came onto her? Her mind flashes back to Armando and the night of the infamous party, and just like that, the second guessing went away. She takes a deep breath and starts again. “Okay, I know this is a little straightforward and I know you're working so I can't give you much explanation for this and I know this is a lot to ask for and-'' Macarena was rambling, if she continued like this, Zulema wouldn't understand a word she was trying to say. So the blonde took a deep breath, collected all the strength she had to ask the brunette the following question and tried to seem as sane as possible while she was about to propose the most insane thing of all.

''Could you... live with me for the next four weeks? Armando bought this shit about you being my girlfriend and he is staying and- I will explain this to you with all details later but... I really need your help.'' Macarena stuttered, tugging her bottom lip between her teeth when she was done talking and looked at Zulema who was visibly amused.

''You're asking me to move in for four weeks? We only had two dates so far, no? Is this how lesbian relationships work?'' She asked in a teasing tone. Maca’s expression, however, was far from one of someone who could take a joke right now.

Macarena rolled her eyes, already regretting that she asked this woman such a question. ''I'm not asking you to stay forever. Just a month.''

''What's in it for me?''

'' _ Joder, Zulema.  _ What do you want? Money?'' The blonde pulled another two 50€ bills out of her purse, holding them in front of the woman's face, desperation forming on her own.

''Maybe...'' Zulema tilted her head, pretending to be thinking. ''Breakfast in bed and sex every friday night? You'd be my girlfriend after all. We could use that strap you were so interested in yesterday, oh and let's not forget about the whip!''

The blonde huffed, shaking her head at herself, running a hand over her head.  _ God Macarena, you’re so stupid. Did you really think she was some knight in shining armour?  _ ''You know what? Forget I asked.'' She hissed, her voice tempting to crack before she turned around and walked towards the exit.

Macarena’s pain hidden behind that sentence, however, didn’t go unnoticed by Zulema, who suddenly changed her mind being taken aback by this situation. The urge to protect the woman from whatever she was going through, growing. She wouldn't have asked her if this wasn't serious, she was a stranger after all. A very morally suspicious stranger, for that matter, and the blonde knew. If it wasn't that important, Macarena could have asked anyone else. But she came to her. Why? There must be a good reason. 

Besides, it sounded like an interesting proposition. There was no denying how much the blonde intrigued her and how Zulema felt drawn to her. So what was the harm? Maybe this would be fun.

'' _ Oye, rubia!''  _

Macarena turned around, waiting for another snarky comment to be thrown at her. But her face softened, her body and soul relaxing at the words that left Zulema's lips.

''Let's do this.''

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now what?


	7. interrogation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of abuse

The following Friday, five days after Macarena had asked Zulema to live with her for a month, moving day arrived. It was around two in the afternoon when Macarena heard the knock on her front door.

After her shift had ended, Zulema messaged the blonde on Tinder once more to ask for her number and after a couple of messages, she had gotten the woman's address and the time she should be at the given place. 

The past days had felt like forever, Macarena went insane from all the thoughts going through her mind, she had cleaned the apartment from the bottom to the top, gotten new sheets and rearranged half her furniture after leaving work early since she wasn't able to keep her focus. The thought about having to tell the other woman the reason for all of this made Macarena nervous, frightened even. She didn't know how Zulema would react, nor if she was gonna continue all of this or actually be able to help her. It was like playing with fire. 

A second knock on the door ripped Macarena out of her thoughts, reminding her that she had already made the decision a couple of days ago. She got up from the couch, walked towards the hallway and took a deep breath before opening the door, a soft pair of green eyes meeting her along with a slight smile. 

'' _ Hola, rubia. _ '' Zulema grinned as she walked past Macarena without awaiting her invitation and tossed her bag to the side as she made her way through the apartment. ''You've got a nice little place here. But I am sure you didn't invite me to show off how you're living. So,  _ dime,  _ why am I here?'' she asked and plopped down onto the couch, her elbows resting on her knees as she waited for Macarena to speak up.

The blonde who had closed the door a few moments ago now made her way towards Zulema, slowly stepping closer until she sat down on the other side of the couch, facing the woman and gathering all the strength she had for what she was about to tell Zulema.

''Before I tell you everything, you need to promise me to let me finish. Don't make snarky comments or make fun of anything. I am already struggling to tell you this without having to deal with your attitude,  _ vale? _ '' Macarena asked and gave the other woman a questioning look.

Zulema would've loved to fire back and tell the blonde that it had been  _ her  _ who asked her to live in this place for a whole month, but instead, she just shrugged her shoulders as she rolled her eyes and nodded her head to tell Macarena to continue.

And so, Macarena looked down at her folded hands, played with the sleeve of her shirt and opened up about her past to someone for the very first time.

''Four years ago, I lived in Malaga with Armando.'' 

_ My fiance. _

__ ''My boyfriend. We met back when I was in business. He needed a date for an evening at the opera with some of his colleagues from the company he works at. I already told you that I never slept with anyone for money but well, he booked me again. And again. And the third time it just happened and I broke the first rule of an escort. Never fall in love with your clients. My boss found out eventually and kicked me out. But Armando and I started dating and for the first months everything was perfectly fine, just the way you would describe a perfect relationship but...'' Macarena paused. Hesitation tempting to get the best of her, but if she didn't do this now, she would never do this. ''Well, it wasn't. Perfect I mean. It turned out to be far from that. A nightmare really. He wasn't prince charming nor the perfect boyfriend he-'' 

Macarena couldn't find the right words.

Zulema stood up to sit down next to the blonde, a small gesture of comfort as she looked at her before turning her gaze down to her hands as well, signaling Macarena to continue. She already had an idea where this would go.

''It started one year before we broke up. After a long day at work he wanted to relax and have a few drinks with his friends, which was okay for me. I was never the type of girlfriend to forbid him to hang out with his friends. So they went to a casino.'' Macarena continued, her voice beginning to get more quiet by the seconds, the words leaving her lips in a slower pace as if she hoped it would hurt less the longer she postponed it. 

Zulema had an idea of what happened. Macarena had mentioned something about him spending money at a casino at the bar the other night. This must be the full story.

''He spent all his savings that night. And of course he lost the gambling, so later on I was the one who had to help him out when the company he was working at was struggling financially. Since I was one of the highest requested escorts back then, I made a lot of money. The richest people from Spain wanted me. And he was my boyfriend.''  _ Fiance.  _

Macarena raised her head, tears were starting to form in her eyes, a lump in her throat making it harder for her to continue. But if she wanted Zulema to stay, she'd have to. She turned her head, met Zulema's eyes when a tear rolled down her pale skin as she continued. ''He came back in the middle of the night. Drunk. I was laying in bed half asleep when I heard a glass shatter in the kitchen, so I got up to see what was going on. Armando looked like a wild animal that had just escaped its cage. I wanted to check up on him so I approached him from behind to wrap my arms around him and... I guess I scared him or something. Next thing I knew I was laying on the floor, the shards of the broken glass inside of my arm.'' Macarena pulled up the sleeve of her shirt, revealing a few, small scars starting from right next to her elbow and stopping at her wrist. They weren't big, almost unnoticeable if you didn't know, but now that Zulema saw them, she wouldn't be able to not ever notice them again. 

''It was an accident... but it all went downhill from there. Whenever he got home drunk, he would take his anger out on me. Suddenly, I was responsible for everything, for the bankruptcy of his company, for the failure of our relationship, everything. Everything was my fault. And one day it escalated so much, that I ended up in hospital with a fractured jaw, two broken ribs and diverse bruises.'' Macarena's voice cracked, she stopped talking to run her hands over her face and swallowed hard in order to get some strength in her voice back. ''He promised me to change after that.'' The blonde sniffed, cleared her throat and looked at Zulema. There was more to tell, but not for now. This should be enough for Zulema to know why she had asked her for this, even if she didn't know everything from the first to last detail. The rest of the story was too painful to relive it again, let alone tell a stranger about it. After a minute, the silence that was settling between the two women was starting to get uncomfortable, so Macarena raised her eyebrows and looked at the brunette expectantly. ''So are you staying, or not?'' 

''Yes. Moving twice in one day is too exhausting.'' Zulema answered, giving the woman next to her a side smile that was softer than what Macarena was used to, but it calmed her nerves right away, her body visibly relaxed.

'' _ Gracias. _ '' The blonde mumbled, smiling right back at Zulema before getting off the couch with a sigh. ''Alright, I am leaving for work in three hours so let's get you settled in here and set a few basic rules,  _ vale?'' _

''Sure, whatever the lady of the house wants.  _ Dime. _ '' Zulema rolled her eyes and followed Macarena to the back of the apartment. 

''Here's the bathroom, I need it from 10:30am to 11:00am. 11:30am if I shower before work. I leave for work at 12:30 and come back home between 9:30pm and 10pm so you will have the apartment to yourself in the meantime.'' Macarena explained as she showed Zulema around her place. ''Any questions?'' 

Zulema leaned against the doorframe, eyeing the living room before looking back at Macarena and arching her brows ''Yeah, what does anything of that have to do with me?'' 

The blonde blinked a few times, turning her gaze away from Zulema before shrugging her shoulders. It didn't have anything to do with her at all. ''I am going to make some space for you in the drawer so you don't have to live out of a bag, but you'll be sleeping on the couch, I got new sheets for you. ''

Zulema pursed her lips, pretending to pout and be utterly devastated. ''Too bad, I thought we were gonna fall asleep spooning every night like couples do.''

Macarena rolled her eyes, though the thought of Zulema's arms wrapped around her was tempting, or rather wrapping her own arms around the brunette's body-

_ Enough. _

''Sorry to disappoint you. We're fake dating. Everything we do inside of this apartment won't matter. We'll just have to pretend once we're outside. I don't know where Armando is staying, nor how far he is willing to go to get me back. His messages were pretty clear when he texted me yesterday, he has no intention to leave Madrid without me. But maybe once he realizes I am off the market he will leave me alone for good.'' Macarena said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest and leaned against the doorframe on the opposite side of Zulema who was nodding her head but still waiting for the blonde to actually set up a rule.

''Anyways, rule number one: no smoking inside of the house.'' 

''You've got to be kidding me.''

''No. If you wanna smoke, do it outside.''

Zulema rolled her eyes, she would just agree on this. As long as Macarena was out of the house she wouldn't notice anyways. '' _ Pues vale, que mas princesa?''  _

''Do not call me princess.''

''Is that a rule or a plea?'' 

Macarena glared at the woman in front of her. She wasn't sure if she could handle this attitude of hers for a whole month, but what other option did she have? 

''What else,  _ rubia?''  _ Zulema asked expectantly, opening her arms and tilting her head to the side. But no answer came, not immediately anyways, and when the blonde finally spoke again, she surely didn't say anything that Zulema expected.

''That's it. Just don't smoke inside, please.'' Macarena pushed herself off the doorframe, almost feeling the deathly glare Zulema was giving her back as she walked towards the kitchen to make them lunch. ''I hope you're hungry, I'm making a casserole.''

* * *

''You're a terrible chef, I hope you know that.'' Zulema mumbled with a mouthful of potato gratin, making a grimace as she chewed and picked up a few more  __ pieces.

Macarena chuckled, swallowed her food and nodded her head as she reached for her water. ''Yeah I know, horrible. That's why you've finished half your plate before I'm even close to having eaten up.'' The blonde said and took a sip of the liquid.

''You're just a slow eater.'' Zulema protested, pointing her fork at the woman on the opposite but eventually smirked and paid her attention back to her food as she continued speaking. ''You know  _ rubia,  _ I was thinking. You said that you don't know how far Armando is willing to go, I mean I don't know this man at all but to me he seemed like a real prick. I don't know much about your past as an escort but he doesn't seem to be one of the good guys. Trust me, I know a criminal when I see one.''

Macarena kept on eating her lunch, not quite sure what Zulema wanted to tell her. She knew that this woman was an ex con, but she never found out why exactly she had been in jail.

''What I'm trying to say is, he doesn't play by the rules. And if you want me to help you, I'm gonna need to know a few things about you just in case.'' The woman explained, looking at Macarena before getting up to get a little more of what the blonde had cooked them. 

Maca bit her tongue grinning, of course Zulema liked the food. ''Well, ask along. What would you need to know?'' 

''Everything. He thinks we've been dating for around a year now, so I would know quite a lot. What's your favorite color?'' 

''Yellow. What's yours?''

Zulema looked down at her yellow socks and grinned at Macarena before sitting back at the table and eating her food. ''Black.''

''Black is not a color.''

''Shut up and eat your potatoes. What's your favorite animal?''

Macarena thought about that for a moment, chewing her mouthful of salad she had made and Zulema couldn't help but chuckle at the sight. This woman ate like a child, it was the second time they were eating together and the second time that the blonde had sauce smeared on her face. She reminded her of a squirrel with the way she was chewing and left crumbles of food everywhere along the process. 

''Squirrels.'' Macarena eventually answered.

By now, Zulema was laughing at the irony of the moment and was met with the sight of a very confused Maca. 

'' _ Que?'' _

_ ''Nada.'' _

_ ''Claro.  _ What's yours?''

''My what?''

''Favorite animal?'' 

Zulema shoved a piece of potato into her mouth before answering ''Scorpions.''

''Scorpions?'' Macarena asked doubtfully, Zulema nodded in all seriousness.

''Yeah. I love them.''

'' _ Pues, vale.''  _

''What do you like doing at home when you're alone at home?'' Zulema asked while finishing up her food and proceeding to put her dishes into the dishwasher.

''Why are you asking me things that don't matter?''

Zulema rolled her eyes. ''Macarena, I need to know things about you that I could only know if we were actually dating. So please, spare no details, or it's your loss. I am not the one trying to convince my ex I am 'off the market' to quote yourself. Think about it. In Armando's world, we are living together. So of course I would come home from time to time to you doing things you like to do when you're alone, so  _ dime.''  _ She said as she sat down in front of Macarena again.

''I usually practice singing or dancing in the free room across the hallway that I showed you earlier. But if I have a day off I like to read, I also watched one of those documentaries you were talking about the other day. It's interesting.''

Zulema nodded her head, a grin appearing on her face. Of course she did, seemed like their date didn't go too bad after all. ''What's your family like? Do they like me?''

Macarena huffed. ''Yeah they would have absolutely adored you.'' There was a small break and a switch of emotions on Maca's face. ''But it's just me. My brother and I stopped talking after I left Malaga without a word. I just packed my things and left everyone behind without looking back. And our parents, well... They died when I was in college. A car crash.'' Macarena explained and didn't fail to notice Zulema tense up at the last words. 

''I'm sorry to hear that.'' Zulema mumbled, the silence growing heavy between them. “I guess life isn’t just full of good surprises. We all have a story to tell.”

Macarena nodded her head, looking at Zulema with a soft curiosity on her face. She wanted to know more about her. “What’s your story?” 

Zulema chuckled lightly. “Mine? I was in jail for a few years, now I’m out and having lunch with a cute blonde I met on Tinder.”

Macarena instantly fought a smile that was tempting to crawl upon her lips. “You think I’m cute?” She asked and let the little smirk appear anyways, close enough to be interpreted as a tease by the woman on her opposite. 

“Is prison that uninteresting to you?” Zulema replied in surprise at Macarena not making a smartass comment about it. “I just told you I was in jail and  _ that’s  _ what got your attention?” 

The blonde shrugged her shoulders, clearly unbothered by the reveal. “I kind of knew already. Rizos told me.” 

Zulema stayed silent for a second, a hand coming to run over her chin before a chuckle left her lips. “Good to know you guys talk about me, quite a lot how it seems.” Before Macarena could protest, Zulema had already cut her off. “So. Did your clients ever try to kiss you?”

_ Wow, what a change of topics Zulema.  _ Macarena thought to herself, but she wasn't able to fight the chuckle that parted her lips. ''Yeah, of course they did. I already told you that some of them needed me as an alibi, and well, when you're fake dating someone, you sometimes have to kiss that person.'' The blonde regretted her words the second she had spoken them once she saw Zulema’s face turn into an amused one, one of her brows arching up to show her sparked interest while the corner of her mouth curled up into a mischievous smirk, pouting her lips right after as if she was planning on doing something.

''Good to know.'' Came the answer from the brunette sitting in front of her after she had rested her chin on her hand and Macarena wished for nothing less than the floor opening up and swallowing her as a whole. 

''We're not gonna kiss, Zulema.'' She simply said to clear up the mess she made. But it didn't work, of course it didn't.

''I didn't say I wanted to kiss you.'' Zulema replied with raised brows, watching Macarena as she brought the glass to her lips before asking the next question. ''What do you like during sex?''

The blonde, once again, almost choked on her water. For some reason, Zulema always found the best moments to rip her out of her comfort zone and choke on something that was currently inside of her mouth. 

'' _ Perdón?'' _

''Do I need to explain to you the concept of this conversation again?'' 

Macarena sighed frustratedly, she should have known it would get down to the sex questions eventually. Of course Zulema had to know, Armando wouldn't hesitate to ask the brunette such things. In fact, it would probably be one of the first things he'd ask her. If she wanted this to work out she'd have to tell Zulema  _ everything  _ that Armando would know, one day or another. 

''I like when the person I'm sleeping with doesn't make it all about himself.'' Macarena spoke, taking another sip of her water when Zulema looked at her as if she had just told her the most unimpressive story she'd ever heard in her life. 

''Well, yeah no shit. But you and I both know that this is not what I meant. If you're too prude or uncomfortable to openly talk about sex, just answer the following questions.'' Zulema purred, gazing into Macarena's eyes to make sure the blonde was listening to her well when she started asking. ''Vanilla?''

''No.'' 

Zulema smirked. ''Do you like it rough?'' 

''Yes.'' Macarena replied with a steady voice, her eyes never leaving Zulema's. She couldn't let this woman know she was intimidating her, and she was doing a pretty good job at hiding that. 

''Choking?''

''Yes.''

''Spanking?''

''Occasionally.''

''Toys?''

Macarena glared at Zulema. She knew exactly what the brunette was referring to. ''You already got your answer to that a few days ago, didn't you?'' 

''Not exactly, no. I only saw you wanting to buy lingerie and a strap. Then at Rizos' little birthday celebration I heard your friend saying you came to our shop to buy that gift for  _ her _ . Not for yourself... so how would I know?'' Zulema asked, innocent as ever, gaining another huff from the other woman.

''Well, I've never tried anything.'' Macarena gave as a final reply and stood up to get her dirty dished into the machine as she was met with a final question.

''Would you be opposed to trying?'' 

''I have to go.''

And with that, Macarena grabbed her bag from the hallway and left for work.

* * *

While Zulema was doing god knows what in her apartment, Macarena entered the room where her students were already waiting for her. 

''Hello there! Sorry I'm late but I got held up. Good to see you're warming up already, I'll do one more song with you and then we can finish up the choreography, starting where we left off last week!'' Macarena called into the room, meeting Lidia's eyes with a gentle smile before stripping off her jacket and changing into her dancing shoes. While her students gathered in four rows, ready to follow Macarena's steps, the blonde woman set up the speaker and connected her phone to it before pressing the 'play' button and her warm-up playlist echoed trough the room. ''Alright, we're just gonna do some more stretching now, I assume you've already done the rest. Follow along!'' Macarena added before turning up the volume to get lost in her world again and let the music take over her senses.

_ Desnuda, este tejido dorado _

_ hasta donde alcance mi mano _

_ volveré a susurar a tu lado _

_ somos un nuevo invitado _

Macarena got down onto the floor, sitting on her knees before bending backwards completely, the muscles of her abdoman flexening at the movement while her arm reached backwards. She held the position, a quick glance backwards reassuring her that her students were following along. 

_ Devuélveme el aire _

_ que te has acercado _

_ agárrame el pelo _

_ attraviesame nadando _

The song went on, lulling Macarena into its rhythm that made her body obey to every single movement. While she was streching her limbs, feeling the way her muscles tensed and relaxed, a thin film of sweat eventually formed on her skin. 

Everyone spent the whole duration of the song copying Macarena's movements. They all knew this was the only part of class where the blonde stopped being a teacher and just let herself go, Macarena never talked to anyone during the warm-up, she stood in the front and let her students copy her movements.

When the song was over, Macarena alost felt like waking up from a trance. She opened her eyes and took a deep breath, letting the oxygen flow through her lungs and fill her senses again before she got up from the floor and turned off the music. While everyone else started chatting for a moment, one of her students approached her, a gentle smile on their face.

''Miss Ferreiro?'' The female spoke and got her teacher's attention.

''Natalia you know you can call me Macarena.'' The blonde said with an equal soft smile. ''What can I do for you?''

''I was wondering about the artist of the song that you just played. I recognized her voice from a couple of previous songs you've played in the past few weeks. This woman has an insane amount of emotions in her voice, it is so beautiful, who is she?'' Natalia asked curiously.

Macarena's smile widened, she loved when other people liked the music and artists she was listening to. Music had always been something so important in her life that it was more than refreshing to meet someone with equal interests.

''The fun thing about this woman is that no one knows who she is. Nobody has ever seen her face, she's never given interviews. She only releases a new song here and there from time to time but that's it... I think she tells her stories through her music.'' Macarena explained before reaching for her bag and pulling out an album whose cover was all black, the only contrast was a small, white symbol printed in the top right corner. She handed it to her student, her thumb brushing over the little symbol in the corner. ''Take it home with you and experience this album, you can give it back to me tomorrow after our open rehearsal.''

Natalia eyed the album in her hands, turning it over to see if she could find a name, but there was nothing. ''Why does this not have a single letter on it? Not even the songs are written on the cover.''

''She calls herself ' _The_ _scorpion'''_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sapphiccivantos on twitter xx


	8. lust, eroticism, sex (crave me. watch me. touch me.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the longest chapter so far, you're in for quite a ride with this one.  
> and even though the title gives quite a bit away, remember that in this story nothing is what it seems xx

**_lust_ **

_noun;_ _usually intense or unbridled sexual desire_

_i.e: crave me_

* * *

Macarena entered her apartment quietly, she came back home later than usual. Rehearsal had taken longer than usual as she had to go over certain steps again with a few students and afterwards they had spent at least half an hour chatting about ' _The scorpion'._ It was past midnight by now and Macarena didn't know if Zulema was asleep yet, she didn't want to wake her up, but when she saw a light from under the bathroom's door she knew the other woman was still awake. 

''I'm home!'' The blonde called, without getting an answer. It was then that she heard a soft voice humming a melody she wasn't familiar with. She set her bag down onto the kitchen counter and with slow steps made her way to the bathroom until she could hear the words Zulema was singing.

'' _Y dejas que corra, no estas a mi lado, me alcanzas, yo gano, te callas, me callo, y hago lo correcto en el lugar equivocado.''_ Sounded the woman's voice through the room.

Macarena frowned, something about her voice sounded insanely familiar and after a couple seconds more, it finally hit her. Her head shot up and she stared at the bathroom door, everything hitting her all at once. 

It was _her._ The woman whose music had inspired her choreographies for years and gained her some of her most successful performances was _right there._

''Oh my god...'' The blonde mumbled to herself when the voice suddenly stopped singing and called out her name.

''Macarena? Are you back?''

''Yeah, it's me! I called for you a few minutes ago but I guess you didn't hear me. When will you be done there? I need to take a shower!'' Macarena called back.

''Not for much longer, _rubi._ Give me ten minutes!''

The blonde turned away and walked towards her bedroom, her thoughts full of Zulema singing. It was insane how life played its cards. Maybe, just maybe Zulema had entered her life for more reasons than one. Maybe... god, how badly she wanted to ask the woman about so many things, she had so many questions. But Macarena figured it would be best to not confront her just yet, from what she knew about the brunette, it would probably scare her off and make her leave. There was a reason she kept her identity to herself. Zulema didn't want to be known or found.

Macarena was just laying down, lost in her own thoughts when a notification lit up her phone. Armando. She sighed and unlocked the device to read.

\- _I heard you have an open rehearsal tomorrow? I haven't seen you dance in ages, let alone teach someone your abilities. Can't wait._

She locked her phone again and pinched the bridge of her nose. This man was a worse pain in the ass than Zulema, and that was a hard thing to top. She really didn't know how she had managed to spend so many years with his man, let alone agreeing to marry him. Well, almost. But the fact that he would be coming to the rehearsal meant she would have to bring Zulema. Of course a supportive girlfriend would be in the audience... great. She would inform her about that during breakfast the next morning, there was no way this conversation would happen now. 

The door to the bathroom swung open, out came Zulema in an oversized black t-shirt, her towel dried hair smoothly combed backwards, no hints of makeup on her face. And she was still the most mesmerizing woman Macarena had ever laid eyes on. 

''The bathroom is all yours, I'm gonna head to the couch now. _Buenas.''_ Zulema said with a light smile on her face before heading towards the living room and leaving a smiling Macarena behind.

That one snapped out of her trance a second later. _Macarena, NO!_ She rolled her eyes at herself, this inner voice thing was starting to get on her nerves. 

She got up from the bed and grabbed her nightgown before getting into the bathroom where she was met with the heat of Zulema's shower... and her scent. Macarena knew this woman was slowly filling up her senses, they hadn't known each other for long, but it felt like Zulema had always been there in some way. She knew that they were only fake dating for the sake of getting Armando off her ass, but Macarena wasn't quite sure if she could actually resist her if it came down to it. 

Deep in thought about the raven haired woman, Macarena took off her clothes and got into the bathtub she occasionally used for a shower. She couldn't be bothered to take a bath each time, besides, she really didn't have the time for it. Especially not after rehearsal. Once the water was warm, Macarena put the shower head into its place and let the water run down her body before proceeding to wash her hair. 

In a different part of Macarena's apartment Zulema sat on the balcony, smoking her last cigarette of the day and was equally distracted by her own thoughts . Macarena was different from any other woman she has ever got to know. People who met her usually got scared off, either by her choice of clothes, her humor or her whole appearance in general. 

But Macarena was still there, asking for her help even. This blonde was so sure of herself, surely annoyed by her humor from time to time, but still there. And something told Zulema that wouldn't change. 

She took a deep drag from her cigarette, let the smoke fill her lungs before blowing it out into the night sky. Zulema was no fool, the tension between her and Macarena was there, and with each time they met it grew heavier. Resisting temptation was not exactly one of her biggest treats. Especially not when she knew that said woman was currently in the bathroom.

_Naked._

Zulema finished her cigarette and stepped back inside, a singing voice ripping her out of her thoughts.

_''No eran buenas esas épocas, malos eran esos aires. Fue hace veinticinco años, y vos existías sin existir todavía.''_

Neither the melody nor the lyrics were familiar to her, but the angelic voice was more than enough to make one listen. Zulema chuckled, at least they had one thing in common; singing in the shower. Macarena really hadn't lied when she told her she could do it all. 

She didn't know what exactly had gotten into her, but before she knew, Zulema was inside of the bathroom, gazing at the woman whose naked back was facing her, drops of water seeming to run down her body in slow motion. She knew it was wrong to invade someone's privacy like that, but she couldn't help it. After a couple of seconds of staring more, Zulema made her way towards the sink to grab her toothbrush and put some toothpaste on it. Macarena didn't notice a thing until she suddenly heard water running from the sink which made her turn around and almost squeal. 

'' _Joder, Zulema! Que coño haces aqui?!''_ She hissed and instinctively moved her thigh forwards, her hands coming to wrap around her chest to cover up her body as much as possible.

'' _Tranquila._ You have nothing that I don't have on my own body.'' The brunette answered, beginning to brush her teeth before removing the object from her mouth again and with a mouthful of foam she mumbled ''I fo'ot o 'rush my eeth.'' 

_''Que?''_ Macarena didn't understand a word, maybe it was the lack of privacy or Zulema's sheer presence that stopped her brain from functioning properly, maybe both.

Zulema rolled her eyes, spit into the sink and repeated her previous words, over-exaggerating the enunciation ''I. Forgot. To. Brush. My. Teeth.'' 

''And you thought _now_ would be a good time to do that? You knew I'm in the shower!'' 

The brunette rolled her eyes and shrinked her shoulders, her arms opening into a shrug. Annoyance started to crawl up her features as she turned around towards Macarena who still stood with her back towards Zulema, only her head was turned into the older woman's direction. ''Should I wait until the princess is done with her procedure and it is past 2am? I'm tired. As you know I have been in jail and saw a lot of women shower, you're not special.'' And with that, she turned back to the sink and continued brushing her teeth.

Macarena couldn't believe this woman, she was so full of shit. The blonde shook her head at Zulema's reflection in the mirror above the sink with a huff. ''Unbelievable...'' She muttered to herself but got back to washing her body and eventually turning off the water.

Then there was silence.

Zulema had stopped brushing her teeth. Macarena could almost _feel_ the woman's piercing gaze on her back. She licked her lips, looked down at her body as she filled the silence with words. ''Did your mother never tell you it's not nice to stare?'' 

Zulema smirked to herself, putting her toothbrush back in its place and slowly turned around. Macarena didn't dare to move an inch. She stayed in her position, her hands resting against the cold wall in front of her while the brunette's steps got closer. She swallowed, her breath suddenly stuck in her throat. And just when Macarena thought the tension couldn't get any thicker, fingertips started running up the hollow of her knee. 

_Fuck._

''And didn't I already tell you...'' Zulema whispered, her fingers slowly running up the blonde's thigh before coming to dig into soft flesh in a tight grip which gained her a gasp from the woman above. ''... that I don't do _nice?''_

Before Macarena knew what was happening, Zulema's hand was gone from her body, although the burning sensation it left on her skin could easily be mistaken as the woman's touch itself. The only contrast to the heat on her thigh were the chills consuming her whole body, though she was unsure whether those were the consequence of the moment, or rather the lack of the water's heat.

The door closed behind the raven haired beauty, and after Macarena finally remembered how to breathe again, her forehead fell against the wall with a thud and a noise leaving her body that could have easily been mistaken as a moan of pleasure and not relief.

And it was loud enough for Zulema to hear it on the other side of the door.

* * *

**_eroticism_ **

_noun; sexual desire or excitement - the quality or character of being erotic_

_i.e: watch me_

At around 10am the next morning, Macarena woke up to a loud noise coming from the kitchen. With a long groan, she ran her hands over her face before sitting up straight on her bed and stretching her still sleeping limbs. She wasn't mentally prepared for the rehearsal today. Physically, she sure was, but the thought of Armando sitting in the audience and watching her doing the thing she is the most passionate about, seeing her in the most vulnerable state, made her more than uncomfortable. 

_At least Zulema is going to be there._

Macarena rolled her eyes at herself, internally cursing her inner voice that wouldn't stop babbling about her new roommate. Or fake-girlfriend, whatever one would call it. 

_Yes, Zulema is going to be there and she's gonna watch the opening number and then what?!_

The blonde sighed. No, she definitely wasn't ready to start this day.

Macarena got out of her bed, fixed her white nightgown and opened the door of her bedroom before making her way towards the kitchen where a wide awake Zulema greeted her with a cup of hot coffee.

''Good morning, sleepyhead. You look tired. I know you like to have your coffee with soy milk but we ran out. I can pass by the market later after my shift.''

Macarena answered with a yawn and a nod as she took the cup from the woman's hands and drank a small sip. 

''Thank you. I _am_ tired. The class ended later than planned last night and I still had to shower...'' She looked at Zulema, memories from the previous night flashing through her thoughts, the spot on her thigh Zulema had touched was already starting to prickle again. If the brunette noticed Macarena's gaze, she clearly didn't show. 

''Well, sorry to have woken you up but I really needed coffee. I've waited for three hours but I couldn't wait any longer.''

''No, no it's all good. I have an open rehearsal in a few hours that I need to prepare for anyways.'' Macarena shrugged it off, and after a small break she added ''Speaking of... you have to join me. I received a text last night after you went to bed, Armando is going to be there, so I need you to come with me.''

Zulema raised her brows.''Really? You want me to come and watch you teach a bunch of wannabe ballerinas how to dance?'' 

''I've figured you don't like theater during our first date but... yeah that's exactly why you're here. I wouldn't ask you if he hadn't told me he would be there.''

''What if I'm at work?''

''Knowing Armando... he probably already figured out what you do for a living and your working schedules. This guy doesn't know any limits, he's a fucking psychopath.'' Macarena muttered bitterly and took another sip of her coffee.

'' _Pues vale,_ I'll join you then.'' Zulema sighed and turned towards the fridge. ''Do you want something to eat?''

* * *

Two hours later both women had finished their breakfast after Zulema had insisted on making some for the two of them since Macarena ' _would most likely burn the house down in her current condition_ '. By now, the blonde had gotten ready for the day. She was already wearing her leggings and a sports bra like she always did. 

Zulema surely was good at keeping her eyes away from Macarena's body if she had to, though whenever the younger woman wasn't watching she couldn't help but steal a glance.

''Zulema are you listening to me?''

'' _Que?''_ The brunette hadn't noticed she zoned out for a moment, her eyes snapped back to the blonde who was currently waving her hands in front of her.

''I just explained you how smiling works.''

''I know how smiling works.''

''No. This is not smiling, Zulema.'' Macarena said as she imitated Zulema's typical smug grin and the brunette couldn't help herself from actually starting to laugh at the sight. 

Macarena met Zulema's eyes with a smile that widened until her dimples were showing and she was chuckling as well. ''There you go. Do that more often. It suits you better than sarcasm.'' She said in a soft, genuine tone.

''One would almost think you're flirting with me, _rubita.''_ Zulema gave Macarena a wink. ''Nothing suits me better than sarcasm though.''

''Whatever you say.'' The blonde rolled her eyes. ''But if we want this to work out, you have to pretend you're in love with me. You can't sit in the audience and boo me.''

''Which is why you're trying to give me acting classes now?''

''Stop being so frustrating. Let me do what I can do best.''

''Which is, according to you, pretty much everything?''

'' _Zulema!''_ Macarena whined. This woman and her god damn attitude. She glared at Zulema with the most serious expression she had, but the challenging grin on the brunette's face got another chuckle to bubble up in her belly, and eventually, it came to the surface and Macarena had to turn away when she actually started laughing. ''I can't deal with you.''

''You're not the first one to tell me that. Come on, turn around and try to teach me how to look at my girlfriend while she teaches.'' Zulema surrendered and watched the blonde turn around slowly, the smile still spread across her lips.

'' _Vale.''_ Macarena stepped in front of Zulema and pointed at her eyes. ''The most important thing is your eyes. They tell more than a fake smile could ever do. So when you look at me while I'm dancing for the opening for example... there has to be admiration. Look at me like you would look at someone you love, someone who turns your world upside down... a person...'' Macarena's gaze fell down to Zulema's lips ''... you want to kiss as if your life depends on it.'' Her eyes came back up to see that the brunette's gaze had done the same thing Macarena had just done. Fallen to her lips.

She took a deep breath, wet her lips with the tip of her tongue before bringing a finger to Zulema's chin, tilting it up. ''My eyes are up here.'' She whispered when the brunette's eyes locked with her own again.

Zulema lifted her chin in order to get Macarena's finger off her face and squinted her eyes just a little bit. She didn't know if the look on the blonde's face was genuine, or if she was acting and demonstrating the look she wanted to see on her. 

''If you're acting right now, you're better than I thought you were...'' Zulema paused, watched the glimpse of confusion appear on Macarena's features before continuing to talk. ''If you're not... your little heart is in danger, _rubia._ '' 

Macarena let her hand sink down, her eyes however, stayed locked with the green ones in front of her.

''Thank you. You were distracting me with that.'' Zulema pointed at the blonde's hand before turning her back on Macarena and heading to the bedroom to change into her cargo pants and a simple black shirt. ''Come on, let's go so you have enough time to warm up before the audience arrives!''

* * *

Soon enough, Macarena and her alibi girlfriend arrived at the theater. While Zulema saved herself a seat in the second row, the blonde went backstage where she put her belongings and tied her hair into a ponytail. When she got back to the stage a few minutes later, the first students had already arrived.

Zulema watched the people filling the room carefully, analyzing them by their body language. It was easy to tell who of them was someone trustworthy and who wasn't. If prison had taught her one thing then it was to know everything about someone without having to talk to them much. 

There was one woman who seemed rather sweet, a ginger who had a very honest expression on her face without even knowing. Zulema could tell she was one of Macarena's favorites by the way she approached her; a straightened back, the smile on her face widening and a second later the blonde’s arms wrapped around the slim body tightly. 

Then another woman came in. At first sight, Zulema found her to seem just as sweet as the first one, but she wore her chin too high for Zulema's liking. No, something about that one wasn't right, she was probably the rat of the group. It wasn't until said woman took off her sunglasses that she knew why the brunette looked so familiar.

It was Lidia. 

The woman she first met at the party.

Zulema rolled her eyes, yeah of course she would be one of Macarena's _students_ of all possibilities. Which was strange, they seemed to be around the same age, but what did she know. 

Soon enough, the seats in the first row were taken and the second row started to fill as well. Zulema was quite surprised that the man who got her into this situation in the first place wasn't there yet. But as if someone had read her mind, someone plopped down in the seat next to her.

No one else than said man himself.

''I'm surprised to see you here.'' Armando said as he turned his head towards Zulema who tensed at the sound of his voice. After everything Macarena had told her, it took all her self control to not slit his throat on the spot. Instead, she put on her best sarcastic smile and kept her eyes on the stage where the cast of Macarena's dancing class had now gathered.

''Likewise.'' She mumbled before the lights turned off, the mumbling started to fade and everything was surrounded by complete darkness.

A moment later, a spotlight illuminated a part of the stage, shining directly onto a figure that was sitting on the wooden floor, her back facing the audience as a familiar melody started to sound through the speakers. Everyone else was gone, probably sitting somewhere backstage. 

It was just the woman sitting on stage who was slowly raising her upper body and at the sound of the drop, she spun her head around once. Enough for Zulema to see a part of Macarena's features. 

_Oh._

She hadn't known that she would be dancing for the opening. But what happened next, made Zulema freeze in her seat. 

_Seguiré la pista a ciegas y te encontrare_

_Alcanzare la altura, caerá en picado y te encontrare_

_Como un animal en un combate yo te encontrare_

_Sentí el viento en la cara, vi a los lobos pasar_

Her eyes widened and subconsciously, she leaned forward in her seat. That was _her_ song Macarena was dancing to. The blonde was moving to the song in a way that completely took Zulema aback, although she was just sitting on the floor, her movements told the story she was singing. She was moving like an animal, gracefully, elegant and slow. 

After the verse, the bridge echoed through the speakers and Macarena turned around, still on her knees as her hands sensually ran from her waist upwards, along her ribs until the back of her hands brushed over the skin on her cheeks. 

_Entre la oscuridad, intenté respira_

_Y me puse a temblar_

Then there was an instrumental part and Macarena slowly came to raise to her feet, her eyes scanning through the audience, her expression serious. She was in her element, and Zulema was completely mesmerized by the moment. 

As the song went on, Macarena showed her body's best abilities. From her flexibility to her way of embodying a song just by her movements. 

Zulema still couldn't believe that the blonde was doing all of this to one of her favorite songs she had ever written and she momentarily wondered if Macarena knew it was her voice. But then again, they barely knew each other nor did Zulema ever sing in public or showed her face in a music video or an album cover. So how could she possibly know?

Her eyes didn't leave Macarena's body for a single second. Until...

The blonde who had her eyes closed for a short moment, opened them again and stared directly at Zulema. And suddenly, time was relative. A concept made up by the human being to give things structure. The already blurry line between yes and no that existed between the two women was now vanished entirely. 

Macarena's lashes fluttered before she turned her gaze away and got back onto her knees, slowly sinking into the starting position. She bent backwards, the muscles of her stomach tensing, it was a sight Zulema probably wouldn't be able to forget. 

Then the song was over.

Everyone started clapping, but Zulema was still too shocked. She leaned back into her seat, finally turning her gaze away and running a hand over her face.

Armando seemed to notice since he leaned to Zulema, still clapping as he talked. ''I know, she's breathtaking, isn't she?'' 

Zulema didn't answer. She just stared back at the stage now that the whole room lit up and a breathless Macarena was smiling and taking a bow. 

One of the stage assistants came to give her a microphone that was stuck to her head in order for her to still be able to move freely while explaining what she was doing. 

''Hello, my name is Macarena Ferreiro and I'm the woman in charge of this play. But I assume most of you already know that.'' She gave the audience a gentle smile, continuing to talk as her students slowly filled the stage. ''What you just saw was an opening I choreographed a few years ago. It was the one thing my students had to learn for the audition for this play. It is not a complex choreography, but very challenging and I knew I would only have the best of the best for this play. And well, here they are.'' Macarena turned around, her hand presenting the women behind her while the audience started clapping again, she eventually joined. 

''What you're gonna see today will be a choreography that I've planned and taught for the past year, it's not perfect yet. We're obviously keeping that for the finale. But for those of you who are interested in theater and dancing, lean back and enjoy. And who knows, maybe I will see some of you applying for a role in my next play.'' Macarena finished and turned around towards her students and so the rehearsal began. 

The first forty minutes were spent with simple warm ups to get their bodies ready for the exercise, the music was a mix between Zulema's and some upbeat songs. Zulema watched every single move of Macarena's body and the way she walked across the stage and analyzed each and every single one of her students. 

When the last tone of _Celoso_ echoed through the room, a slow melody started playing and everyone grabbed a partner to help each other stretch. 

Everyone but Lidia.

She usually paired up with Alina, but she was too sick to show up at the rehearsal that day, so while everyone sat on the floor across their partner, Lidia found her spot on the floor by herself. That was, until Macarena sat down right in front of her and reached out for her hands. 

It went without explanation that Macarena would help Lidia. She sure was able to do all the exercises on her own, though it was easier to have someone to push your body into the right positions every now and then. Which was exactly what Macarena did. 

As their stretching song sounded through the room, all students sat on the floor across from their partner, legs spread as far as they could, bending from side to side, holding their partner’s arms as they pulled them forwards until the tip of their nose would hit the floor. 

Zulema watched the flexible bodies with much amusement. A lot of these girls were so thin she was afraid they would break if they moved an inch further to the floor. She herself wasn’t exactly flexible, not as much as the little ballerinas on stage anyways, but it was enough to kick someone’s face if necessary. Zulema was just wondering when this boring exercise would be over when Macarena and Lidia suddenly grabbed her attention. 

The way Macarena was handling the brunette was different, she didn’t touch her other students like that. The average observer most likely wouldn’t have noticed, but Zulema was a pro at observing and noticed the moments when the blonde’s hand would rest on Lidia’s body just a little too long, or the stolen glances when she thought no one was watching. Something had definitely happened between the two of them… they had either been in a relationship once, or had hooked up. But the way Macarena was looking at her wasn’t exactly how a teacher would usually look at her students. 

But before Zulema could keep analyzing their body language and finish the puzzle of their relationship, the song was over and everyone got back up to get into position for their main choreography. 

‘’What you are going to see now is the second half of the finale’s choreography. For now, I won’t be singing since I want to use this rehearsal to fix last flaws which will need all my attention. This dance won’t make much sense to you since no one has seen the whole play yet, but once you come to see the play I promise it will all make sense. So for now, just lean back and enjoy my girls’ talent. ’’ Macarena announced to the audience before putting on the song she would be singing as her students danced. 

The playback filled their senses and just like Macarena, the others let themselves go as they danced with their partners. But it wasn’t long until the blonde first interrupted them.

‘’Natalia, straighten your back and flex your muscles. You’re dancing, not relaxing on the couch. Sofia, arm around Lisa’s waist. I need to see that you crave her. Lidia, you’re out of sync.’’ Macarena let them continue for another fifteen seconds before she cut off the music and walked towards her girls. ‘’I don’t know if you guys are nervous because we have an audience today or if the full moon is bothering you, but whatever it is, fix it. Right now I feel like I am teaching you the concept of tango for the first time. Last week I would have been able to present you to a big audience. Now, I would have embarrassed myself.’’ 

Zulema arched her brows. Macarena was feistier and stricter than she had expected her to be. Much different from the image of the innocent princess, far from that even. She watched as the blonde walked over to the woman that had interrupted their little heated argument in the bathroom the other day and squinted her eyes.

Macarena held out her hand to Lidia and led her towards the middle of the stage where her eyes scanned through the audience until they found Zulema’s. ‘’What I am going to show you now, is what I have shown my students the day we had our first lesson together. The basic concept of tango.’’ She walked behind Lidia as the rest of the women picked a spot on the sides of the stage where they would watch the two women. 

The music started playing again and Macarena brought both her hands to Lidia’s ribs, slowly sliding them down the line of the woman’s body until they came to rest on her hips where she abruptly grabbed a hold of them to spin Lidia around to face her. ‘’Tango is _lust._ ’’ The blonde started, taking the first step forward as her partner took one backwards for the beginning of the dance. ‘’Tango is…’’ She continued and slid one hand to Lidia’s lower back to support her weight as she leaned her body backwards, the other hand stroking from the woman’s stomach up until they reached the valley of her breasts. Macarena leans over Lidia, her lips almost close enough to meet the skin of her neck as she spoke ‘’eroticism.’’ Then with a quick pull, Macarena brings the other woman back up, joining their bodies together. Closely. Their thighs brush against each other, breasts press together and Macarena leans in once more, faintly brushing her nose against Lidia’s neck whose eyes flutter shut at the familiar feeling until the blonde’s lips meet her ear. ‘’Tango is sex.’’ She whispered, the only response being the brunette’s shaky breath. 

Macarena pulled back, agonizingly slowly, the song continued playing in the background. At this point not only Zulema suspected that there had been _something_ going on between the two of them in the past. It had also finally hit Armando. 

The blonde leaned in and for a brief moment, Lidia didn’t remember if this was also a part of the choreography and if she was really going to kiss her _right now,_ in front of everyone. But old habits die hard and almost involuntarily, Lidia’s eyes fell shut again and she leaned in just when Macarena was close enough to actually bring their lips together again after all this time. 

But it didn’t happen.

Instead, she heard Macarena’s voice through the speakers again. 

‘’See? Let your bodies speak.’’ The blonde let go off Lidia’s body, leaving a trembling mess behind as she turned towards the audience again and grinned. ‘’Body talk. Not mind talk.’’

* * *

Around two hours later, everyone was gone. Zulema was outside smoking one of her beloved cigarettes while she was waiting for Macarena. But instead of the blonde, she got a rather unwanted company. 

‘’She is mesmerizing when she dances, isn’t she?’’ 

Zulema turned her head and blew out the smoke, right into the man’s face just nodding her head in agreement. 

‘’You know, when I first saw you two together in the club I didn’t buy your bullshit.’’ Armando said while lighting a cigarette for himself. He took a deep drag, Zulema watched him for a moment before turning her attention back to anything but him. That didn’t stop him from talking nonetheless. ‘’But after I saw you looking at her back there, I am not so sure anymore. You almost looked like me when I saw her dancing for the first time.’’ Armando arched his eyebrows and scanned the woman in front of him up and down. ‘’Although I don’t know what exactly she sees in you.’’

Zulema chuckled and took another drag, letting the smoke fill her lungs instead of his words filling her mind. She turned her head and looked at the man, disgust washing over her face. 

‘’Well, surely not someone who leaves bruises on a woman’s body’’ 

Armando frowned. ‘’What did she tell you?’’

‘’Enough.’’

‘’What now, did Macarena bring up the old story of me coming home drunk and beating her up again? Let me tell you something, whatever she told you was a lie. She is an _actress._ And she is good at what she does, if you don’t watch out she will try ruining your life the same way she did with me. I came home drunk yes, but I never hit her. God, no. She disgusted me so much I wouldn’t have dared to touch her.’’

Zulema frowned. She finished up her cigarette and took a step closer, eyes locking with blue ones. She squinted them and tilted her head to the side, her voice steady and calm as she spoke. ‘’For someone who is so desperately trying to get this woman back you sure have a lot of excuses to leave her alone. And if Macarena was the liar you’re trying to make her look like, you wouldn’t have this bullshit excuse ready, I didn't even tell you what she told me. And the fact you knew exactly what she said only proves that you’re the one who’s lying here.’’ Zulema poked his chest and shoved him out of her way to make her way back inside and check what was taking Macarena so long. She would be late for her shift if the blonde didn’t move her ass out of there within the next five minutes. 

When she entered the room again, she was met with a sight that left her no choice but to stop in her tracks and lean against the wall, staring at Macarena who was currently dancing by herself. It wasn’t the choreography nor the song she had been showing to the audience earlier, it was even more tantalizing and erotic than the previous one. And the way Macarena was moving her body once again, well. Zulema couldn’t help herself from watching. 

The blonde’s back was facing her, her hips were swaying from side to side and her arms slowly ran over her waist, up to her neck until they were both raising in the air, her left hand hooked around her right wrist and suddenly the music was over. The only sound filling the room was Macarena’s heavy breathing. One second passed, two, three. Then the blonde whose back was still facing Zulema, broke the silence.

‘’Has your mother never taught you it's impolite to stare?’’

Zulema chuckled and pushed herself off the wall, making her way towards Macarena who now, finally, turned around to face the brunette and let her arms back down, watching as Zulema approached her. 

‘’How many times to I need to tell you, _rubita?_ ’’

‘’Yeah, yeah. You don’t do nice.’’

‘’Exactly.’’ Zulema grinned and looked the blonde up and down.

‘’You’re about as subtle as a gun.’’ Macarena bantered.

Zulema just shrugged her shoulders. 

The blonde shook her head and before she could think twice, her hand was already held out. ‘’Why keep staring if you can dance with me?’’

‘’ _Ni en pedo, rubia._ I don’t dance.’’

Macarena flinched an eyebrow. ‘’Are you scared?’’

‘’No. I just don’t like dancing.’’

Zulema got up to the stage, reducing the space between them to a minimum. 

‘’Then why did you come on stage?’’ Macarena whispered, and it was enough for Zulema to grab her waist and spin her around so they ended up in the same position as her and Lidia earlier.

Or rather, the same position as her and _Zulema_ back in the club past Friday. 

Although she should have expected something like this, Macarena’s breath hitched in surprise at the feeling of the older woman’s hands on her once again and she had even more trouble breathing when those exact hands traveled their way up her body, painfully slowly. 

‘’I came on stage to show you that I don’t like to dance…’’ Zulema mumbled behind the blonde as her hands slid down the slim body. ‘’But that doesn’t mean I don’t know how to, maybe you just need to freshen up my mind a little… what are the three things that represent tango again?’’ 

Macarena swallowed visibly. Zulema was challenging her, it would take all of her self control to keep her shit together. She inhaled deeply before straightening her posture and answering Zulema’s question. ‘’Lust…’’ Macarena mumbled, her voice less steady than she had wanted it to be. Her eyes fell shut when Zulema started moving her hand up her side, caressing every curve of her body on its way while the other kept its firm grip on her waist. 

‘’Continue.’’ Zulema simply said. Her right hand came to rest on Macarena’s shoulder, the other one was removed from her body and instead wiped her blonde curls to the side, exposing her neck. Macarena shivered. 

‘’Eroticism.’’ She whispered, eyes falling shut and just when the other woman ran her hand from her shoulder over to her chest, Macarena’s body gave her away. 

At least to herself. 

The undeniable sexual attraction between them grew heavier by the second, just like Macarena’s need to press her thighs together to stop the torturing throbbing between her legs. She knew that Zulema was waiting for her to say the last word, but as much as she tried, it wouldn’t come over her lips. 

So Zulema did.

She buried her face in Macarena’s neck, ghosted her lips over the pale skin until she reached her ear and whispered the word that set the blonde on fire for good.

‘’Sex.’’

Macarena’s head snapped to the side, her eyes meeting Zulema’s and for a brief moment, she was sure the brunette would fuck her right there, on stage. But in contrast to her expectation, Zulema let go of her and the moment was over.

‘’ _Vamos rubia,_ I have a job to attend. Unlike you I don’t come late to work.’’ She stated and walked towards the exit, leaving a dumbfound Macarena behind. 

* * *

**_Sex_ **

_Noun; sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse_

_I.e: touch me_

As soon as Macarena had closed the door to her apartment behind her, Zulema was gone and on her way to work. Macarena’s body was still screaming for attention, Zulema had managed to work her up to a point where she wouldn’t get any rest until she had gotten a very much needed orgasm. And since Zulema wouldn’t be back until later that day… she should probably go for it. 

Macarena pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and hesitated. It wasn’t until an hour of suppressing her own desire later that she looked around her apartment as if she was about to commit a crime. But her decision had been made, she needed the relief and if it wasn’t the brunette herself who would give it to her, she would have to do it herself. 

Besides, it has been too long since she touched herself anyways. She missed the feeling of her own touch, to get to know her body and the right spots more than anyone else. So the blonde closed her bedroom door after getting inside, took off her pants and changed into something more comfortable. She ended up wearing nothing but her black panties and a flannel shirt. 

A second later she finds herself in the bed. Saying that her body was trembling with anticipation would have been an understatement. But the fact that it was _Zulema_ of all people who had got her this worked up didn’t sit well with her, she wanted to think of something else. So Macarena grabbed her phone.

She had never really been a fan of porn, but it would do for now. Subconsciously she clicked on the first suggested video. Two lesbians, a blonde and a brunette that were sensually caressing and stroking each other’s bodies. No fake moans, no fake writhing. 

Macarena pushed her flannel to the side, one of her hands coming to her breast and started to stroke herself, slowly beginning to play with her now hardened nipple, just like the brunette did in the video. Her thoughts slipped to Zulema, suddenly wishing it was _her_ to finish what she had started earlier. A deep sigh parted her lips, almost in sync with the blonde in the video. 

It was ridiculous really, but Macarena was too busy touching herself to notice the given similarities. 

The video was getting more intense now and so was Maca’s touch on herself. The hand that had been busy stroking her breast now traveled across her stomach to stop at the hem of her panties, then slipped under the black fabric and finally touched her now very wet sex. A deep moan of relief sounded through her bedroom when she began to stroke her clit in circles, just like the brunette did to the blonde in the video, and if she closed her eyes, a very clear picture of another brunette appeared to her. 

Macarena’s fingers started moving faster, momentarily teasing herself to go inside as her mind got hazier and her attention slowly but surely drifting from the porn. 

In the end she loses the battle against herself and slides a finger inside of herself.

Her back arched and she dropped her phone to the side, instantly moaning and rolling her hips at her own touch. But it wasn’t enough friction, she couldn’t come like that. Macarena turned over, laying on her stomach and the additional pressure already pushed her closer to the edge. 

Her thoughts slipped to the other day in the sex shop when she was busy analyzing all different kinds of toys and wondering what it would feel like if Zulema used them on her.

_Zulema._

Macarena’s breath hitched and before she could suppress it, a long moan of utter pleasure left her as she entered herself with a second finger and picked up the pace. Her palm pressed against her clit and made her writhe on the bed. The movements of her hand started to pick up a fast pace, her eyes shut tightly, almost like she was trying to deprive herself of this one sense as much as possible for the others to get more intense. The things she needed to see were on her mind anyways. 

‘’Zulema…’’ The blonde moaned, her voice nothing more than a desperate whisper.

With the porn long forgotten, Macarena picked up the pace, the silence in her room now replaced by the sounds of heavy breathing, occasional, loud moans and her own wetness that was coating her fingers with each thrust. 

‘’Fuck… Zulema, faster!’’ She whined. She was close. Just a little more…

‘’ _Oye rubia,_ the market was out of-’’

Macarena’s eyes shot open and her hands froze immediately. 

Fuck. 

_Fuck, fuck, FUCK!_

She had been so busy that she hadn’t noticed the apartment’s door close, nor Zulema entering her bedroom. 

She was still panting but hiding her flushed face in the pillows. 

‘’Did I turn you on that much?’’ Zulema was leaning against the doorframe with her shit eating grin. ‘’Don’t stop on my account.’’

But Macarena didn’t dare to move an inch. Not until Zulema’s banter turned into an actual order. 

‘’ _Venga, rubia.’’_

And this time, Macarena couldn’t help it.

She turned her head, laying it onto the pillows so it was comfortable again and began moving her fingers once more, rather quickly picking up a fast pace again. Even though she would have rather died than admit it, the fact that Zulema was watching her turned her on even more. 

‘’Were you thinking of me?’’ Zulema asked and the response was immediate; a deep moan.

‘’I’ll take that as a yes…’’ She pinched her bottom lip and watched the writhing mess on the bed whose moans got louder by the second. ‘’Are you thinking of me right now?’’

Macarena was incapable of replying, she was close. Again. And it only took the sound of Zulema’s deep inhale to push her over the edge.

It was one of the best orgasms she had ever experienced with herself, the twitching of her muscles didn’t stop until her whole body hurt and a last deep breath was taken before her body collapsed. 

She felt Zulema approaching her, and felt the heat of the woman’s body when she got close; in contrast to the cold hand that came to wipe away the blonde curls that stuck to her forehead. Once again, Macarena thought this was it. She would finally kiss her. 

But once again, she was disappointed. 

‘’The market was out of soy milk.’’ Zulema whispered into her ear, then turned around and shuffled towards the kitchen after closing the blonde’s door shut.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	9. lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome back!
> 
> i just want to take a second to thank you all for reading this story and sharing your thoughts with me xx
> 
> now lay down and enjoy this chapter

The next morning it almost felt like nothing happened. Macarena woke up to the smell of fresh coffee, they both had breakfast together and casual smalltalk until Zulema stared at Maca for a little too long with her mischievous smirk.

‘’ _ Que _ ?’’ Macarena asked as she looked at Zulema over the edge of her mug.

‘’Well, when I asked you about the things you like to do in your free time you forgot to tell me you’re very much into touching yourself, no?’’

Macarena rolled her eyes at the comment ‘’Oh please, as if you don’t do that.’’ She mumbled into her coffee and took a sip.

‘’I don’t. But that’s not the point here, we were talking about you, not me.’’

The blonde set down the mug and furrowed her eyebrows. ‘’You don’t touch yourself? I highly doubt that.’’ 

Zulema chuckled, leaned closer to Macarena over the table and almost subconsciously, her voice dropped an octave deeper and sent a wave of arousal through Maca’s body. ‘’Well… I think that pleasure is better enjoyed as a two-person activity.’’ She reached out to brush her fingertips over the blonde’s arm, their eyes still locked. ‘’Don’t you think?’’

Macarena shifted uncomfortably, pulled her arm away and got up from the table. ‘’Let’s go to the store, We need milk.’’

* * *

When the fake couple got back to Macarena's- or well,  _ their _ apartment for now, they put the groceries onto the kitchen counter and started taking out the ingredients for dinner. Since Macarena considered Zulema her guest she had insisted on cooking that night. Even though the scorpion was a great chef, there was no way that Macarena would have her cook for them every single night.

''Are you sure this is a good idea, blondie? From what I've seen in your fridge the past few days you don't even seem to be able to make yourself a sandwich, let alone boil pasta or make a sauce without burning the house down.'' Zulema stated as she tossed a tomato into Macarena's direction who almost missed the vegetable and scoffed.

''I've been handling the kitchen very well so far. You seemed to really enjoy my casserole the other day.'' Macarena mumbled, more to herself than to Zulema as she turned around to the sink and began to wash the tomatoes she had just unpacked.

''That was not the question.'' Zulema replied, throwing the last tomato that hit the back of the blonde's head with a thud. The woman's hand immediately raised towards the spot the vegetable had bounced off from before turning around, a wet tomato in her hand.

''Stop throwing vegetables around the house!'' The younger woman complained and grabbed a banana from the bowl in the middle of the kitchen counter before throwing it against Zulema's chest. Zulema bursted into laughter, a deep, throaty sound that made Macarena's blood boil even more. She approached the older woman quickly, opening her mouth to make a huge scene about the waste of food and starvation all over the world when the fruit beneath her foot caused her to slip. Just when Macarena thought it was over for her and Zulema having another reason to laugh at her, two strong arms wrapped around her waist, holding the slim body tightly against her own body to prevent her from falling.

A thick tension started to build between the two women. Macarena was too busy staring into Zulema’s eyes to notice the sink that was tempting to overflow. Zulema slowly removed her hands from Macarena's body, her eyes not leaving the blonde's when she spoke. ''First; fruits aren’t the right things to throw as well, especially not bananas. You can slip very easily. Second; you might want to turn off the water before your whole floor is flooded.''

The blonde removed herself from Zulema’s body and without a word went over to the sink to turn off the water and fix the mess they had made.

The tension between them was growing heavier with each day that passed and she wasn’t so sure if it was a good idea to let Zulema wrap her around her little finger. She couldn’t give in to the temptation. This was supposed to be a four weeks thing. After that, Zulema would have just been someone she had a horrible tinder date with once. But after what had happened the night before, something had already changed between them. Of course Zulema was still her old teasing self but the tension that had been there since their first interaction in the bathroom at  _ El infierno,  _ had now increased to a maximum. 

‘’You are giving me a headache from thinking so damn loud,  _ rubia.  _ Relax.’’ Zulema said as she boiled some water and helped Macarena to cut the tomatoes.

‘’I’m not thinking anything.’’ Maca replied, busy preparing the sauce.

‘’You can’t not think.’’ Zulema replied and the conversation ended.

* * *

Around half an hour later both of them were sitting next to each other in the living room. Their knees were pulled up to their chests, plates with dinner on top of them and a glass of wine in hand

It had taken them ages to choose something to watch on tv, and once Macarena had given up and just agreed on watching whatever was worth Zulema’s time, the brunette had started the first episode of Sense 8 since neither of them had seen it before. 

It was all fun and games until they were around half an hour into the first episode and within the blink of an eye the whole atmosphere changed. 

Two women. Having sex.  _ With a fucking strap.  _

Macarena really had to make an effort to not spit out her food or choke on it in the first place. As if watching the scenario from afar wasn’t embarrassing enough, the perspective then changes to a close up and every single movement, such as the grip onto the belt, the rolling hips or the squeeze of the blonde’s breast could now be seen even more precisely. 

Macarena shifted on the couch and emptied her glass of wine before setting it onto the small table in front of them with a barely noticeable shaking hand.

Zulema watched the blonde from the corner of her eye and grinned to herself when she noticed that she had stopped chewing the food that had entered her mouth just a few seconds ago when the rainbow strap on tv was dropped to the floor. 

_ Soaking. _

‘’ _ Te gusta?’’  _ She asked and turned her head to face Macarena.

That was the second time Macarena almost choked on her food that day. She didn’t know if it was because of the wine or because of the fact that Zulema had just called her out but she felt her cheeks starting to burn which only added to the brunette’s amusement. 

For a moment, she didn’t answer and just stared at the tv, chewing her pasta in silence. But then the video paused and she rolled her eyes when she realized it was Zulema who had hit the remote’s button. 

‘’Why did you pause the episode?’’ 

‘’Because you’re like a child getting distracted by watching tv instead of eating up their food. It must be freezing cold by now.’’

‘’Yeah sure you’re concerned about my food, that’s why you paused.’’ Macarena scoffed.

‘’If you know the answer yourself then why do you ask?’’

_ Touche.  _

The blonde scowled at the pasta on her plate, then turned her head as well to meet Zulema’s gaze. 

‘’I was just surprised to see  _ this _ already. We are one episode in…’’ Macarena answered Zulema’s previous question. 

‘’Surprised? You looked curious to me.’’ The brunette grinned and put her own plate onto the table along with her empty glass of wine. 

The only reaction she got at that was a shrug of Macarena’s shoulders who paid her attention back to the television in front of them.

‘’Was that what you were so curious about when you were in the sex store the other day and spent fifteen minutes in front of the strap ons?’’

Macarena’s eyes found Zulema’s again, the familiar tension finding its way back and as if that question had flipped a switch inside of the blonde’s head and gained her a new personality, she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as her gaze fell down to the other woman’s lips.

‘’Maybe…’’ She mumbled.

Zulema pursed her lips with squinted eyes at the comment. She had expected Macarena to be as prude and defensive as usual, but apparently the sex scene and the glass of wine must have done something to her. But who was she kidding, she had caught Macarena getting herself off the previous night and gotten her to finish on her command. While she had been watching. It wasn’t really a surprise that the sexual tension had come back with a snap of her fingers.

Or rather the thrust of a strap.

‘’Are you also curious to know what it feels like?’’ Zulema asked, her voice nothing more than a husky whisper.

Macarena swallowed visibly, though she was trying not to show her arousal and repeated her previous answer in an even lower tone than the brunette’s. ‘’Maybe.’’

While wearing the same unreadable expression on her face, Zulema leaned into the blonde’s personal space until she was close enough for her breath to hit Macarena’s ear as she spoke ‘’I could show you.’’ 

When she leans back again to see Maca’s face she is met with a conflicted expression. Macarena was fighting herself, she could see it in the way she was looking at her, but Zulema also knew that if she reached between those thighs now, she would find nothing less than soaking wet panties.

‘’Zulema…  _ no vamos a follar. _ ’’ The blonde eventually mumbles, though it wasn’t very convincing. Her pupils had widened with desire so much that it was almost a plea for Zulema to fuck her. 

But instead of saying exactly that, the brunette just chuckled and got off the couch as her eyes scanned up and down the younger woman’s body. ‘’You know, it wouldn’t really mean anything. You’re curious, I’ll show you. Just like last night, you were turned on and I helped you to finish. Call it scientific curiosity. It is better to have your first time using a strap with someone who knows how to use it before you hurt anyone. I could teach you.’’ 

‘’How do you know it would be my first time?’’ Macarena asked.

‘’I’ve been working at this place long enough to know if someone is a strap virgin or not. You were thinking about it way too much and spent way too much time looking at all the different models. And I also heard that you went there to buy a gift for your little friend Rizos, no? A little birdie told me about you two… now if you connect the dots… it is pretty obvious,  _ rubia. _ ’’

Macarena licked her lips, debating her options. Either reject Zulema and go to bed worked up once again, trying to hold back her moans at the thought of the brunette touching her instead of herself, or let Zulema take her to the bedroom and show her how the strap works. 

Though Zulema would never know that Rizos had already gotten her birthday present and that they would never try having sex with a strap on. Who was she to fill Zulema in and hold her back from a demonstration?

It didn’t take her long to decide. 

‘’ _ Bueno… pues mostrarme.’’  _

Zulema’s smirk grew wider just a tiny bit before she nodded her head towards the direction of Macarena’s bedroom. 

‘’ _ Venga.’’  _ She ordered and waited for the blonde to do as she was told, then grabbed the box she had hidden in the side pocket of her bag and followed the younger woman.

When the door fell shut, Macarena turned around towards Zulema and freed herself from the shirt she was wearing as she made eye contact with the black box inside of the woman’s hands. 

Zulema pushed herself off the door she had been leaning against and approached Macarena while opening the package and taking out the toy the blonde has had her eyes on the other day.

‘’I figured that if I’m going to live with you for a few weeks, I should be a nice guest and bring you a little gift… Is that what nice people do?’’ 

Macarena tried to pretend that Zulema’s words had no effect on her, that they weren’t sending wave after wave of arousal through her body and that she wouldn’t instantly be on her knees if Zulema wanted her to. But she was failing miserably, her quiet voice gave her away.

‘’I thought you don’t do nice.’’ She mumbled matter-of-factly. Or at least she tried.

‘’You’re right,  _ rubia.  _ I don’t.’’ Zulema replied as her hand reached for the waistband of Macarena’s jeans before pulling the blonde closer with one hefty tug that took her by surprise. She looked into her hazel eyes as she opened the buttons of her jeans and then, with no shame, shoved her hand right into Macarena’s panties.

That one clung onto Zulema’s shoulders, her eyes widening in surprise.

‘’You’re so wet we’re not even going to need the foreplay.’’ Zulema mumbled and removed her hand again to give the younger woman a push towards the bed, then proceeded to suck her finger clean. ‘’Get on the bed and take off your pants.’’

Macarena did as she was told and tossed her jeans to the side. With her body exposed in red lace she crawled backwards and leaned onto her elbows as she watched Zulema put on the strap; but not bothering to take off her own clothes first. Macarena frowned.

‘’Aren’t you gonna…’’ She motioned up and down the brunette’s body.

‘’Take off my clothes? No.’’ Zulema looked at the sight in front of her. A blonde goddess in red lingerie, laying on the bed more than ready for a ‘demonstration’. Which was total bullshit, they both knew that. But the temptation was too big to not give in and they had already crossed a line the previous night.

She noticed Maca’s eyes glued to the strap in her hands and smirked. 

‘’Enjoying the view so far?’’ She asked and gained a nod from the blonde woman. ‘’Too bad you’re not gonna watch me fuck you. Turn around. On all fours.’’

Even though Maca didn’t like the thought of not being able to look at Zulema, she obeyed and did as she was told. Again. 

She felt the weight of the mattress shift under Zulema’s weight before feeling the brunette’s body brushing against her own. 

‘’ _ Abre las piernas.’’  _ She heard the husk voice behind her and opened her legs, looked over her shoulder which gained her a tight, almost painful grip onto her thigh. 

‘’Did I say turn your head?’’ 

Macarena pulled her bottom lip between her teeth as she brought her gaze back to the wall in front of her and stared holes into the dark blue wallpaper.

Zulema positioned herself behind the blonde, staring at the woman’s silhouette for a little longer than necessary, but the way the full moon was illuminating the room and shining up the contour of Macarena’s perfectly shaped body. She wrapped her fingertips around the waistband of the red lace panties, then slowly pulled them down to the blonde’s thighs to have enough access and an enticing view.

‘’ _ Entonces, rubita…  _ the most important thing is that you either use lube that you apply to the toy before using it, or…’’ Zulema reached between their bodies to collect some of the blonde’s wetness once more and grinned to herself ‘’You make sure your girl is at least soaking wet already.’’ 

She pressed her hips against Macarena’s ass, causing the strap to brush against her center with a small amount of pressure that made the younger woman squirm before slowly moving them back and forth in an agonizingly slow pace. 

Macarena’s fingers were digging into the sheets, she was more than ready and she  _ knew  _ that Zulema was playing with her. But did she mind? No, not this time. 

When the strap came into contact with her clit however, she released a shaking breath of anticipation and was  _ this  _ close to beg Zulema to fuck her. But the brunette read her mind faster than she could open her mouth. 

‘’Now once that’s the case, you can finally give her some attention with the strap.’’ 

And in that moment, Zulema changed her mind and decided that she wanted to watch the blonde while fucking her.

‘’Turn around and lay on your back. I assume you prefer vanilla for a first, no?’’ 

Macarena turned around and laid on her back, pulling the panties off her legs and threw a glare at Zulema. ‘’You and I both know I don’t. But most women I’ve been with do.’’

‘’ _Calmate rubia._ _Necesitas relajarte. No quiero hacerte daño.’’_ The brunette replied with a smug grin on her face when her hips buck forward and teased Macarena’s entrance once more before moving them further until the toy was inside of her completely. 

Macarena inhaled deeply, her exhale was more of a moan than a breath however; quiet and soft. 

‘’Start off slowly… the buildup is just as important as the foreplay.’’ Zulema mumbled and pulled out again only to go back inside in the same slow pace. 

Macarena shifted underneath her, whimpering quietly as she pushed her hips in an attempt to get more of what she actually wants. But Zulema took her time.

‘’You want to make sure it’s not going to be uncomfortable or painful.’’ She added and continued moving inside until the toy was filling Macarena up completely. But instead of beginning to thrust, the brunette removed the toy again and the woman beneath her gave her a puzzled look.

‘’But as I recall…’’ Zulema whispered as she ran her right hand through blonde curls until she could grab a fistful, just in time she pushed the strap back inside,  _ hard.  _

Macarena’s eyes widened rapidly and her mouth fell open as a sharp gasp filled the room. Zulema leaned in and buried her nose into the blonde’s neck, feeling the goosebumps forming on her skin at the contact. 

‘’Some women like it rough.’’ She mumbled against the soft skin.

Macarena brought her hands to Zulema’s back and tugged at the black shirt in an attempt to find something to hold onto. Before she knows, the strap is out of her once more. 

‘’ _ Zulema!’’  _ The blonde whined, her body writhing on the sheets.

‘’I think I should teach you slowly. I wouldn’t want you to miss on an important lesson by me going too fast.’’ The brunette replied before finally having mercy on Macarena and bringing the strap back inside of her, the blonde’s legs immediately widening at the penetration. 

She moaned out in satisfaction, the grip on Zulema’s shirt tightening as she closed her eyes and let herself get lost in the moment, not thinking about consequences or the morning after because right there, right that moment, nothing ever felt that good and right.

‘’Once you pick up the pace… make her wrap your legs around you. It allows you to go deeper.’’ Zulema mumbled against Macarena’s skin who picked up on the hint and did exactly that. She instantly felt the toy going deeper inside of her until it hit her,  _ right there _ and caused her breath to get stuck in her throat for a second. 

The moan that followed was louder than she wanted it to be. 

Zulema bit into the skin of Macarena’s neck as she continued thrusting into the younger woman. Of course there wasn’t enough friction for her to feel the same amount of pleasure due to the clothes she was wearing. But having an almost naked Macarena moaning beneath her sure did enough to turn her on immensely. 

Before she knew it, Zulema was moaning against Macarena’s skin, her thrusts becoming deeper. Faster. Until the blonde’s moans had turned into high-pitched gasps and her body was trembling, her heels dug into Zulema’s lower back and the grip onto her shirt was so tight that she was sure it would be torn apart any second. 

Macarena was close. But she couldn’t get there. And Zulema knew exactly what she needed.

She brought one of her hands between their bodies, removed her head from Macarena’s body and looked down at her. 

‘’As you know, the most important thing for a woman’s climax is her clit. So even if you fuck someone with a strap, make sure you do  _ this.’’  _

Zulema pressed her thumb firmly against the blonde’s clit and motioned it in small circles.

That was all it took.

Macarena’s back arched off the mattress and just when the wave of her orgasm began to hit her, the black fabric between her fingers was ripped apart. 

A loud moan broke the silence and was followed by the sound of Macarena panting as her body was quivering from the aftershocks that continually made her body twitch until Zulema’s movements stopped and she leaned back down, her lips directly against Macarena’s ear.

The blonde’s body fully collapsed into the sheets when Zulema’s words hit her.

‘’And this is how you use a strap on… but I guess if you had really wanted to know, you wouldn’t have obeyed to let me fuck you so easily. You would have tried to use this on me instead,  _ no te parece _ ?’’

_ Gotcha, rubia.  _

  
  
  
  



	10. i see red

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don't kill me xoxo

_ after catching you with her _

_ your blood should run cold _

* * *

  
  


_ Why didn’t she touch me? Why was she dressed? Why didn’t she kiss me? _

A million questions are going through Macarena’s head that night. After Zulema left her room she had collapsed onto the sheets and started processing everything that had just happened.

That was an hour ago. 

She is still laying in her bed, half naked as her eyes are staring holes into the wall above her. She had been so sure that Zulema would kiss her the night she watched her, she had been so sure Zulema would kiss her when her hand found its way to her cheek after she came… but then she just leaned down to her ear again and called her out. 

Why won’t she finally kiss her? 

Macarena can’t stop thinking about the fact that it had been Zulema who demanded for her to go on when she found her, it had been Zulema who initiated the sex. If that’s what you could call it. 

And yet, she refuses to bring their lips together although Macarena can see that she clearly wants it as well. She is an actress. She can tell the difference between pretending and actually being honest. And even though Zulema is harder to read than anyone else she’s ever met before, Macarena just  _ knows  _ that deep down the other woman isn’t just pretending anymore. Not at this point.

She wouldn’t exactly call it love, not even being in love or a crush… but there is  _ something  _ going on between them. A spark that is still waiting to be ignited. But maybe neither of them are ready for this kind of commitment yet. 

Macarena turns to her side and pulls the sheets over her now freezing cold body, Zulema’s heat is long gone. But the thoughts of her strap inside of her not so much. 

As much as she enjoyed what happened, as much as she was able to let herself go during sex for the first time in years, her mind isn’t satisfied. Her mind can’t stop bringing back to her memory that Zulema had been fully dressed. Not even a single part of her body had been exposed; until Macarena ripped apart her shirt but that’s a different point. 

The point is that there hadn’t been the smallest amount of affection, not a single moment of gentleness or tenderness. Not even  _ desire.  _

Just penetration. 

Macarena sighs frustratedly. Suddenly the thought of all this is nothing more than exactly that; frustrating. And she isn’t ready to accept that she wants more than just sex from Zulema. Not yet. Maybe not ever.

* * *

Behind closed doors, Zulema is laying on the couch staring at a different coloured ceiling. What the hell happened there an hour ago? Or even before that; how did it even come that far? Why in the  _ fuck  _ did she allow herself to go there? Teasing Macarena was one thing and even watching her getting herself off… but actually fucking her? 

But did she though? Did she actually have sex with her?

Sort of. She did penetrate her with a strap-on after all. But this had been unlike anything she has ever done with a person. All pieces of clothing had remained on her body, not even Macarena had been fully naked. No touching, no caressing, no stroking… no kissing.

Just penetration. 

Besides, Macarena would never look at her the way one would look at someone they would possibly want to kiss. There was no affection between them whatsoever and she needs to keep this in her mind before this blonde ballerina would end up wrapping her around her little finger. 

And then there is also Lidia. Zulema still doesn’t know the deal between her and Maca, but ever since that brunette goddess had entered the bathroom and interrupted her little argument with Macarena, Zulema knew there was  _ something  _ going on. 

Maybe, if she wants to understand this blonde a little more, she has to find out.

Zulema turns to her side and sighs while reaching for her phone and opening google. She is already way too involved in this. But she can’t allow herself to feel whatever it is that is bubbling up inside of her whenever she sees Macarena’s dimples deepening when she’s pretending to be mad at her. Zulema knows that Maca secretly loves her humor. She also knows Maca secretly loves having her around.

But Zulema isn’t ready to admit to herself that she might enjoy this just a little bit as well. Because once she does, there will be no going back and if she wants to pick up her previous life with Saray again, she needs to let go of Macarena eventually. 

* * *

Much to both of their surprise the two of them spend breakfast without any awkward silence or snarky comments. While Macarena is wondering what’s going on inside of Zulema’s brain, the brunette asks herself why the blonde isn’t squirming in her seat from embarrassment or blushing whenever she lays eyes on her. 

Instead, they finally have their first peaceful meal together and the idea of having to strap Maca down for her to finally drop the attitude makes Zulema snort to herself.

Macarena flinches at the sound that breaks the comfortable silence.

‘’What?’’ She asks with a puzzled look.

‘’Nothing.’’ Zulema replies and takes a sip of her coffee. ‘’So, how many rehearsals do I have to attend before I have to come and see the final play and can finally leave the world of theater again?’’

Macarena internally rolls her eyes and swallows her mouthful of pancakes. ‘’You don’t have to come to any rehearsal. There is only one open rehearsal for every play I do. So it’s just the premiere you’ll have to watch.’’

‘’Thank god.’’ Zulema says as she puts her cup back down onto the table.

‘’Do you really hate theater that much?’’

‘’No. I actually like it. I just can’t stand the people you work with.’’

‘’You mean you can’t stand Lidia.’’

‘’Yeah her in particular. But that’s only because she thinks she’s Miss Perfect and seems to think she knows everything better than everyone else.’’

Macarena chuckles. ‘’She’s not that bad actually. She sure has a lot of confidence but that’s because she usually  _ is  _ right.’’

‘’What’s your deal with her anyways? You two seem really comfortable and familiar with each other in the picture of your old play.’’ Zulema states. 

‘’Well…’’ She isn’t quite sure this is the right moment to tell Zulema about her and Lidia’s past but there might not be another occasion to do so, which is why the blonde takes a second longer to reply. ‘’I guess you have to know about this at one point anyways, so I’m gonna tell you the truth.’’ 

Zulema frowns. That wasn’t exactly what she was expecting. How many secrets could a woman possibly have? 

Her questions are answered just a second later.

‘’We met in college. Well, I was in college. She was taking dancing classes and once I signed up for one, she got assigned to me. I joined that class with a lot of experience already and Lidia was the best one so far, so it was always the two of us who would dance in the front, either to teach the others or to simply do a couple dance together. After I graduated I couldn’t find any job. I had no money to pay my bills and Lidia was the only one who noticed something was wrong because she knew me better than anyone else… So one night after rehearsal she came over and tried to comfort me. Next thing I knew I was in bed with her. And after a long night full of sex she eventually figured what’s going on and introduced me to her business.’’ Macarena looks down at her plate and sighs before meeting Zulema’s eyes again who was looking right back at her with a knowing expression on her face.

‘’The escort business.’’ She states.

‘’Exactly.’’ Macarena nods. ‘’And well, I managed to pay my bills, quickly became one of the highest requested women and had a job. Lidia and I would occasionally hook up… until I met Armando.’’ Maca takes a deep breath as the memories flash before her eyes. ‘’But we’re not like that anymore.’’ She adds when she notices the unfamiliar expression on Zulema’s face.

The brunette snorts and drinks the remaining sip of her coffee. ‘’Yeah right.’’ 

Maca gives her a puzzled look. ‘’What?’’

‘’Oh  _ please.  _ The sexual tension between the two of you is undeniable. Why didn’t you ask her to be your fake date? Why do I have to be involved in all of this?’’

Macarena’s face drops as if she just received a slap to her cheek. 

‘’Do you suddenly have a problem?’’ She asks.

‘’I just don’t get why I have to play the knight in shining armor when  _ she  _ is right there.’’ Zulema shrugs and grabs her dirty dishes to put them into the sink for now. 

Macarena doesn’t know what exactly has gotten into that brunette head but she feels like she owes her somewhat of an explanation after that weird reaction.

‘’Look, Zulema. I really don’t know where your banter and sarcasm is at right now or what’s going on in your head but I’m simply not trying to be with anyone else at the moment. Lidia would have been too obvious. After our little encounter the other night he apparently didn’t know shit about me and Lidia but it would have been too weird. I didn’t want to ask her.’’ 

_ And I never felt as safe with someone as I did with you. _ Macarena wants to add. But the words get stuck in her throat. 

Zulema doesn’t bother to reply and simply nods her head while washing her dishes. 

After a minute of silence, Macarena frowns. ‘’Which picture were you talking about?’’

‘’The one with your hands shoved into her pants.’’ Zulema replies after drying her hands on a towel and raises her eyebrows.

‘’My what- oh.’’ Suddenly, the blonde starts snorting and the brunette’s brows disappear further under her eyebrows. ‘’I have my  _ fingertips  _ in the pockets of her pants on her front side. But whatever you say Zule.’’

Zulema internally grins at the nickname. 

‘’Yeah, we played a couple in that play. Or well, an ex couple that tries to find its way back together and is met with a lot more difficulties they had imagined. Long story short, my character died because when a man writes a play there obviously can’t be a happy ending for two women.’’ 

The brunette just nods and shoves another mouthful of pancakes into her mouth when Macarena makes an annoying conclusion. 

‘’Wait, did you google me?’’

‘’No.’’

‘’Oh sure you did.’’ Macarena grins.

‘’If you know the answer to your own question why do you open your mouth?’’ 

The blonde’s grin grows wider, her dimples increasing.

‘’You so did google me. Or you googled her… wait, are you jealous?’’

She flinches when Zulema’s cup meets the wooden table with a loud noise.

‘’I’m-’’ 

Her answer is interrupted by the ringing of her phone. Zulema gets up and Macarena watches her walking towards the table in the living room to pick it up. She softly smiles to herself at the sight of Zulema dropping her attitude for just a moment when she sees the name on her display and the hint of a smile brightens up her features.

‘’ Qué tal gitana?’’

‘’ _Todo bien._ _For me at least. I have some news for you that you’re not gonna like_.’’

‘’What is it?’’ 

‘’ _ You’re gonna have to bring La Maca to my wedding this weekend. _ ’’

‘’ _ Estas de broma? Por qué?! _ ’’ Zulema asks as her eyes shoot to the blonde sitting in the kitchen and scrolling through whatever social media account while eating her pancakes whose syrup was dripping down the corner of her mouth. 

She really does eat like a baby.

‘’ _ Oye Zule!’’  _ Saray calls from the other side of the phone.

_ ‘’What _ ?’’ Zulema snarls.

‘’ _ Is the imagination of you in a dress getting you off so much or why are you so silent _ ?’’ Saray asks mockingly.

‘’What do you  _ mean,  _ me in a dress?!’’

‘’ _ Tía, did you listen to anything that I just told you _ ?’’ 

‘’No, I stopped listening after the news of my plus one for this weekend.’’

Zulema can almost hear Saray’s smirk on the other end of the telephone. 

_ ‘’Don’t worry, it’s just for a couple of hours. And from what you’ve told me last time it might even be a little fun to have her around. Anyways, since you didn’t hear what I’ve told you afterwards I’m gonna drop the breaking news again. This Armando dude is going to be here. He somehow found a way to be one of my friends’ plus one. And from what you’ve told me about him after your shift the other day I figured you’re gonna have to bring Macarena…’’ _

Zulema pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs in frustration. It was time to put this man in his place for once and for all. This shit was starting to get dangerous.

‘’ _ Vale.  _ I’ll bring her. Remind me again why I have to wear a dress?’’ 

‘’ _ Because I bought it for you after our drunk night out when we went suit shopping. And I am not going to let you look better than me in a suit at my own wedding. _ ’’ Saray states and Zulema can’t help herself from laughing at her friend.

‘’Understood. But only because it’s your wedding and because this is the only dress I’ve ever looked good in. If my drunk brain didn’t trick me.’’

‘’ _ Trust me when I say that you looked so hot rubi is gonna want to fuck you in a bathroom stall all night long _ .’’ 

‘’ _ Calla.  _ I’ll see you on Friday for a last night out before your big day.’’

‘’ _ Vale. Adios!.’’ _

‘’Bye, gitana.’’

‘’ _ Oye Zule?’’  _

_ ‘’Qué?’’ _

_ ‘’Tuuuu!’’ _

_ ‘’Tuu!’’  _ Zulema hears Saray chuckle and smiles to herself before hanging up and taking a deep breath to mentally prepare herself to break the news to Maca who was looking at her with raised brows as she approached her.

‘’Everything okay?’’ The blonde asks.

Zulema purses her lips and nods. ‘’Yeah more or less. Your stupid ex boyfriend has found a way to be at Saray’s wedding this weekend so now you have no other choice than to come with me.’’

Macarena looks at her like she had an alien standing right in front of her that was trying to talk to her in a language she’s never heard of before.

‘’What?’’ She eventually asks.

Zulema makes a Bronx cheer and points at Macarena. ‘’You. Me. Saray’s wedding. This saturday. Got it?’’ 

Maca stares at her half empty plate and suddenly feels like throwing up. She knew that Armando had its ways to find out things about her life and schedules but  _ this?  _ He was testing her. He knew that if Zulema’s best friend was getting married, she would be there too. As a supporting girlfriend or whatever. He knew that if he met her in a public place, there was no way she could do anything that wouldn’t either expose herself or put him in danger. 

‘’ _ Oye rubita.’’  _ Zulema notices the blonde’s discomfort, gently grabs her chin and gives her a reassuring smile. ‘’It’s gonna be okay.’’

_ I’m gonna make sure this bastard isn’t going to lay hands on you again.  _ She wants to add, but just like Macarena, she simply can’t get herself to it.

* * *

Both women go on with their days as if nothing strange had happened between them recently. As if Zulema didn’t touch Macarena’s naked body in the shower, as if she hadn’t caught her knuckle deep inside of herself… as if she didn’t fuck her less than twelve hours ago. 

Macarena takes a shower and gets ready for yet another two hour rehearsal that takes up all the energy she had left for the day, Zulema leaves for another shift as a waitress with an inhuman amount of people bothering her until 11pm that night. 

She is ready to hit the sheets, or well the couch as soon as she gets to the place she has to call her home for now. However, she isn’t prepared for the sight that meets her as soon as she enters the apartment. 

* * *

**_one hour earlier_ **

‘’Alright, that’s it for today ladies. Next week we’re gonna have two extra classes for the big show on friday night!  _ Hasta Lunes!’’  _ Macarena ends the class and packs her things together as she waits for everyone to leave the room. 

Everyone but Lidia. 

When Macarena turns around she is standing right in front of her. 

‘’Do you need anything?’’ She asks as she adjusts the strap of her bag on her shoulder and looks at the brunette expectantly. 

Lidia shakes her head and simply takes a step closer, her soft features greeting Macarena with a warm smile.

‘’No, not necessarily. I just wanted to check up on you. We haven’t really spent much time catching up due to both our schedules and I know you might not want to talk, you left Malaga without a word after all… and you know I’m not someone to dig, I know you well enough to understand you needed this time for yourself but…’’ Lidia sighs and takes Macarena’s hands into her own, a frown appearing on her forehead when she notices the blonde’s facade cracking already. ‘’I saw him in the audience the other day. Macarena, are you okay?’’

Macarena turns her gaze away, she didn’t expect Lidia to realize. She should have known better, if anyone knew her it was her. But Armando is the last thing she wants to talk about right now. 

A soft hand finds her cheek and mildly makes her look at the brunette again. 

‘’If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for it. I’m here.’’ Lidia whispers, then wraps her arms around her friend’s body and pulls her in for a hug. She knows Maca is too stubborn to ask for what she needs the most, but the brunette knows better and immediately feels the other woman surrender in her embrace. 

Little does she know that her friend already asked for help from no one else than the raven haired stranger that seemed to threaten her in a bathroom. A stranger that was slowly managing to crawl its way into the depths of Macarena’s broken and locked heart. 

Maca sighs. Lidia’s warmth is something she had been missing for all those years. Ever since she came to Madrid, no one had been able to give her the kind of comfort the brunette always did. Not even Rizos. With Zulema, she thought that things could change for the first time but apparently she had been wrong. All Zulema seemed to be interested in was getting all of this over with. 

Macarena closes her eyes, burying her nose in the crook of Lidia’s neck. She really missed this. The feeling of someone knowing what she needs, someone who would show her the affection and reassurance she hasn’t felt in years. It was this exact thing that Zulema couldn’t give her. Affection. But if she stands there with her eyes closed, she can almost imagine how Zulema’s arms could feel around her body like this.

The thought of the raven haired woman holding her like this sends a sting right to Macarena’s heart.

_ If only this could be you. If only.  _

The blonde pulls away a little and looks at Lidia when a thought flashes through her head. Why shouldn’t she get what she needs? Who was she to deny herself the affection she needed? What’s so wrong about…

As if Lidia is able to read her mind, Macarena’s eyes fall shut when she’s met with a familiar pair of lips on her own.

The brunette pulls her in for an open mouthed kiss, their tongues brush against each other’s after years and  _ god,  _ Maca doesn’t remember the last time someone kissed her like this. She can’t help herself from softly leading Lidia towards the wall behind her until their bodies are just as entangled as their tongues. 

Macarena is just about to slide her hands under the brunette’s shirt when a hand grabs her wrist and Lidia breaks the kiss, looking at her breathlessly.

Maca gives her a questioning look before Lidia’s voice whispers

‘’Not here… take me home.’’

* * *

  
  


When Zulema gets into the apartment she hears quiet music coming from behind the half closed door to the living room. It’s nothing unusual at first until she hears a familiar sound.

Macarena’s moan.

Zulema chuckles to herself. Pretty cute of rubia to try and cover her moans with music this time. She doesn’t really bother to interrupt her another time, she would simply take the opportunity to sleep in the blonde’s bed instead of the couch Maca was apparently busy on. 

That’s until she hears another voice.

‘ _ ’I missed seeing you like this so much. _ ’’

Zulema frowns and turns around, slowly walking towards the door. Her blood almost freezes when she sees the silhouette of Macarena on top of a very familiar brunette who is holding onto the back of the couch.

_ We’re not like this anymore.  _

The words echo through her head when she hears Lidia’s moan against Macarena’s lips as the blonde slowly runs her hands down the brunette’s back.

Zulema has never been a voyeur really, the vision of two people having sex never did anything to her. But she can’t help herself from leaning against the doorframe and running her thumb over her bottom lip when she watches Macarena’s jaw dropping as Lidia’s hand disappears into the blonde’s underwear. 

Maybe it’s seeing Macarena moaning, maybe it’s watching Lidia’s features turn into full pleasure when Macarena’s hand mirrors the brunette’s motions. But this view definitely causes her own body to tense.

But watching Macarena surrender to someone she is comfortable with, a scenario that seems incredibly intimate causes her chest to clench for whatever reason. So she decides to end the rush of her own emotions by what she does best. 

‘’Go a little deeper, you’re not touching her good spots. You can tell by the look on her face. Well, the lack thereof.’’ Zulema interrupts the two women and watches as both of their heads shoot towards her.

Lidia looks at Macarena questioningly as she removes her hands from the woman’s body and sits up straight after the blonde got off of her and sits on the couch and looks at Zulema. 

When neither of them speaks, Zulema approaches the two women, her eyes fixed on Lidia’s. 

‘’Have you ever fucked a woman before,  _ guapa?’’  _

Lidia straightens her posture and puts on a sarcastic smile. 

‘’I have. Actually, I’ve fucked  _ Macarena  _ more than once.’’

‘’Yeah well, apparently you still lack some experience. Because blondie was a little quiet with you. She was much louder when I fucked her last night.’’

Lidia looks at Macarena again with a frown. 

That one gives her an apologizing look, a face that says  _ I’ll explain everything later  _ before she finds Zulema’s eyes and raises her brows.

‘’What the fuck are you doing here already?’’

Zulema laughs, points at the clock behind them and clicks her tongue. ‘’I just finished my shift. Actually, I worked half an hour more so this one’s on you,  _ rubita.’’  _

Macarena’s eyes follow Zulema’s finger to the clock and when she realizes that Zulema was actually right she closes her eyes and runs her hands through blonde curls. 

‘’Oh don’t look so disappointed. Don’t stop on my behalf. But I don’t think you’re gonna go to sleep satisfied if miss morena here keeps going like she did.’’ 

Lidia rolls her eyes and laughs to herself.

‘’What exactly is your problem?’’ She asks.

Zulema leans down until her face is inches away from the brunette and lowers her voice.

‘’My problem is, that you think you know it all when you don’t even seem to be able to make a woman come.’’

Lidia looks at the older woman, clearly unbothered. ‘’I’m sorry it hurts your ego to see me with Macarena, but I would be really grateful if you could leave now. We were quite in the middle of something.’’ She closes the distance between them and pecks Zulema’s lips, provoking her even more. 

Before she can lean back again, Zulema’s hand is entangled with brown locks and tugs at her hair. 

‘’You’re playing with fire,  _ bambi. _ ’’ She whispers into Lidia’s ear before pressing a kiss to the younger woman’s cheek and adds ‘’Drop the attitude and let me show you how to make a woman come properly.’’ 

A thousand doubts come to Lidia’s mind, but right now she wants nothing more than proving this scorpion of a woman wrong.

Macarena, who has been watching the scenario in front of her without a word, clears her throat as her eyes switch between the two women in front of her. 

Before she knows, Lidia is kissing her again and she can’t even think twice before her eyes fall shut and she gives in to her own desire once more. 

‘’Get on top of her, Macarena enjoys giving up control more than she wants to admit, am I right  _ rubi?’’ _

The blonde doesn’t reply, she’s too busy feeling the weight of Lidia’s body on her own to gather proper thoughts. The brunette wastes no time to bring her hand back into Macarena’s underwear and Maca could swear she hears Zulema’s sharp inhale when she moans into Lidia’s mouth again, louder this time.

‘’See? There you go.’’ Zulema mumbles and gets behind the brunette, her left arm wraps around her waist as her right one runs up the soft skin of her thigh. She brings her lips to Lidia’s ear again and continues giving her instructions.

‘’Now, when you touch her, make sure to do it…  _ right here _ ’’ Zulema mumbles as Lidia flinches against her hand and moans into Macarena’s mouth who squirms underneath the woman’s body and brings her hands behind her to hold onto the couch. 

Zulema pulls Lidia up against her chest, wraps her arm around her waist tightly and trails her tongue up her neck as she watches Macarena moan. 

‘’Once she’s wet enough for you to slip inside of her… do this.’’ Zulema whispers when her fingers easily enter the brunette and she curls her fingers, showing her what exactly she’s supposed to do to Macarena.

Apparently it’s working. Lidia’s head falls back against Zulema’s shoulder while she copies the motions of the older woman’s hand inside of Macarena who lets out a loud moan at the touch. 

The blonde momentarily opens her eyes and catches Zulema staring at her. For a short second it almost feels like it’s her. But the moment passes when she hears Lidia moaning out Zulema’s name and her own eyes roll back into the back of her head, her orgasm approaching her rather quickly.

Zulema doesn’t take long to notice the brunette in her arms is close as well so she picks up the pace, listens to Macarena’s moans as if it was her body she is touching and gathers all her self control to not moan out the blonde’s name into Lidia’s ear when she feels the brunette come, and watches Maca’s orgasm hitting her body the same time. 

Then, the room is filled with nothing else but heavy breathing. The playlist is long over and both women slowly gather back control over their breathing when Macarena opens her eyes and is met with a sight she never expected to see.

Zulema is sucking her friend’s fingers clean that had been inside of her just a few seconds ago. And as if that wasn’t enough, she watches as Zulema grabs Lidia’s chin and pulls her in for an open mouthed kiss as her tongue makes sure to lick up every last drop of Macarena’s orgasm.

She feels herself blush and closes her eyes again when piercing green eyes find her own.

Zulema let’s go of Lidia’s body who leans against the backrest and runs a hand over her face while the raven haired woman crouches down next to Macarena and wipes a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

‘’Did you get what you wanted? Trying to make me jealous with Lidia and provoking that I would catch you two having sex on the place where I sleep?’’ She asks with a voice as smooth as velvet. 

Macarena opens her eyes and yanks her head away from Zulema’s touch before sitting up.

‘’No, Zulema. I really don’t know what is going on with you today but get your shit together. I’m a person with a sex life after all and if that rubs you the wrong way then I’m sorry but-’’

‘’Does she know?’’ Zulema interrupts. 

‘’Do I know what?’’ Lidia asks from the other side of the couch.

Zulema turns her head towards the brunette and gives her the same sarcastic smile the other woman had given her when she first entered the room.

‘’That you just fucked my girlfriend.’’

‘’Your  _ what?’’ _

‘’Fuck off, Zulema!’’ Macarena snaps and gets off the couch to grab her nightgown from the bedroom. ‘’She is not my girlfriend, Lidia.’’ Her voice calls from the other side of the apartment until she’s back in the living room where the brunette had started to get dressed again. ‘’Not officially at least. We’re fake dating as long as Armando is here.’’ Macarena explains but the look on Lidia’s face tells her she isn’t exactly buying it.

Well, who was she kidding. It was the truth, but the same time a bullshit excuse and both Lidia and Macarena knew better. 

‘’Okay…’’ The brunette says while putting her shirt on and walks up to the blonde with a soft smile. ‘’I’m gonna leave you two to this. I am clearly in the wrong place here and honestly, Maca baby… I didn’t sign up for cheating. We’re gonna talk about this sometime else.’’ 

Lidia kisses her cheek and gives Zulema a last look before she disappears into the hallway and out of Macarena’s apartment, leaving the two women behind.

Then, there is silence. 

Macarena is looking at the floor, Zulema still staring at the door Lidia walked out of a few moments ago. 

It is Zulema who talks first.

‘’What do you want from me, Macarena?’’ She asks and turns towards the blonde next to her.

Maca takes a deep breath, runs her hands over her face until they brush through blonde curls as her eyes meet Zulema’s. 

‘’I could ask you the same question.’’ 

‘’Yeah well, I asked first.’’

‘’Why does all of this bother you so goddamn much? What fucking problem do you have with Lidia? Not that I was good at reading you before, you’re a god damn mystery Zulema, but you’ve been acting weird around her ever since she stepped into this fucking bathroom and I really,  _ really  _ don’t understand you.’’

Zulema listens as Macarena talks herself in rage and sighs frustratedly. She was asking her the exact same questions she has been asking herself for the past few days and the truth was, she still doesn’t have an answer to them. Fortunately enough, Maca doesn’t dig deeper but continues speaking.

‘’We are  _ fake  _ dating, Zulema. We are  _ faking it.  _ So what is your fucking problem? You walk in on me and Lidia, that’s one thing. But acting like the jealous girlfriend really doesn’t suit you at all.’’ 

Again, she gets no response. 

And suddenly, Macarena realizes.

Her face drops and her eyes almost grow twice their size when Zulema’s eyes meet her own.

‘’Are you starting to like me, Zulema?’’

The brunette’s face is yet another indecipherable mystery, no hints of emotions or feelings cross her features. But her reply gives Macarena all the answers she needed.

‘’You fucking wish.’’ 

Zulema shoves her hands into the pockets of her pants and walks towards the door.

‘’Where are you going?’’ Sounds Macarena’s voice behind her.

‘’I don’t owe you an explanation. As you just perfectly stated, I’m not your girlfriend.’’

And with that, she’s gone. 

  
  



	11. you should be sad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welcome to this week's filler chapter.  
> i can't believe we are already halfway through this fic but not even close to actually putting all the pieces together. thank you all for keping up with this fic and expressing your support and excitement, it really is the biggest motivation.
> 
> i highly recommend listening to the two songs i featured in this one for better imagination <3  
> do it - the bosshoss https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGaI3YcXC1o  
> you should be sad - halsey https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JiDzwbQgTI
> 
> now get your cowboy hats and a tissue ready, this one's a little tougher

_I had no warning about who you are_

_I'm just glad I made it out without breaking down_

_And then ran so fuckin' far that you would never ever touch me again_

* * *

‘’ _Oye,_ what the hell happened that you show up at my place in the middle of the night?’’ 

Saray closes the door behind her and Zulema after her friend gets in and walks straight towards the fridge.

‘’Do you have anything that is a little stronger than beer and water?’’ Zulema asks and looks the contents of the fridge up and down.

‘’Of course, you know I always have a spare bottle of your favorite whiskey in the cabinet for occasions like this.’’ Saray replies with a knowing smile and makes her way towards the living room where she keeps the liquor along with two glasses. Her friend seems to be in need of a conversation.

In the meanwhile Zulema sits down on the couch and looks out of the window, clearly lost in her own thoughts. 

‘’Have you ever been someone you don’t recognize?’’ She eventually asks when Saray sits down next to her and clinks their glasses together.

‘’Yeah, many times. Do you feel like that?’’ The brunette asks and takes a sip of her whiskey.

Zulema sighs into her glass and nods her head. ‘’Yeah. I don’t recognize myself recently.’’

‘’Does that have anything to do with _la rubia?’’_ Saray asks, soft enough to let her best friend know she isn’t trying to mock or mess with her, but also curious enough to actually get some answers from the woman next to her. 

She is almost sure she won’t get an answer after Zulema just stared into the void for a minute too long before she actually speaks up.

‘’As much as I want to say no… yes. It does.’’

Saray knows better than to ask further questions, she knows Zulema will continue talking once she’s found the right words, so she just turns her head towards her friend and waits for her to continue. 

‘’She asked me for help. And after I saw this poor excuse of a man I couldn’t just look away. The risk of her getting hurt again was too high, so I agreed and now I’m fucking living with this woman and whenever we are in public I have to pretend to be her girlfriend.’’ 

Saray looks down at her glass and plays with the engraved sample on it. All of this wasn’t new to her, she’s heard the story until that part before. She also knows that there is more to their relationship than just living together and faking it in public. But it was better not to dip her toe into that subject just yet. 

‘’She got into your head.’’ Saray simply states.

Zulema doesn’t say anything. Saray is right and she knows it. But she is far away from being able to admit this to herself, let alone anyone else. Not even her best friend. 

They spend a couple of minutes in comfortable silence, either of them slowly finishing up the drink in their glass while Saray comes to the conclusion that Zulema must have forgotten her keys at Macarena’s place. The first thing she usually did was get a drink and be alone. Zulema isn’t very communicative, so having her in her apartment after whatever the hell just happened was a rare occasion. 

Zulema seems to have read her mind since she blurts out the answer to her question that has been going through Saray’s head ever since the brunette had stepped over the threshold.

‘’She fucked a woman on the couch I sleep on. And something tells me that she wanted to be caught. Otherwise she would have been in the bedroom with her. She wanted me to find them and see what I would do about it.’’

‘’And what did you do about it?’’

Zulema chuckles to herself before getting off the couch and walks towards the kitchen when she replies. 

‘’Give them a lesson.’’

Saray doesn’t even ask Zulema to elaborate on that. Instead, she gets up as well to join the other woman in the kitchen.

‘’You know what? You need to get your mind off things. I’m taking you to a party tomorrow.’’

Zulema is already opening her mouth to protest when Saray raises her index finger and arches her brows. 

‘’That was not a question. We’re going. It’s my last wish before I get married.’’

Zulema laughs and shakes her head at her friend. There was no use fighting her on this. If that’s what she wants to do before she’s wearing a ring on her finger for the rest of her life then so be it.

* * *

  
  


Meanwhile Macarena is sitting on the couch, hands folded in her lap while she is trying to process what the _fuck_ happened. 

Did she really just have sex with Lidia who was guided by Zulema’s hand? Did she subconsciously provoke this? Getting caught, seeing her reaction… Was it what she had expected?

A thousand questions without a single answer. 

Deep down, Macarena has a bad feeling that she just fucked everything up that had built between the two of them within the past two weeks. Zulema’s trust, or well, the small amount that she gained, Zulema’s softer side she got to see every now and then… maybe even the tiniest piece of Zulema’s heart. 

She was pretty sure that there had been stolen moments when the brunette would look at her and thought Macarena wouldn’t notice, but she did see her gaze at the theater and she did see the way Zulema looked at her when she was touching herself. 

And she also saw the hint of hurt in those big green eyes when they were fighting. 

Macarena sighs when gravity pulls her weak limbs down until she is laying on the couch when a too familiar scent fills her nostrils and suddenly tears blur her vision. 

The smell of the other woman lulls her into a trance and makes her relive everything, from their first meeting in the dark bathroom of ‘ _El infierno’_ to the final look of Zulema leaving her apartment. 

She buries her face into the pillow that swallows her sobs as she wraps the brunette’s blanket around her body, laying there until she loses track of time and just like that, curled up like an embryo that is surrounded by the warmth of the person it can’t live without, she eventually falls asleep.

* * *

‘’Stop being annoying, Zule! You’re gonna get drunk and have some fun. No rubia, no work, no problems.’’ Saray calls from her bedroom while she tries to tame her long hair into a braided ponytail.

‘’Yeah, you also said that when we went to that Freaky-Friday party and look where that got me.’’ Zulema replies from the couch in the living room as she lights a cigarette and takes a drag.

‘’But did you have fun that night or not?’’ Saray asks when she joins Zulema and grabs her leather jacket from the chair to her left.

The scorpion rolls her eyes and blows the smoke out into the direction of the window. ‘’Where are we going anyways? This is not what you usually wear when we’re crashing a party.’’

A wide smirk crosses Saray’s features. ‘’Who said we are crashing a party in the first place? It is an official public party for everyone to attend who wants to. Now get your ass off the couch and stop complaining, we have people waiting for us.’’ 

Zulema knows that there is no point in fighting Saray, as per usual. And she needs a night off her own thoughts after all.

What’s the worst that could happen?

* * *

‘’I am still not in the mood for a party Rizos.’’ Macarena sighs when the brunette comes out of the bathroom in black shorts, a transparent white top in combination with matching white boots and a black cowboy hat on her head. 

‘’And I am still convinced you need a night out to enjoy yourself and forget about life for a while. You know this always works, chica.’’ 

‘’Yeah, but this is different.’’ Maca disagrees. 

Rizos shakes her head and motions with her finger for the blonde to get up from the couch. ‘’Nothing that can’t be healed with a magical Rizos-night.’’ Her friend says and gently nudges Macarena’s arm. ‘’Besides, these parties used to be our thing. We owned the entire barn with our moves and outfits and some attention will work miracles. Trust me.’’ 

Macarena gives her friend an exhausted smile and nods. Rizos was right. She needs to get her mind off Armando, off Lidia and most importantly off Zulema. 

She grabs her hat from the table, puts it onto her head and theatrically licks her vibrant red lips that match the color of her boots while the rest of her look was kept in denim and white.

‘’ _Vale._ Let’s go and own the fucking night.’’ 

* * *

Zulema’s eyes had grown twice its size ever since Saray had parked her car right in front of a barn that was surrounded by nothing but trees, grass and animals.

‘’Do I look like a farmer to you?’’ She asks after five minutes of silence and turns her head towards Saray.

That one just snorts and shrugs her shoulders. 

‘’Someone very wise told me once that I can be whoever I want to be. So if you want to, you can be a farmer, Zule.’’ 

‘’That’s not- you know what, nevermind. I cannot believe you actually brought us to a _barn._ Are we gonna ride bulls after all?’’ 

‘’I’m not sure, I don’t know what Fernanda planned this year.’’ Saray replies and gets out of the car while untying her hair again and putting on the black leather jacket that has been tied around her waist before she sneaks a white hat from the backseat. 

Zulema joins Saray outside and eyes her best friend who suddenly seems to be a different person than the _gitana_ she got to know and love.

‘’Who are you and what did you do to Saray?’’ 

That one flashes her a smile and puts a black cowboy heat on top of Zulema’s head which rather quickly lands in the backseat of her car again.

‘’Don’t even try.’’ She warns before pulling the hood on her head and brings her hands into the pockets of her bomber jacket as she makes her way towards the barn.

As soon as the doors swing open they are greeted with loud music, the smell of cheap beer and the smell of perfume and sweat. 

  
  


_You gotta do it_

_What you're talking about_

_I said do it_

_Without any doubt_

_You gotta do it_

_If you think it's alright_

_I said do it_

_No fuss no fight_

  
  


The melody sounds through the room and Zulema very much already hates this place with every part of her being, she absolutely dislikes country music. The only good thing about these types of parties was cheap beer and maybe, maybe also the amount of girls swaying their hips to the rhythm of the music. 

Although, most of the females in this barn she’s laid her eyes on so far only consisted of too much makeup, too much skin and a cheap way of dancing that she’d rather consider dry-fucking than dancing. 

_Do it_

_And if they tell you not, still do it_

_You only got one shot_

_You gotta kick butt, give all you got_

_Turn on, tune in, it's all your show_

_Alright fight!_

Saray joins Zulema on a chair close to the bar and let’s her eyes scan over tonight’s possible dancing partners. This would be a worthy bachelorette party, maybe not so traditional but she had always enjoyed experiencing new things. And dancing to country couldn’t be so different from the Romani dances she knows. 

It doesn’t take her long to spot a familiar curly haired woman in the middle of the dancefloor who was moving her body to the rhythm just perfectly, every single motion as smooth as she had ever seen. And it was then that she realized; wherever she was… blondie wasn’t far. And just a second later-

_You don't need a master plan,_

_Just do it, baby oh yes you can_

‘’Oh shit.’’ She mumbles to herself. And that’s when Zulema saw her, just about to slap her ass and dive into the next step of an apparent studied choreography half of the people in the barn were familiar with.

_Do it man hot damn!_

Another slap to the other butt cheek before everyone turns around and Maca faces Zulema without noticing the brunette in the crowd when everyone starts dancing to the chorus.

_Set your love on fire_

_And let the flames burn higher_

_So set fire_

_To your heart, to your soul, to your mind_

_Let it shine_

_To your dream, your everything_

_It's your flame of fame_

_So set your love on fire_

Zulema’s eyes are glued to Macarena’s figure, watching her every movement as if it was the first time she ever saw her dancing. Armando had been right when he had told her that Macarena was mesmerizing, especially when she was dancing. And even though this wasn’t the first time that she saw her in her best element, it gave her the same excitement as the time she watched Macarena perform on stage to her song. 

_To your heart, to your soul, to your mind_

_Let it shine_

_To your dream, your everything_

_It's your flame of fame_

_So set your love on fire_

Macarena is so distracted by everyone dancing with them that she doesn’t even notice the two women at the bar staring at them. For the first time in a while, she was carefree and happy to be back at a place where she doesn’t have to be a teacher and can let herself go in the rhythm of the music without thinking too much about what could possibly happen if she made a mistake and missed a step of the choreo. 

When the song comes to an end, it immediately fades into the next melody. A song that Macarena unfortunately was too familiar with. During drunk nights, her and Rizos had practiced a classic country choreography to this, both of them screaming the lyrics from the top of their lungs after the brunette had once more broken up with one of her lovers. 

Little did she know that Macarena had experienced exactly what the lyrics were reflecting. 

The moment the guitar strings are being pulled and the semi-melancholic melody sounds through the barn, Macarena freezes on the spot. 

Still breathless from the previous dance, she listens as the female voice starts singing and looks around at the people slowly leaving the dancefloor and gathering in little groups for a chat or a drink until it was only her and Rizos left in the middle with a few strangers that are still as exhausted from the previous song as the two of them. 

_I wanna start this out and say, I gotta get it off my chest_

_Got no anger, got no malice just a little bit of regret_

_Know nobody else will tell you, so there's some things I gotta say_

_Gonna jot it down and then get it out and then I'll be on my way_

Rizos, who got excited the second she heard the first note of the song, looks at her friend questioningly. She isn’t familiar with the sight of the blonde not dancing in the middle of a dancefloor, especially not when a song is playing that connects their memories with each other. 

_No, you're not half the man you think that you are_

_And you can't fill the hole inside of you with money, drugs and cars_

‘’Come on Maca baby, this is our song. Let’s show them how it’s done!’’ She tries and pulls the blonde by her hands to lead them back to their spot on the dancefloor. 

_I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you_

_'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you_

_Oh, I feel so sorry_

Zulema watches as Rizos and Maca start their dance just when the chorus of the song blasts through the barn. People’s heads turn towards the two of them and before they know, there is a whole crowd surrounding them in a circle, cheering and singing along.

_And I had no warnin'_

_About who you are_

_I'm just glad I made it out without breakin' down and then ran so fuckin' far_

_That you would never ever touch me again_

_Won't see your alligator tears_

_'Cause, no, I've had enough of them_

Little by little, people recognize the familiar steps and join the two women as the second verse starts and Macarena eventually looks around the barn, the look in her eyes almost paranoid. 

Zulema understands, she has seen this look before. Maca is looking for Armando. 

But whenever she would notice that look in the blonde’s eyes, he was either around, or she associated whatever was happening with this man. So, why now?

The bridge of the song and Macarena’s body language gives her the answer.

_I'm so glad I never ever had a baby with you_

_'Cause you can't love nothin' unless there's somethin' in it for you_

Zulema’s eyes fall to Macarena’s hands that are suddenly convulsively clinging onto the exposed skin of her stomach. 

And just when the crowd starts dancing to the chorus again, their eyes meet. 

Macarena’s eyes full of tears and pain.

Zulema’s eyes only asking one question.

_What happened to you?_

Macarena can’t continue. If it hadn’t been for the loud music swallowing the choked sob that was tempting to slip past her lips she would have been exposed to a huge crowd of people in the middle of a breakdown. 

But she is already out of the hall and in the back of the barn, searching for some peace and quiet behind the wooden door of the bathroom. She walks to the sink and opens the water tap to cool down her burning cheeks and momentarily covers her face with her hands. 

Before Armando had come to Madrid, life here had been good. She could work without thinking too much about a blue pair of eyes burning into her skin, she could walk through the streets without the fear of being stopped by this man and she could listen to whatever kind of music with whatever kind of lyrics without having a mental breakdown that got triggered by memories she’d rather forget. 

She is so lost in her own thoughts and the attempt of calming down that she doesn’t notice the door swinging open until she hears the door lock and freezes in her place once more. 

_Could he possibly…?_

Macarena slowly raises her head and gives her reflection a look before turning her head, prepared to find those blue eyes greeting her with the most fake smile. 

But they aren’t blue. They’re green. 

‘’It’s just me.’’ The soothing voice sounds behind her.

Macarena straightens her posture and turns around, ready to give Zulema a poor excuse for what happened on the dancefloor and taking advantage of her acting skills but the brunette is faster than her and before she even has the chance to speak after opening her mouth, Zulema interrupts her. 

‘’You don’t have to pretend you’re okay, you know?’’ 

That was something Maca hadn’t expected. She stays quiet and watches as Zulema reduces the distance between them until she is standing in front of her, the blonde leaning against the sink behind her as her gaze falls to the floor. She hates the fact that she can’t make Zulema take her excuses, it has always worked with everyone. 

Everyone except for Lidia and Zulema. 

‘’I don’t know what happened to you Macarena, and I surely won’t force you to talk about anything you’re not comfortable telling me but trust me when I say it gets easier once you talk about it. I don’t know for how long you have been eating all of this up but it the only thing it does is do you harm.’’ Zulema looks at Maca, or the wreck of the authentic blonde she got to know and when a tear falls down her cheek, she wants nothing more to reach out and wipe it away. But after the way they seperated the last time, Zulema isn’t quite sure whether or not Maca is in the right state for any kind of physical contact.

But Macarena answers that question before she can spend another second thinking about it. 

All of the sudden, she finds the blonde’s arms wrapped around her body, her head pressed against her chest and Zulema involuntarily freezes at the body contact. She is not used to this kind of affection, nor does she really know whether she likes it or not. Affection wasn’t really her thing, including hugs.

But something in the way that Macarena was holding onto her for dear life, as if _she_ was the only person who could possibly save her from this misery that was her life, switched something inside of her. 

Her arms find their way around the slim body and before she knows, she is looking at her reflection holding a tiny blonde close to herself in an attempt to give her a part of the comfort she needs so desperately.

‘’ _Lo siento’’_ Whispers her quiet voice. 

‘’ _No pasa nada, rubia.’’_

Zulema lets go of her and looks down into the puffy hazel eyes that are now gazing at her through thick black lashes. She knows Maca is referring to the incident that happened the previous night, and though there are millions of emotions and unspoken words going through each of their heads and features at that moment. 

Zulema realizes that she can’t leave Maca alone with everything that is going on right now. This man is dangerous, who knows what he is capable of. Zulema knows enough people that could easily take care of him if necessary. But that would also mean she will have to get her hands dirty again. Not enough time has passed since she got out of prison, everyone still has an eye on her. So getting into business again would also mean having to disappear again. And deep down, she knows that she can’t just leave the tiny blonde to herself, even if her abusive ex is gone. 

That exact tiny blonde is still looking at her and dealing with her own inner battle. Maca knows she shouldn’t be this upfront, hugging Zulema might not have been her smartest move but she just needed _something._ And her reaction had given her more answers than she would have ever gotten if she had asked the brunette with words. Sometimes, actions speak louder than words ever could.

‘’A penny for your thoughts, rubi.’’ Zulema mumbles as her brows disappear under her bangs.

Macarena hesitates, her eyes momentarily fall to Zulema’s lips before quickly gazing back up into her favorite pair of green eyes.

‘’Are you going to come back home with me?’’

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> find me on twitter and instagram for updates and sneak peeks xx  
> @sapphiccivantos


	12. the proposal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> surprise and welcome back to another roller coaster ^^  
> the first part of this story is slowly coming to an end, on december 31st you'll get the last chapter of Faking it, but don't worry. The sequel is in its making xx 
> 
> this chapter includes a few songs again and as per usual i highly recommend listening to them while reading the chapter, it really helps with the imagination, you'll know when to play them once you read :)
> 
> song number one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-d6auU97sk  
> song number two: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f43nR8Wu_1Y
> 
> also a little side note: I promise you I am not stealing any ideas from other writers or fics, there is a one shot that features the same song I used here but I didn't read it yet on purpose, I want to come up with my own ideas and thus promise you I am not using other people's ideas although there might be a few similarities to others here and there
> 
> but enough talking, happy reading!

‘’ _Vamos, rubia!_ We’re gonna be late!’’ Zulema says and peaks into the bedroom where Macarena is currently busy standing half naked in front of the mirror with a black dress and a black pantsuit in either of her hands. 

‘’You can go already, I’ll catch up. You’re Saray’s best man so you gotta be there earlier than I do and I still haven’t done my makeup nor chosen what I will be wearing.’’ Macarena says distractedly before meeting Zulema’s figure in the mirror. ‘’Look at you in a dress. Who thought the day would come I’d ever see you in something else than cargo pants and a hoodie.’’ The blonde teases with a light smile on her lips.

After having left the party a little earlier than planned, they didn’t bother to talk about anything that happened. Like all the previous times, both of them pretended nothing ever got in their way and they moved on telling themselves that all of this would be over in two more weeks once Armando had left the city again and this terror was over.

Although both of them silently think their _‘what if’_ s. 

‘’There’s a first for everything.’’ Zulema winks and wipes a loose strand of hair behind her ear that was decorated with her three silver hoop earrings. 

Macarena just smiles to herself and holds the pantsuit in front of her body again.

Zulema is just about to leave when she takes one last glance at the blonde.

‘’ _Oye, rubi.’’_

Macarena turns around again, the black clothing still in front of her.

Zulema points her finger at the piece and nods. ‘’Wear that one. We’re gonna make one hell of a couple.’’ She says with a grin before grabbing her keys and out of the apartment on her way to her best friend’s wedding.

It really does feel against her nature to wear a _dress,_ even though this isn’t exactly the first time she agrees to wearing one. It all depends on the occasion. As a child, she wore them every now and then. Not the cliche kind of pieces in pink or with flowers, the ones she wore were usually black or dark blue. However, she eventually started to realize she intimidated other people with chains and oversized clothes and soon enough loved the dominance and control it gained her. 

The day her and Saray had gone out to look for a suit for her friend’s wedding, Saray had dared Zulema to try on one of those _‘fancy-tight-bombshell-dresses’._ The chosen piece wasn’t exactly what Zulema would associate with a bombshell, but after having left into a clothing cabin with the black velvet dress, she had taken a look into the mirror and actually liked the sight she had been met with. 

And now, here she was. Zulema Zahir, wearing a black velvet designer dress. Turtleneck and cut out shoulder included, and to make it extra and add a little bit of Zulema style to it, a white snake crawled its way up from her left sleeve to the middle of her chest. 

When she arrived in front of Saray’s door, Zulema honked the horn and two seconds later Saray made her way towards the scorpion’s car. 

They exchanged some small talk on their way to the location that was set in the mountains and once Zulema parked the car, she looked over to her friend who was sitting next to her with a calm and peaceful expression on her face.

‘’Ready for your big day?’’ She asks and gives Saray a soft smile.

‘’ _Hombre, claro!’’_ Saray replies with a big grin spread across her face as she opens her arms and raises her brows. ‘’Who if not me?’’

Zulema chuckles and reaches into the glove compartment of her car to grab a small box and hands it to the other woman. 

‘’What’s that?’’ 

‘’Open it.’’

Saray is met with the sight of a small pin in the shape of a scorpion and looks at Zulema whose features have softened immensely. Saray was the only person Zulema would trust with her life. The brunette was the only person that knows everything about her and her life, hell, she even helped her to get out of jail when times were tough. And now, here she was. About to get married.

‘’ _Felicidades, gitana.’’_

They exchanged a soft smile before Saray leaned over and pulled Zulema into a hug. 

The two women got out of the car and when Zulema helped Saray to put the pin onto her suit, she happily smiled at the result.

‘’You look beautiful.’’ 

‘’So do you Zule, never thought I would actually see you attend my wedding in a dress.’’ Saray smirks and playfully pokes the white head of the snake on Zulema’s chest. 

The older woman playfully rolls her eyes at the familiar comment but can’t help to let the laugh slip past her lips. ‘’Yeah I think I am going to hear that one quite often tonight. Macarena said the same thing.’’

‘’Speaking of, where is la rubia?’’

‘’Probably busy fixing her makeup. But she should be here anytime soon. I sent her the location right before we came here.’’ Zulema explains as they make their way towards the altar. 

She looks around and shakes her head at her friend’s taste. It was all a bit too sparkly for her liking, but then again, Saray and Maria were two hopelessly romantic souls and it was actually quite decent for their reputation. 

Everything was set on top of a big mountain with an amazing panorama view. The tree next to the altar was covered in yellow LED-lights that matched the golden dishes and chairs all around the place. On the tables stood little glasses filled with roses and candles located next to them. 

The building next to them owned the main dancefloor for the afterparty, the buffet and most importantly the stage for all the fun games later. 

Zulema watches as the first guests find their way to their seats after greeting her and Saray. Macarena still isn’t there. She checks the watch on her arm.

‘’Don’t worry Zule, Cinderella will attend the ball.’’ Saray mumbles as she looks at her friend.

‘’The only Cinderella today will be Maria, but yeah I was just wondering where she’s at. Macarena is usually on time. From what I know she never uses much makeup either so I really don’t know what’s taking her so long. ’’ Zulema replies with a shrug, trying her best to remain unbothered while her brain is already making up the worst scenarios of Armando breaking into the blonde’s apartment and causing more trauma than Macarena already had to face. But that thought is quickly abandoned when she sees Lucifer’s face in the company of a pretty ginger Zulema has never seen before. Probably one of Maria’s friends, however he managed to do that.

‘’I think there is the answer to your question.’’ Saray mumbles when the requested blonde gets out of the car and makes her way towards the guests. 

Zulema looks in Saray’s direction before averting her eyes from the brunette to look at the woman that had gained her attention. 

There she was, standing in her black pantsuit with matching heels that made the tiny blonde seem taller and thus definitely more confident than she already was. And she looked as beautiful as ever. 

Macarena had followed Zulema’s advice and went with the pantsuit that consisted of black pants and a blazer. But instead of the classic wedding guest outfit, this one came with a completely transparent shirt. The only thing covering up at least a little bit of skin was a snake that seemed to slide up one’s chest. 

Her golden curls are tamed into a half bun that is decorated with a little golden clip on the back of her head. She really does look like a whole goddess, the only thing missing now is her other half. But one glance to the front and she finds the woman in question already staring at her. 

Their eyes meet and the two of them exchange a hidden smile before Maca leaves to her seat and waits for the ceremony to start. 

‘’Wow Zule, you even came in matching costumes, eh?’’ Saray grins.

‘’ _Calla.’’_ Zule mumbles once she finally manages to take her eyes off Macarena and watches as everyone raises from their seats to welcome the bride. 

The ceremony was held simple, classic and traditional. 

The officiant addresses family and friends, then the couple, vows are exchanged and make the audience - especially Macarena - tear up a little. Rings are exchanged and finally the two women are officially married. Maca wipes a tear or two and steals a glance at Zulema who, much to her own surprise, tries not to show her emotional side in front of all these people. But it is _Saray_ who’s getting married and seeing her best friend as happy as ever does something, even to her. 

Soon enough after plenty of congratulations the wedding party splits into little groups, Some people stay outside and enjoy the view with a glass of champagne, others make their way inside to reserve a seat and check out the stage and dance floor. 

Zulema and Macarena find themselves outside with Saray and Maria and a few of their friends chatting about god knows what when someone they would rather not see joins the gathering. 

‘’Cheers to the happy couple!’’ Armando exclaims as he raises his glass and looks around the guests as they copy his movement and take a sip of their liquor. Even Macarena who purposely avoids eye contact - in contrast to Zulema who doesn’t even bother to raise her glass and just gives the man a death glare. 

While everyone else returns to their talk about the freshly married couple, Macarena hooks her arm through Zulema’s and lays her head on the brunette’s shoulder in an attempt to escape her ex’s burning gaze by acting like a normal girlfriend. But this seems to have just the opposite effect. 

‘’Speaking of beautiful couples that are head over heels in love,’’ Armando starts, his eyes switching between Macarena and Zulema. ‘’How did you two fall in love? What’s your story?’’ 

Macarena flinches at the memory of her asking Zulema the same question. Her eyes look at him, then up to Zulema before she takes another long sip to empty the glass in her hands. Wrong timing. Wrong place. Wrong everything. 

Her and Zulema had never talked about this although this might have been one of the first and most important things to solve when you agree to fake dating. But whatever. Depending on Zulema’s mood and ability to control her sarcastic ass, this would either result in a simple and short anecdote, or it would be a total disaster. And something was telling her it would be the latter. 

‘’Well, _Armi._ Actually it was a day like every other. I woke up, went to Saray’s place, had dinner with her and swiped.’’

Macarena’s heart drops at the thought of everyone knowing they met on _Tinder_ of all places. She had a reputation and sure as hell didn’t want to lose it to a stupid dating app. Not that anyone seemed to care for all that matters, but Macarena would rather choke than give Armando that satisfaction of thinking she was desperate enough to try a dating app.

‘’It’s sweep cari, not swipe.’’ Maca tries and unnoticeably nudges the brunette’s waist who gives her a confused look. Of course she wouldn’t get the hint. 

The blonde clears her throat and looks around the people. ‘’What she is trying to say is that she was swept off her feet when she first saw me in the restaurant she was sitting in with Saray.’’

Zulema snorts and shakes her head. Two can play this game.

‘’Yeah but that’s only because I was so mesmerized by the look on your face... after you spilled red wine over your white dress while getting up from your table.’’ She fires back and the two women finally make eye contact when Maca pulls away from Zulema’s arm and raises her brows with an open mouth. Of course Zulema would make this even harder for her. She snaps back.

‘’Yeah, if your drunk ass hadn’t blurted out ‘ _Oyee rubita!!’_ and waved towards my direction I wouldn’t have gotten distracted and ran into a waiter. Were you that desperate to get my attention?’’ Maca teases as her brows disappear further beneath her blonde bangs.

Zulema squints her eyes at the younger woman and gives her a look that says something among the lines ‘ _you’re gonna regret this’_ before she speaks again.

“Well, in my defense _rubia..._ you were wearing a very nicely fitting backless dress. As you came to discover later on, I do love to see you from behind...’’

Macarena’s eyes widen at that last sentence and she can instantly feel her cheeks burn hotter - howerer, she’s not sure if it’s from embarrassment or her sense memory making her body react to the flashbacks that came onto her mind. She bites her tongue to avoid snarking back at Zulema, and she tries to hide her reaction as much as she can even though her cheeks are glowing with a reddish color. Zulema smugly grins at her and the people around the table giggle amusedly at the confession. She should have known this would be a lost battle the second she started fighting the brunette on her little story. 

Saray is watching their staring battle closely, the grin on her face growing wider with each passing second. These two idiots really were too dumb to just get over it and admit they like each other, but what was a best friend’s job if not to give them a helping hand?

‘’What a lovely story, straight out of a fairytale. Now, before you two finally snap, start fighting and have angry sex in a bathroom stall at _my_ wedding, please just kiss each other and make up, _vale?_ ’’ Saray opens her arms with arched brows and tilts her head to the side before motioning her hand towards Macarena while giving Zulema a look. ‘’ _Venga, Zule!_ _Kiss your girl already!_ _’’_

Macarena’s head shoots towards Saray who gives her a wink and mouths ‘ _you’re welcome’_ that makes the blonde’s blood boil… with anticipation.

Zulema and her hadn’t kissed, ever. It’s not like her head has never gone there, in fact, whenever they had shared the smallest kinds of moments, she wondered what it would feel like to be kissed by the brunette. Even kissing her first, taking initiative and reading the language her body would speak… no, the thought of it definitely wasn’t new to Macarena. But standing here, at Saray’s wedding, in front of her manipulative ex boyfriend… not the best occasion for a first kiss, and most definitely not how she pictured it happening.

She doesn’t even dare to look at Zulema when her body flinches at the sudden movement of the brunette grabbing her wrist and placing a kiss onto the back of her hand. 

‘’You’re forgiven, _rubia.’’_ Zulema says with a sweet, sarcastic smile while Macarena just stands there in the center of attention that for once actually makes her uncomfortable. Her mouth opens as if she is trying to say something, but out comes nothing. She closes it again and frowns when she turns her head to give Zulema a questioning and confused look. _That’s it?_

Saray and Maria exchange a look before Maria looks at the couple and puts on the same shit eating grin as her wife. ‘’I don’t think Saray meant the hands when she said ‘kiss each other’ guys.’’ 

Zulema growls to herself and looks at the blonde just in second for their eyes to meet. She knows that if they want to keep up their story, they would have to kiss each other. Right now. 

This time Zulema leans in and pecks Macarena’s lips as quickly as humanly possible which gets her nothing but an even more frustrated Saray, the booing from the people around the table and in deeper shit. 

‘’ _ZULE, TÍA!’’_ Saray groans and arches her brows inhumanly widely. ‘’Give her a real kiss, joder!’’ She shouts and eventually gets the rest of the guests to agree with her and cheer for the strange couple to finally kiss each other. 

Macarena and Zulema exchange a look. Maca blushes, Zulema huffs and looks away.

If it hadn’t been Saray’s wedding she would have just left and refused to let her best friend get her into a situation like this. But blondie’s stupid ex was there, and she didn’t want to fuck everything up for Macarena right there. 

They lock their gazes on one another for a second. Two. Three of complete silence. Just when Macarena turns her head after making the assumption Zulema wouldn’t make a move and tries to get away from the embarrassment, she feels a cold pair of hands cupping her face before a hot pair of lips crashes against her own. 

Macarena’s eyes are wide open in shock at the initial touch, but the surprise is quickly replaced by the feeling of Zulema’s lips fitting perfectly against her own, making her eyes flutter shut, and it all feels so incredibly right. Even the blindest of all people would have noticed the way she melts right there in Zulema’s hands. 

The kiss doesn’t last long. Two, maybe three seconds. Then the soft pair of lips is gone and Zulema opens her eyes to a very shy pair of hazel eyes staring right into hers. 

_Did she notice?_ Macarena wonders and briefly clears her throat when she turns away from the brunette and everyone around them starts clapping with excitement. 

‘’Fucking finally!’’ Saray exclaims and motions for everyone to go to the hall to find their seats for lunch. ‘’The buffet is opened!’’

* * *

For around half an hour the guests sit in the room and enjoy the light atmosphere with some classic wedding anthems playing quietly in the background. Even Zulema and Macarena manage to have an easy conversation about the blonde’s next projects, about the wedding organization and Saray and her wife eventually join them with some honeymoon talk. 

In due course, once everyone has finished their food and the guests, Saray takes a look around the wedding party and finally raises from her seat and taps her glass with a spoon in order to get everyone’s attention. A well known melody begins to play on the piano from across the room and it takes Macarena a moment to realize what it is. 

‘’I would like to take this opportunity to simp over my wife by the sound of her favorite movie soundtrack playing in the background. Most of you are either going to love or hate this song, but who am I to deny my wife what she loves the most and not give her a speech that is as special as she is?’’ Saray begins and gives Maria a gentle smile while the Titanic soundtrack softly fills the room with a romantic and incredibly large amount of emotions. 

Zulema chuckles and shakes her head at her friend. She’s always had this dirty humor and a tough shell, but when it comes to the ones she loves, Saray would always do everything to make them feel their best. She is truly in awe of her.

‘’Four years ago, I met you at a party. Call it a cliche, but you really did grab my attention the second I first laid eyes on you. But was it love at first sight? Uh, no.’’ Saray shakes her head and the guests chuckle softly as does Maria at the memory. ‘’You were so cocky and tried to convince me of the fact that you don’t eat like a baby although I had just seen you spill a salsa dip all over the table. But anyways,’’ Saray trails off as Maria feings annoyance at the accusation, although the way she was smiling gave her off completely. Saray took her wife’s hand, pulling her closer to herself and giving her a gentle peck on the lips before continuing her speech.

Zulema watches as Saray’s eyes sparkle with love and how Maria’s glow matches her best friends’ and for the first time in years, she actually isn’t disgusted by the sight of love that is _this_ romantic.

‘’I did ask you out on a date and proved that I was right. You had ketchup all over your mouth.’’ There’s more laughter, but Zulema is so distracted that she doesn’t even notice. 

Everything Saray was saying just seemed too familiar. As if she was subconsciously telling her and Macarena’s story. 

She subtly looks over at Macarena whose eyes start to fill with tears as she listens to Saray who had gone down a softer and more emotional part at this point.

‘’If someone had told me that I would be marrying the woman who made me lose my mind like that, I wouldn’t have believed them. The timing wasn’t right, things got really complicated. We both fell for each other at a time neither of us was ready to be loved. We fought so hard against our feelings, constantly telling ourselves that there wasn’t a chance that this could work out and that maybe we were the wrong choice for each other. But in the end… I realized that nothing ever felt so right in my life like you do.’’ Saray continues and Zulema watches as Macarena wipes a tear. The only thing going through her mind that moment was the fact that the blonde looked as beautiful as ever with her teary eyes, a slightly reddened nose and the softest look on her face. 

If Macarena noticed Zulema’s gaze, she didn’t show. Everything about this moment was way too perfect for her to ruin it by making eye contact with the brunette and catching her staring. 

But within the blink of an eye, the look on the blonde’s face suddenly changes when Saray mentions the date.

‘’So here is to us my dear. Today, on the 22nd of November-’’ Macarena doesn’t hear the rest of the sentence. Her eyes shoot over to Armando who is sitting on the table to their opposite, already staring directly at her. 

She hadn’t realized what date it was until Saray had spoken it out loud. The suppression still sat deep in her bones, but ever since this man had come back to her life, little by little, the memories came back and hit her all over again with twice their intensity. 

Zulema watches as Macarena clears her throat and gets up from the table to head towards the direction of the bathrooms. She doesn’t really know what to do, stay here and give her the time she needs to come back or follow her and finally confront her about everything she is still hiding from her?

Armando makes the choice for her when he gets up and begins to walk towards the same direction as Macarena. 

‘’Don’t you even think about it.’’ Zulema mumbles to herself and gives Saray a quick apologizing look before getting up herself and following the man with quick steps. 

They cross a corner and just when Armando is about to lay his hand onto the doorknob, she pushes him away by his arm and gives him a warning look. 

‘’This is the ladie’s room. I don’t think Saray would like to see a man invading a woman’s privacy at her own wedding.’’ She growls and when Armando just laughs at her with a shake of his head, she adds ‘’You either leave right now and leave Macarena alone or I will make sure you’re seeing a prison from the inside tomorrow.’’ 

Armando holds up his hand in surrender, however the smile on his face doesn’t disappear when he walks up to her until he reaches her ear with his mouth. ‘’Careful Zahir. You’re playing with fire.’’ 

Then he’s gone. 

Zulema knows he is a man with a powerful position, and she also knows she still has to be careful with what she does if she doesn’t want to end up back in jail anytime soon again. She had fought for her freedom for way too long to waste it on a piece of shit like him. 

After a frustrated growl, she opens the door and gets into the bathroom where Macarena just got out of a stall and briefly looks at her before turning her attention towards her own reflection in the mirror as she washes her hands and fixes her makeup. 

‘’What is it with you following me into bathroom stalls? Do you have an obsession or something?’’ Macarena asks and wipes the smudged mascara off her face. 

Zulema is taken aback by the coldness in the blonde’s voice. Almost like a hurt deer that is trying to pull up her walls in order to seem less hurt than it actually is. 

‘’What happened, _rubia?_ Ever since you first got this text message you’ve been acting weird and I feel like I only know a part of the story.’’ Zulema leans against the wall, crossing her arms in front of her chest,her eyes glued to Macarena. 

‘’Can you stop it with the questionnaire? Since when do you care so fucking much?’’ Macarena shoots back as she turns around to face Zulema.

That one is quiet for a moment. The blonde is right. Since when does she care so fucking much? She knows that Maca is probably coming from a place of hurt right now, but nevertheless the way she’s acting makes Zulema pull up her own walls again and bring up the facade the blonde had started to tear down little by little. 

‘’I don’t. But I am the one who is keeping your ex off your ass while I am trying to pretend to be the perfect girlfriend in front of everyone for your own sake, Macarena. Weren’t you the one that asked me to do this in the first place?’’ Zulema spits and if she didn’t know the blonde any better she could have sworn that Macarena was about to slap her by the way she suddenly approaches her. But she doesn’t.

Instead, Macarena grabs her wrist and pulls her into the next bathroom stall where she pushes Zulema against the wall and instantly begins to press kisses onto the older woman’s neck. 

‘’What the fuck are you doing?’’ Zulema hisses and pushes a breathless Macarena off her body who fixes her smudged lipstick.

‘’Pretending to be horny at a friend’s wedding and fucking my ‘perfect girlfriend’ in a bathroom stall.’’ Maca replies and before Zulema could say a word after opening her mouth, the younger woman’s hand shoots up to cover it. ‘’Don’t say anything. I _really_ don’t want to explain myself for what happened out there now. So, _please._ Just help me forget for a moment.’’ 

The hand that had been covering her mouth slowly leaves Zulema’s lips and there is just silence between the two of them, until Zulema forms a fist in blonde hair and pulls Macarena’s head back to greet her neck with wet kisses. But when she tries to shove her hand into the black pantsuit, she is stopped. 

‘’No…’’ Macarena breathes. ‘’Please don’t touch me right now. Just… let me.’’ 

Zulema feasts her eyes on the blonde who lowers herself onto the floor and looks up into her eyes while slowly shoving her black dress up her thighs before breaking the eye contact and bringing her head underneath the clothing. 

Zulema stares at the wall in front of her. What the fuck was she doing? Allowing someone, allowing _Macarena_ to go down on her in a public place? Going down on her at all? 

She is used to giving. Not receiving. 

But the second she feels Macarena’s mouth sucking on her through her panties, she loses focus of the thousand reasons she shouldn’t allow this and closes her eyes instead just as the fabric is pushed to the side and the blonde’s wet tongue trails up her center, she scratches Macarena’s head through the dress that’s covering her head. Zulema’s mouth falls open at the sudden sensation and although she would rather suffocate on those words than ever saying them out loud, she had to admit to herself that Macarena’s tongue is _skilled._

Her head falls back against the wall when Macarena increases the motions of her tongue and once she’s wet enough, the blonde wastes no time to slip a finger inside. They don’t have too much time, they both know and Maca shows by picking up a steady face of her fingers only to slide another one in and wrap her lips around the small bundle of nerves that’s throbbing for the blonde’s attention. 

It usually takes Zulema a while to even get to the edge, let alone to fully embrace her climax and come undone. But _fuck,_ Macarena really does know what she’s doing and Zulema feels herself getting closer by the second. She is just about to stumble straight to the edge when suddenly, the door to the bathroom opens and Saray’s voice echoes through the room.

‘’ _Oye Zule,_ are you done? I wanna cut the cake!’’ 

Zulema bites her bottom lip and digs her fingernails into Macarena’s scalp through the dress in an attempt to get the younger woman to stop for a second. 

‘’I’m coming, just a second.’’ She says with her best poker voice, but Saray is quick to notice something was wrong. Zulema can almost hear the shit eating smirk on her friend’s face. 

‘’Alright, but whatever problem your stomach is dealing with right now, hurry up. And greet la rubia from me!’’ Then the bathroom door is closed. 

Zulema flinches when Maca’s tongue flicks against her clit and she lets out a deep throaty groan, almost subconsciously pushing her hips against the woman’s face again. 

‘’ _Puta zorra’’_ She grumbles and feels the chuckle coming from underneath her dress before Maca returns to her task and makes Zulema come within less than two more minutes. 

* * *

Around fifteen minutes later the two women find themselves at the table again, casually eating their cake and dipping back into conversations with the rest of the wedding party. Everyone was pretty much enjoying the casualties, even Zulema who actually hates weddings. 

For some reason, they come to talk about her and Macarena’s actual first date and Saray can’t help but spill the fact that Zulema smeared ketchup on the blonde’s nose at which everyone laughs and even Macarena, who tries to roll her eyes, can’t help herself from smiling. 

She should have seen it coming. She was at a wedding with _Zulema_ after all. But she didn't see the whipped cream coming that suddenly landed on her nose. 

‘’What-’’ Macarena stutters and looks down at the white cream on her face. The sight of the blonde being cross-eyed in the attempt of looking at her nose makes Zulema burst into laughter and she actually has to cover her face and gather herself for a moment before she is able to look back at the blonde who makes a grimace and tries to lick it off with the tip of her tongue.

She actually has to giggle herself when she sees Zulema having fun and laughing so freely, even if it is at her own cost. 

‘’You look like you need some help.’’ The brunette figures and maybe it’s the champagne joined with the post-orgasm hormones going through her body that makes Zulema act so light-headed and careless but before she can think twice, she is already licking off the sweet foam off the blonde’s nose.

She expected her to give her a weird look or something like that, but Macarena giggling even more makes her own smile curl up her lips once more. Zulema felt weirdly relieved to see that the blonde was actually having fun again after the moment she had earlier, and Macarena couldn’t help but think that Zulema always managed to make her feel better even when she’s not trying to do so. 

Saray and Maria exchange a knowing look in a moment of silence and after Maca cleaned her nose with a napkin and the people around the table hop into another topic, she sends a text message to Rizos, blurting out to her friend what wouldn’t leave her mind.

  * _Do you think it is possible to fall in love with someone in just two weeks?_



‘’Maca!’’ A loud voice calls. 

The blonde looks up from her phone in confusion and searches for the female voice that had just called her. 

‘’A little bird told me that you can sing… _entonces, mi amor. Ven aquí y canta conmigo_!’’ Maria held out her hand for Maca to join her as the instrumental version of ‘Something stupid’ started to play and Saray’s wife begins to sing. 

_I know I stand in line until you think you have the time to spend an evening with me_

_And if we go someplace to dance I know that there's a chance you won't be leaving with me_

Macarena gets up and makes her way towards the stage without thinking twice. Singing was one of the things she knew how to do best and she is more than happy to join Maria for a duet. 

  
  


_And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two_

_And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like I love you_

Macarena finally reaches the stage and grabs the second microphone, starting to sing together with the brunette as she wears a bright smile on her lips. 

_I can see it in your eyes you still despise the same old lines you heard the night before_

_And though it's just a line to you for me it's true and never seemed so right before_

The words leave her mouth without Macarena having to waste a second thought about their meaning but when the instrumental part of the song is due, she suddenly realizes what exactly she is singing about. Just then, her watch lights up with a new message from Rizos. 

  * _absolutely!_



As if this had been the sign Macarena had been waiting for all along, she finally realized what has been happening all night long. 

She slowly but surely fell for Zulema.

After doing all these things together that a normal couple at a wedding would do, she had lost her facade and out had come a Macarena as comfortable as ever. Despite her ex being there. It suddenly didn’t seem to matter anymore. 

The bright smile on the blonde’s features doesn’t go unnoticed by Zulema. She would get back to that later. For now, she is distracted by the woman on stage singing in her cute and soothing voice in a way that seems like she is trying to tell her something. And it is when their eyes meet, that Zulema finally understands.

_The time is right, your perfume fills my head the stars get red and oh, the night's so blue_

_And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like_

_I love you_

Of course Zulema knows that Maca doesn’t _love_ her just yet. But maybe now the time is right to accept the fact that there is more between them than just a fake romance. 

* * *

After three more hours of wedding games, karaoke and even dancing together to George Michael’s ‘Careless whisper’, Macarena and Zulema have returned to the younger woman’s apartment again. Not many words were exchanged, the mood was seemingly light between them and a simple smile and a ‘ _buenas noches’_ was everything. 

But half an hour later in the middle of a thunderstorm, both of them are laying wide awake with several things on their minds. 

Zulema laid on the couch with that day’s events on her mind. The way she had seen Macarena appear in the aisle as if she was the actual bride, their forced kiss, the feeling of her lips against her own, the sex, the song, the dancing… everything. 

Yet, the thing that actually left her sleepless was the sudden change of emotions in Macarena’s eyes when Saray had said the date out loud. Something must have triggered the blonde and it had something to do with the son of a bitch she called her ex. But even after an hour of thinking, Zulema still doesn’t have an answer.

Sleepless as she is, her feet carry her to the kitchen to get a glass of water when suddenly, the room lights up and a massive thunder growls outside that makes even her flinch.

‘’ _Joder…’’_ She mumbles and shakes her head at herself while drinking her water and another thunder sounds through the apartment. But this time in union with a different sound she can’t immediately put her finger on. 

When she hears it again, without the thunder swallowing it this time, she knows what it is. 

Macarena. Crying. 

On the other side of the door Macarena failed to suffocate her sobs with the thunder. After her and Zulema had gotten home, the final stage after drinking alcohol had started to kick in. Once all the euphoria was gone, the recent events started to kick in until she had been reminded of the part where Saray had mentioned the date and triggered one of the blonde’s worst memories. And now, she is laying in bed, crying everything out for the very first time. 

She had also thought that Zulema would be sound asleep by now, but when she hears the door open behind her she knows she was wrong and immediately swallows the upcoming sob. 

Zulema finds the blonde curled up under the covers of her bed. With her back facing her and the blonde curls all over the place she reminds Zulema of a helpless newborn that just got ripped out of its warmth and is thrown into the coldness of life. 

She isn’t even sure why she had decided to open the door in the first place, and now that she is standing in the blonde’s bedroom she has even less of an idea of what the actual fuck she is doing. 

The thunderstorm is still going strong outside and for a little while, Zulema watches the shaking body and considers to turn around and leave, but when Macarena buries her head further into her pillow she can’t bring herself to. She finds herself sitting next to the blonde and pulls her knees up to her chest, just accompanying Macarena for now, although the silence between them is almost unbearable. 

And eventually, Macarena decides that it is time to open up her heart if she wants Zulema to stay in her life. 

And so she begins to tell her the whole truth. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to sapphiczule for reading this over and adding a little detail here and there <3 love you  
> I'm sapphiccivantos on twitter and instagram xx


	13. lightning and thunder

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yet another week of tissues  
> tw: mentions of abuse/trauma

‘’It was supposed to be my wedding anniversary today.’’ Macarena begins and if Zulema thought that this woman couldn’t shock her any more, she was proven wrong just then. But despite her urge to ask the million questions that are going through her mind, she watches as Maca slides a hand beneath her head and continues staring outside at the snowflakes that slowly start to paint the streets outside white, back still facing the raven-haired woman as she feels the Zulema’s gaze on her. 

‘’I never thought about it again after I left Malaga. But when Saray mentioned the date it just hit me again. Today, four years ago, I was standing in the hallway right in front of the door to the church, looking as beautiful as ever, I had the perfect dress, the perfect hairstyle, perfect makeup, everything was just the way every girl always dreams about when they’re young. I was ready to start this new chapter of my life. But he never showed up. He left me standing there, humiliated in front of that church.’’ Macarena stops and wipes a tear that had started to make its way down her cheek. 

The truth is, she is scared to tell the whole story. Scared that Zulema will think she was insane for willing to marry this man after what he put her through. But it’s now or never, she already started to finally tell her story and she would explain it all until Zulema will have heard every last detail. 

‘’I was pregnant. Four weeks in. I had just found out and wanted to surprise him after work. Things had slowly started to look better for us, he had promised me to never lay hands on me again, you know? I believed him. After what I told you about the whole casino thing he eventually apologized and I thought this baby would be a way for us to find our way back to each other. He was so happy when he found out.’’ Macarena’s voice begins to tremble again. Reliving the past like this was harder than she had thought it would be, it feels like everything comes crashing down all at once again and all the pain she had to go through becomes visible once more.

‘’He proposed to me the day after, I said yes. And I really, really thought we could go back to the way we used to be when we first fell in love. But  _ god,  _ was I wrong.’’ She laughs to herself, a bitter, sad chuckle, almost as if she is mocking herself for being stupid enough to believe a single word he ever told her. 

‘’Two weeks later he came home drunk again-’’ Macarena stops to bury her face in the pillow to suffocate a sob. If she starts crying again now, there’s no way out. She won’t break down because of her past in front of the woman who could possibly be her future. 

Although this is easier to say than to do, the sobs that keep crawling up her throat make it hard for her to breathe, let alone talk. Just when she feels like her chest is going to explode from the burning pain the lack of oxygen is responsible for, a gentle touch allows her to breathe again. 

Zulema’s hand runs over her arm until it reaches her shoulder where it rests in a silent act of comfort and most importantly, an encouragement to keep going. A silent and unspoken ‘ _ It’s okay, I’m here.’  _

‘’He beat me until I was laying on the floor and couldn’t feel my body anymore. And then I felt the blood running down my thighs.’’ Zulema hears the blonde say when she feels the arm beneath her hand move and watches it copy the motion of digging her hand into her stomach, just like she did at the party the other day. 

So there was the explanation. 

Macarena had lost her baby. 

As if the blonde can hear her brain putting the pieces of the puzzle together, she begins to cry just when the realization hits Zulema, but if it wasn’t for the subtle shaking of the body beneath her she wouldn’t even have noticed. 

Maca runs a hand over her face and tries to process all the thoughts that are going through her head all over again. She had always wanted a child of her own so badly, which was the main reason she had stayed with Armando, even after everything that had already happened before that. She had always been strong enough to get over everything and continually managed to find the good pieces of the man’s heart even after everything he put her through. 

But losing her child had been the ultimate violation that finally opened her eyes and made her realize it couldn’t go on like this. The night she lost her baby, Armando had lost her heart. 

‘’Up to this day I can not believe it took me this long to understand how toxic he was. I am sad that it took this huge amount of pain to wake me up.’’ Macarena paused and bit her bottom lip hard, debating whether or not to say the thing that has been on her mind for the past four years, the thing she has never confessed to anyone. Not even her therapist. Yet, Zulema’s steady breathing behind her gives her the amount of comfort she needs.

‘’Do you know what’s the worst part of all this?’’ She asks quietly.

‘’What?’’ Zulema slowly runs her thumb over Macarena’s shoulder, encouraging her to divulge.

‘’I am relieved I lost it. If it hadn’t been for this loss, I might have never left him. I have always wanted a baby so badly that it hurts me  _ so  _ much to admit that this is something that… in the end, made my life better.’’ Macarena finally finishes. 

She has stopped crying at this point, it feels like all the tears have left her body and took the pain with them. All that’s left is a numb shell with a broken heart that is too damaged to heal without any scars. But her mother had always told her that scars are the marks that truly make you unique and beautiful. 

Zulema sighs at the small body in front of her. There are so many things she wants to tell Maca, so many words that won’t leave her mouth because she simply doesn’t  _ do  _ comfort and affection that easily. This was already more than she is used to. But something deep inside of her knew it would be the right and only occasion to give Macarena something of her own life in return.

‘’Can you just… hold me?’’ The quiet voice breaks the silence as a warm hand finds Zulema’s and gently squeezes it. ‘’ _ Yo se que el afecto no es tu  _ _ emoción  _ _ favorita pero… ahora te necesito, más que nunca. Por favor.’’  _ Maca whispers barely audible. 

Zulema hesitates. If she does hold the blonde, there would be a high risk of irreversibly falling for her after everything that happened between the two of them today. 

‘ _ She is not going to wait forever just because you think you’re not ready. Besides, you’re more ready than ever. I see the way you look at her and I also see the way she looks right back at you. Let her in before it is too late, Zule.’  _ Saray’s words from earlier that day echo through her head when she looks at the hand on top of her own and she finally gives in to her subconsciousness that has been yearning for Macarena the second she first saw her silly face on her screen. 

Zulema slowly removes her hand from Macarena’s shoulder and brings it to her waist instead before sliding the other one beneath the younger woman’s neck who lifts her head to make the movement a little easier for both of them. 

Once they’ve settled into a comfortable position, Macarena finds herself laying inside of Zulema’s arms, her head resting softly on the woman’s arm as the other one is wrapped around her waist tightly. She feels the brunette’s breath against her neck and closes her eyes, noticeably relaxing in Zulema’s embrace. 

Macarena probably never felt safer in her life, nor can she remember the last time being head over heels in love with someone that made her heart feel like it would break out of her chest at any given moment. 

She opens her mouth to speak her mind and say the words she hasn’t told anyone in the past six years. Or well, anyone for that matter. At least not sincerely. 

But they don’t leave her lips, not yet. It is too early. And it will most likely scare Zulema off, they only just started to get comfortable around each other and neither of them is familiar with this feeling yet. 

Before Macarena can continue fighting herself, her train of thoughts is interrupted by Zulema’s voice cutting the silence and confessing something she would have never even dared to think of in her wildest dreams.

‘’I once had a daughter too…’’ She hears the low voice behind her mumble against her skin. 

The blonde suppresses the urge to turn around and look at Zulema, let alone hugging or holding her. But the one thing she can’t hold back from is asking.

‘’What happened?’’ 

She hears Zulema taking a deep breath and then sighing. She had pushed this part of her life into the deepest part of her heart and never shared it with anyone, except for Saray, but somehow this confession made her feel like there was a deeper connection to her and Macarena than she had thought. 

‘’A car accident.’’ 

Macarena swallows. So that explains the way Zulema had tensed up when she told her about her parent’s accident. She had lost someone dear the same way. 

‘’How old was she?’’ 

‘’Two.’’ 

Macarena can’t fight it any longer. She carefully turns around in Zulema’s hold and lays her head on her own arm after the brunette uses hers to steady her head and looks down at Macarena. 

‘’I’m so sorry.’’ The blonde mumbles and purposely ignores the black tear that almost invisibly rolls down Zulema’s cheek if it hadn’t been for the black line that it left on its way down. The memory must still hurt her just as much as the miscarriage hurt Macarena. But losing a baby after giving birth and having had it in your arms already was a pain Macarena couldn’t even begin to imagine. 

‘’Thank you.’’ Macarena whispers into the silence.

‘’For what?’’

‘’Listening. You didn’t have to do that.’’ 

‘’I know.’’ Zulema looks down at the woman that had managed to turn her world upside down within two weeks. The one that drove her absolutely crazy with her attitude sometimes, she knows her intentions have never been bad. Especially right now, with only the silent growls of thunder every now and then, there in the dark with her, she looked as vulnerable and soft as ever. Little did she know that this woman would become her own personal thunderstorm.

Just like thunder, Macarena had been the one to scare her in the beginning. She had crashed into her life with an incredibly loud bang, but once you realize the thunder isn’t the actual danger, you allow yourself to be fascinated by its intensity and laugh at yourself for being so scared of something so harmless. 

Her gaze falls down to Macarena’s lips. She remembers the warm feeling growing inside of herself when she had first felt the blonde’s lips on her own a couple of hours ago and wonders if it could possibly feel the same again after the thrill of the moment at the wedding is gone. 

Macarena notices. Discerns the way Zulema isn’t even trying to hide the fact that she is looking at her lips, discerns the way Zulema’s thumb strokes the skin of her cheek and perceives her own heart rate increasing with twice its intensity. 

‘’ _ Puedo hacerlo de nuevo _ ?’’ Zulema eventually whispers when her eyes find Macarena’s again. 

That one can’t even begin to process the question the brunette has just asked her when the permission leaves her lips. 

‘’ _ Si.’’  _ She breathes.

And then, right there, in her own bed, it finally happens. 

Zulema leans in and brings her face closer to Macarena’s, hesitatingly as if she expects the blonde to change her mind and push her away again. But she doesn’t. Instead, Macarena’s eyes fall shut the second their lips meet for the second time that day. The only difference is that this time, Zulema doesn’t break it after two seconds. She keeps her hand on Macarena’s cheek and lets their mouths linger together for a moment, just lips softly pressed against lips. 

When Zulema pulls away, she looks at Macarena whose features express the exact emotions she is feeling herself. 

Fear and confusion for one… but most importantly acceptance. 

Macarena’s eyes flutter when Zulema brings her thumb to her lips that instinctively open and briefly brushes the digit over it.

Her lips find Zulema’s without more hesitation and this time it’s Macarena who leans up and cups the brunette’s cheek with her free hand. Their third kiss is deeper and definitely lasts longer than the previous two. In fact, Zulema subconsciously pulls the blonde closer after that one moans into her mouth when their tongues first meet. 

However, the last amount of hesitation isn’t gone yet and it makes her pull away from the kiss for a second to catch her breath. 

‘’Maca are you sure-’’

‘’No. Shh…’’ Macarena interrupts her and brings her index finger to Zulema’s lips. ‘’This is not my first time. I don’t want to yearn anymore, Zulema.’’ 

Something inside of the brunette’s head falls into place at that. Although she would never admit it out loud, she’s confessed and talked way too much for her own liking already, let alone her body language giving her away. But it couldn’t possibly get worse than that. 

So against all odds, for once in her life, Zulema switches off her brain and goes for what her heart tells her, just like Saray had asked her to, with all the risks of getting miserably hurt.

She lets Macarena wrap her arms around her neck and pull her in to connect their lips again into a kiss that seems to be unbreakable, the first step of two female bodies achieving to become one. 

Zulema slowly changes her position and hovers above the younger woman, carefully, as if her body was the most fragile thing that would break underneath the weight her own shoulders have been carrying. Allowing to let Macarena in means confessing. It means letting her know about the deepest parts of her soul, her darkest secrets and she doesn’t know if the blonde is ready for that. 

But all her thoughts and insecurities are washed away for the moment when Macarena pulls away to catch her breath and runs her hands from raven hair to pale skin before they come to rest on her cheeks. With closed eyes, she leans her forehead against Zulema’s and breathes against the brunette’s lips.

_ ‘’ _ _ Tócame _ _. _ _ ’’ _

Macarena feels Zulema’s heavy exhale before she hears it. 

This time, her kisses are more demanding than earlier, they move from Macarena’s mouth to her jaw, over her neck and down to her chest before coming back up to reunite with her lips just in time to swallow Macarena’s moan when she brings her knee between the blonde’s thighs. 

Zulema slowly pulls the younger woman’s bottom lip between her teeth and obeys to her wish of being touched. Her hand makes its way up her naked thigh, the nightgown had already moved up to her hips after Macarena had shifted her legs, and senses the shivers that spread over her whole body, especially when Zulema’s fingers begin to caress her waist. 

Macarena takes initiative and is quick to remove, first her hands from Zulema’s body, then the piece of clothing from her own and finds herself left in only her underpants. She feels green eyes burning into her skin and bites her own lip while shifting her body a little to let Zulema watch the play of her muscles with a coy smile on her face. The brunette’s pupils increase visibly to a point the only thing Macarena can see is the black desire in her eyes. 

She pulls Zulema down by her shoulders again when her hips begin to move against the older woman’s knee that is still lingering between her thighs and breathes harder into her mouth while her fingers grab the hem of Zulema’s hoodie. Once the top is off, Macarena begins to fumble with the cord of the woman’s sweatpants who is busy biting her neck and roaming her hands over the blonde’s naked upper body. 

It’s the combination of Zulema running her palm over her hardened nipple, her knee pressing harder against her core and her teeth sinking into the skin of her neck that drags the first  _ loud  _ moan from Macarena’s throat; one of the many that were about to come, followed by her body. 

Macarena finally manages to open the knot of Zulema’s pants and doesn’t hesitate to scratch her way down the brunette’s back until her fingers slide into the back of her pants to shove them down as much as possible, but they’re still in the way. She tilts her head to the side and frustratedly tugs at the thick fabric. ‘’ _ Quita esto.’’  _ She heaves. 

Much to her surprise, Zulema does just that and pulls away to remove the pants from her body which leaves her in her underwear before she gets back on top of the half naked woman and doesn’t miss the delicate sound that leaves the blonde’s lips at the touch of Zulema’s skin on her own.

Within mere seconds, what had developed into something eager and impatient now turned soft and gentle again. Macarena doesn’t want to waste a single second of the new feeling of feeling Zulema’s bare skin brushing over hers, it makes her body tingle from her scalp all the way down to her toes and if she didn’t know any better, she could have sworn the brunette was setting not only her skin but also her soul on fire. 

Zulema sends her hands on a journey that is exploring Macarena’s body and the goal of it all is to memorize every curve, every line and every scar the other woman has to offer. Macarena pulls her impossibly closer when her hand travels through the valley of her breasts, down her navel until her fingernail softly scratches along the waistband of her underwear. 

When Zulema wraps her finger around the hem and tugs it down, Macarena fleetingly lifts her hips to shorten the procedure and finally finds herself naked beneath Zulema for the very first time. 

Even though she had told the brunette a couple of minutes ago that this isn’t her first time, she sure feels like it all over again. The way Zulema is looking at her as if she is the only person to have ever walked this planet, in a way no one has ever looked at her ever, results in a small knot forming in her throat. It is too much all at once.

Macarena swallows and leans up into a kiss again while Zulema returns to stroke up and down her side while the blonde’s hands remove the straps from the older woman’s shoulder and proceed to unclasp the black material on her back. 

But she stops midway through because the hesitation in Zulema’s movements is immediate. Macarena pulls away from her lips but the brunette is quick to bring them together again, but the blonde whispers against them anyways. 

‘’What’s wrong? Are you uncomfortable?’’ 

Zulema bites her bottom lip before tilting Macarena’s head to the side by gently grabbing her chin. She can’t look at the younger woman while talking about these things, she would see too much honesty for her liking. 

Her tongue licks from the blonde’s neck up to her ear before she brings her mouth there. 

‘’Not uncomfortable. Just not used to this. Tell me what you want.’’ 

Macarena gasps when teeth bite into her neck and fingertips dig into her skin, the trembling of her body becoming close to unbearable. She needs Zulema’s touch, needs the feeling of her body on her own and she most importantly needs this final confirmation that Zulema needs her just as much. 

‘’ _ Quiero sentirte.’’  _ She whispers into the silence. 

Zulema growls affirmingly and reaches behind her back to finish what the blonde had started. However, she doesn’t want Maca to look at her just yet, so the second the material is off she presses her chest flatly against Macarena’s who inhales sharply at the contact of their breasts touching. Sex with Rizos had never felt that way, nor with any other woman, let alone a man. Things with Zulema had been different since the very beginning, and this was the final step that made her fall madly in love with the brunette. 

Her breathing increases, her legs press against Zulema’s waist and she dips her tongue into the other woman’s mouth to search for her touch and fight a battle for dominance that is lost the second Zulema properly lays hands on her. 

Macarena’s mouth falls wide open when Zulema’s hand slips between her thighs and starts to stroke her with one of her fingertips. The brunette once again takes her time to work Maca up, not that it would have been necessary, but she wants to hear as much of her heavy breathing and feel as much of her trembling body as possible. 

However, she eventually picks up the pace and adds more pressure until Macarena’s sounds are nothing more than desperate gasps and she is clinging onto her for dear life. 

Zulema pulls away from the younger woman and pauses the movements of her hand momentarily. 

_ ‘’Mírame’’  _ She mumbles and watches as Macarena opens her eyes just in time to feel the brunette enter her, watches as her jaw drops deeper and brows furrow. She’s actually surprised to see the younger woman managing to keep eye contact for as long as she keeps the slow pace inside of her, but the second a second digit finds its way inside and a thumb presses against the blonde’s sensitive spot, it's a lost battle. 

Macarena’s eyes roll into the back of her head and her back arches from the mattress as a dragged moan leaves her body, followed by another one, and another. 

It’s embarrassingly easy to bring her to the edge like this, Zulema knows exactly what she’s doing and she is  _ good  _ at it. The younger woman practically disintegrates underneath her. The silent mewls of pleasure turn from deeper moans into high-pitched gasps until she feels Macarena close to the edge as she is wrapping her legs around her lower back and clenches around her fingers. 

Zulema devours the moans Macarena is feeding her with, makes her burning wrist go just as much deeper and curls her fingers inside of the blonde who trips and falls over the edge and gives her the most delicate sound Zulema has ever heard in her entire life. 

It is a sound that is supposed to be an expression of pure relief and lust, but for Zulema it is the sound of safety and comfort. 

Most likely because after everything Macarena has told her, she feels safe and comfortable enough to undress in front of her and let her take control of her body like that. 

Zulema guides the blonde through her orgasm and slows down her movements until the body beneath her twitches when a finger comes into contact with the woman’s clit and makes Macarena’s arm shoot down to the brunette’s wrist. 

Their eyes meet again and for a moment time seems to be standing still. Right now, it is just them, as intimate as ever. And Macarena wants a last taste before this moment is over. 

With shaking hands, she cups Zulema’s cheeks and pulls her close again to steal another kiss into which the brunette hums delightfully. 

‘’You’re shaking…’’ Macarena mumbles when her hands travel up Zulema’s arms and feel the ever so subtle movements of her muscles.

‘’I’m fine,  _ rubia. No te preocupes.’’  _ Zulema replies and pecks the blonde’s lips once more. 

The blonde suddenly feels a certain kind of warmth bubbling up inside of her stomach that rises to her chest and before she knows she is laughing against Zulema’s lips like a child that just opened its Christmas present. 

‘’What?’’ Zulema pulls away and looks down at Macarena confusedly. When she doesn’t get an answer from the grinning blonde, she asks again. ‘’Why are you laughing?’’ 

Macarena pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and keeps on smiling at the brunette.

_ Because I’m happy.  _

‘’It’s nothing.’’ She replies and places an open mouthed kiss onto her jaw instead of giving a proper answer.

Zulema snickers and shakes her head at the other woman and is just about to give her another kiss when she has to stop Macarena who sneakily slid a hand between their bodies again. She grabs the blonde’s wrist and arches an eyebrow. 

‘’What do you think you’re doing?’’ She asks.

‘’Returning the favor.’’ Macarena replies coyly. 

Zulema squints her eyes and brings their arms back to the sheets where she pins the woman’s hand above her head and shakes her own. 

‘’I’m not done with you yet.’’ She leans in once more and nibbles on Macarena’s earlobe who tenses at the contact and lowers her voice to talk. ‘’ _ Primero, yo quiero catarte.’’  _

The thought of Zulema going down on her alone makes Macarena moan again. 

She manages to gather her last remains of self control and manages to press her palm flatly against Zulema’s front and swallows the surprised gasp she gains from the brunette.

‘’ _ Vale. Pero iguales, o nada.’’  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sapphiccivantos on twitter and instagram, come say hi xx


	14. hidden desires part 1

‘’See you in a week! Don’t burn down my apartment!’’ Macarena calls out before shutting the door to her apartment behind her back with a sigh. 

One week of Italy. One week Milan. 

Technically it wasn’t long. But one week without Zulema after everything that happened seems like an eternity. Of course she would have to leave the country  _ just  _ after they finally managed to open up to each other and accept the mutual affection.

What if Zulema is going to change her mind once she is alone again and realizes that life without her was a lot more peaceful and easier? 

Maca shakes her blonde head to herself and quickly tries to abandon the thought of returning to an empty apartment. It’s gonna be okay. She will work in Milan for a week, have fun nights out with her crew and come back to Zulema for their last week together before they would walk separate ways again. 

The thought of that alone makes her heart sting in a way she hasn’t felt in forever. 

Not even on her flight to Italy, seated next to Lidia, she can forget about the way Zulema touched her and asks herself if this is going to happen again or if it was just the melancholy and affection of the moment. Sure, they kissed, actually slept with each other for the first time. But does that change anything in the end? 

Does it change the fact that Armando will also be leaving Madrid in a week and hopefully never return afterwards? No. 

He found her once, he will find her again. As long as he was alive, she would never be able to feel safe again, nor start a new life with someone else. So what is the point of Zulema staying with her for one last week after all? It didn’t change anything. She was a stranger she met on Tinder by coincidence. One could say it was the right timing. But Zulema wouldn’t be there once Armando found another reason to come back to Madrid or wherever she could even think about starting a new life, again. 

A pulsating sting started to increase inside of her head and Macarena brings her fingertips to her sleeves, slowly massaging them in circles in an attempt to ease the pain when all she can think about is how the rest of her life will look like without having Zulema by her side who could protect her if necessary. 

‘’Hey, Maca.’’ Lidia reaches for one of the blonde’s wrists, brings their hands together and gives it a soft squeeze. ‘’Stop worrying about whatever is going through your head. I know you’re dealing with quite a lot right now but people are loving your play and this week in Milan is going to give you so many opportunities for future projects. We are going to have so much fun there and most importantly; he won’t be there. So allow yourself to let go for at least seven days,  _ vale?’’  _ She asks in a soft tone and with a reassuring smile on her lips. 

Macarena sighs. Lidia is right and she knows it. Maybe this would be her chance to start enjoying life and work again after such a long time.

She turns her head to meet the brunette’s gaze and nods her head, giving Lidia the same smile in return. ‘’Yeah, you’re right. I’ll try my best.’’

‘’That’s the Maca I know.’’ Lidia places a kiss onto her hand before letting it go and looks outside of the window when the pilot announces their landing. 

Macarena smiles to herself. ‘’Here we go Milan...’’ 

* * *

Five days and four performances later, Macarena finds herself in her hotel room after a long night out at one of Milan’s most popular BDSM parties. 

After their final performance, the crew had decided to drink a toast to their success and after two minutes of research they had found out that this weekend, one of the most popular parties would take place. One hour later they had arrived. 

And now, at 2am back in her hotel room, tipsy and worked up  _ as hell,  _ Macarena is tempted to call the woman that was probably sound asleep on her couch right now. 

No. Stupid idea. 

The blonde gets up from her bed and takes off the dress she has been wearing when she turns around and looks at her reflection in the big mirror that’s peeking through the bathroom’s door, basically begging her to take a look at herself. 

So she gives in and is met with a sight she hasn’t seen in a long time. 

The reflection in the mirror showed a gorgeous young woman with long blonde curls whose ends partially covered her breasts that are cupped by a black bra with red lace applications. In addition to that, she wore matching panties and stockings that were clipped to the fabric with red straps. 

She looks like a woman straight out of a fantasy. For the first time in years, she actually felt good about herself again, and it would be a shame to let that opportunity slip through her fingers. 

Macarena makes her way towards her cream colored sheets and positions herself on it. One leg stretched out, the other one angled so the black heel is right next to it. She grabs her phone, opens the camera and holds her phone in an angle that won't leave much up for imagination. Her hip bone and half of her covered self are still on the frame when she presses the shutter button and takes a picture. 

Satisfied with the result, she opens her messages and clicks on Zulema’s name before typing in the words that might cross another invisible line between them. 

  
  


  * _I saw a woman with black hair and cargo pants in a club tonight. She was cornering a blonde and thought people wouldn’t notice she was fucking her beneath that dress. Made me think of you._



Not even one minute later, Macarena’s phone lights up with a reply.

  * _joder rubia, how much did you drink?_



Maca bites her bottom lip and giggles. Of course Zulema wouldn’t respond to the context of her message. Maybe she needed another push towards the right direction. 

  * _enough to send you this_



She attaches the image to the text message and hits send. No going back now. 

The excitement makes her body tingle with anticipation already, but it is Zulema’s question that actually sends a shiver through her body. Just because she can basically  _ hear  _ the woman’s tone from it. 

  * _are you turned on?_


  * yes. 


  * touch yourself then. 



Macarena swallows. She surely didn’t expect  _ that.  _

She doesn’t even know what she expected Zulema to reply but it  _ surely  _ wasn’t an order like that. 

It takes her another moment before she sends her reply.

  * _tell me how._



For an agonizingly long five minutes, there’s no reply and Macarena almost thinks she won’t get another reply. Maybe she scared her off. Maybe Zulema is secretly making fun of her drunk condition and thinks it’s the best for Maca to just go to sleep. Maybe-

  * _get rid of this poor excuse for panties._



So Macarena does. She takes off the black fabric and tosses it somewhere next to the bed. She would take care of that the next morning. When the sheets have found their way between Macarena’s legs, covering herself up to not be too explicit but revealing enough so Zulema can see she is actually naked beneath the covers, she takes another picture and sends it to her.

  * _better?_


  * better. now work yourself up. start off slowly, tease yourself the way I would do it. caress your body, from your neck, down your breasts, to your stomach and your thighs. 



Macarena holds the phone with her left hand while the right one follows Zulema’s instructions. Although she doesn’t really need to work herself up much more. The club and the sheer fact that Zulema is willing to play this game with her left her aching already. 

  * _touch yourself._



And  _ oh  _ she does. The moan that leaves her lips is louder than she had thought it would be. Even when Zulema isn’t around her, she still manages to drive her insane. 

Not that she would have needed Zulema’s help for this in the first place, the ‘tell me how to’ was a simple challenge. But it made things a lot more interesting. 

She collects some of her wetness and brings it up to her clit, massaging it in a steady pace when Zulema sends her another message. 

  * _let me hear you._



Macarena swallows hardly. It’s not like the brunette hasn’t heard her before, but this was a line of trust she would cross. Zulema could do god knows what with a message like this. But something inside of her told her that the older woman would never do anything to hurt another woman’s dignity like that. 

And so, she crosses it.

She brings her thumb to the record button, lets her hand down next to her body as she continues to stroke herself and finally, she moans. Macarena closes her eyes and let’s herself fall into the feeling of finally being able to explore herself again, without anyone interrupting her this time. 

After thirty more seconds, she releases her thumb from the recording button and the voice note is sent and the phone falls out of her hand when she hits a sweet spot that causes her body to flinch. 

Just when she thought there is nothing more that Zulema could possibly do to turn her on even more, Macarena’s eyes fly open when her phone suddenly starts ringing and she is stopped in her tracks.

With two fingers still inside of herself, she picks up the phone with the other and stares at the name on her display.

Zulema. 

_ So much for not being interrupted.  _ She thinks to herself. 

Maca hesitates. It was one thing to send voice notes and text messages. But actually being on the phone and letting her listen to all of it?

Macarena pulls her bottom lip between her teeth before clicking on the green button and brings her phone to her ear.

‘’It’s late Miss Zahir, shouldn’t you be sleeping?’’ 

_ ‘’Says the woman knuckle deep inside of herself.’’ _

Macarena smirks and takes a deep breath. Hearing Zulema’s voice on the other side of the phone sure did things to her, however, she suddenly forgets how this works. A moment of silence passes until the brunette breaks the sudden silence.

_ ‘’Since when do you stop on my behalf?’’  _

She’s right. She doesn’t. 

Without an answer, Maca picks up the movements of her hands again, rather quickly working herself up once more to the point where she is close to the edge once more before she moans once, twice, and again until the high pitched sound that leaves her lips is nothing more than a sheer whine. 

‘’ _ See, there you go.’’  _ Zulema mumbles into the speaker and sends another wave of arousal straight to Macarena’s body who clenches around her own fingers the second she falls over the edge and cries out the brunette’s name. 

Macarena’s shaking hand manages to put Zulema on speaker before her arm falls to the side and she weakly lets her eyes fall shut, her chest rising and falling additionally to the little gasps that still leave the blonde’s lips every now and then. 

‘’ _ Now hit the sheets and sober up. I’ll see you on Saturday.’’  _ Zulema announces before putting her own phone down onto Macarena’s bed she has been sleeping in ever since the blonde was gone and runs her hands over her face with a sigh. ‘’ _ Puta rubia.’’  _ She mumbles to herself when she suddenly hears a laugh coming from the phone laying next to her.

‘’I can still hear you, you know.’’ Macarena chuckles at the brunette’s obvious frustration. Or well, the titillation in this case. 

Not a second later the line is dead.

* * *

They don’t talk for the next two days. No exchange of casualties or information about what 

the other is doing. They aren’t a couple after all.

That’s at least what either of them is trying to recall. 

The week in Italy had been quite busy for each and every single member of the crew. Short rehearsals in the mornings and afternoons and a show every other night. But this was exactly the live Maca had always dreamed of; traveling for work and doing what she knows best. Although there had been a lot of stress involved, it was heaven on earth every single time. 

Now, Maca is on the plane back home to Madrid. Back to the life she is used to, back to giving acting classes… back to Zulema. 

One more week until Armando would be done with his work in Madrid and could go back to Malaga. One more week and Zulema and her could officially part ways again. 

Her previous insecurities come back to her mind. Is Zulema even going to be there once she enters her apartment? 

Macarena sighs and tries to push her thoughts away for the rest of the flight. However, they haunt her until the moment she is standing in front of her door and turns the key to open her door.

It’s dark. 

‘’Zulema?’’ She calls as her feet carry her into the living room, looking for the brunette. 

She isn’t there. The room is neat, even the blanket is folded on the couch. Everything looks just like it did before she left the apartment one week ago. Has she been right all this time? Was Zulema really gone? Maca knows that Zulema had the weekend off, so where could she possibly be if not here? She knew Maca would be coming back today. But maybe she is at Saray’s place and would return soon.

Macarena sighs in disappointment and brings her suitcase into the bedroom, leaving it in the corner to come back to it later. She would unpack her stuff tomorrow. Now, she would make herself some dinner and maybe wait for Zulema although a part of her is trying to comprehend that she might not see the brunette ever again.

Maca walks into the kitchen, puts her phone onto the table and grabs some ingredients from the fridge before placing them onto the counter when suddenly, a sharp pain rushes through her scalp and a body presses against her back to trap her against the furniture. 

A gasp fills the room and Macarena could swear she felt her heart drop to the floor a second, but when a familiar smell fills her senses and she feels a hot breath tickling her ear, the fear instantly turns into arousal. 

‘’Did you really think you can send me a message like that and I’ll let it go with a phone call?’’ The husky voice whispers and almost instinctively, Macarena’s eyes fall shut. 

‘’You scared me.’’ She replies, regardless of Zulema’s question as her hips subconsciously press themselves against the woman’s front who lets out a deep chuckle at the effect she has on the blonde.

‘’Good.’’ Her lips find their way to the exposed skin of Macarena’s neck after she takes advantage of the grip in blonde curls and pulls her head to the side. Zulema nibbles, bites, licks until Macarena finally turns her head and crashes their lips together before turning around and cupping the brunette’s cheeks. 

Among the sounds of lips and tongues fighting for dominance, a sigh of relief fills the otherwise silent room. If Macarena’s body language didn’t speak for itself, her sounds sure do. All the insecurity and fear of coming home to find out Zulema was no longer there was long gone and instead, she allowed herself to melt in the other woman’s arms. 

After god knows how much time has passed and Zulema is about to take the blonde right there against the kitchen counter, Macarena’s phone suddenly starts buzzing over and over and over again. 

The younger woman breaks the kiss and turns her head towards the device on the table behind them after giving Zulema an apologizing look and pulls out of the brunette’s arms that had been wrapped around her waist tightly. While approaching the table, Macarena sees her phone lighting up with 14 new messages from Lidia. 

_ Shit.  _

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> see you on wednesday for another chapter xx


	15. hidden desires part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi again, sorry i couldn't upload on wednesday as i had planned but i finally managed to wrap up this chapter that is a collaboration with miss sapphiczule !! enjoy the ride xx

‘’Who the fuck is this?’’ Zulema asks with annoyance when she peeks over Macarena’s shoulder who has opened her whatsapp chat with Lidia and is met with the sight of black and red leather in a red environment. 

Maca locks her phone again and puts it back on the table before turning around to Zulema and shrugging her shoulders. ‘’Just Lidia sending me the pictures from the other night out.’’

‘’You mean the night you provoked me to have phone sex with you?’’ Zulema grins. 

The blonde blushes and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth at the memory. ‘’Yeah.’’

‘’Why all the leather?’’

‘’Oh, well we went to a club.’’ Macarena explains and tries to get Zulema’s hands back onto her body as her own lips make their way up the brunette’s neck.

‘’You and Lidia?’’ 

‘’Me and the whole crew- would you continue what we started?’’ 

But Zulema takes Maca’s wrists and holds them together above her head. ‘’Can I see the pictures?’’ She asks, although her tone intentionally made it seem like an order rather than a request. 

Macarena shudders at Zulema’s dominance, the grip on her wrists is strong. But the pulsating between her legs has increased and if this conversation would go where she thinks it will… her body wasn’t ready. 

‘’That’s gonna be a difficult task with my hands held above my head, don’t you think?’’ She mumbles coyly. 

Zulema squints her eyes as she lets go of the blonde’s hands and watches as Macarena grabs and unlocks her phone to open her gallery before putting the device into the brunette’s hands who starts scrolling through the images while Maca tries to decipher her features and find a hint of emotions. Interest, lust, maybe jealousy? 

But as per usual, nothing. Nothing she can read anyways. But the phrasing of her following sentence speaks for itself. 

‘’For a night out with the whole crew you sure do have a large amount of pictures just with Aguilar.’’ 

Macarena shouldn’t, she really should not, but the older woman is actually making it _so_ easy for her right now. 

‘’Oh _honey…_ ’’ She mumbles and traces her fingertip over the brunette’s arm. Even if Zulema tried to hide the goosebumps that formed on her skin she would’ve failed. Macarena already noticed. _'’Estás celosa?’’_

There are only two things that actually get Zulema’s attention. Macarena’s question isn’t one of them.

The first thing is a picture of Macarena and Lidia, standing in the middle of a crowded room and the brunette is shamelessly grabbing the blonde’s breast while sticking out her tongue. The way her thumb hovers over the screen for a little too long gives her away. 

The second and last thing she literally _stares_ at, is a short video of Lidia slapping a whip against her palm. 

Before Macarena even has a chance to say anything, Zulema locks the phone and places it onto the table behind them. Slowly approaching the blonde again, she corners her against the counter once more and brings her face impossibly close to Macarena’s.

‘’What kind of party was this and why were you wearing stockings with red lace on the garter belt?’’ She asks in her deep, husky voice. Her tone of voice wasn’t a negative one - it was one of someone who was intrigued to know more, and of someone who half knows the answer to the question already.

Macarena shivers, trying to hold the woman’s piercing gaze. 

‘’It was a BDSM party.’’ She whispers. 

Almost unnoticeable, the corners of Zulema’s mouth momentarily curl up into a mischievous smirk before her features go back to intimidating. 

‘’Did that video turn you on?’’ 

It was at that moment that Macarena knew she was fucked. Quite literally.

She takes a deep breath and tilts her head to the side, her fingertips once more finding their way to Zulema’s naked arms. Macarena stares at the half-transparent t-shirt and arches her eyebrows as she speaks.

‘’That depends on why you’re asking…’’

Zulema doesn’t waste a second and grabs the other woman by her hips and pushes her against the furniture that painfully digs into Macarena’s back and causes a wave of wetness to form between her thighs that only increases at the contact of Zulema’s knee pressing right between them. The blonde’s mouth shots open as an unexpected muffled moan comes out of it.

Zulema, however, is not done making her move just yet. The brunette stares into sweet hazel eyes, hands traveling slowly upwards from Macarena’s exposed thighs from her flowy dress until it reaches her ass below the fabric. She whispers in a sultry tone.. ‘’I knew that you like it rough… but chains and whips?’’ The raven-haired woman squints her eyes and presses her knee against the blonde’s center with more pressure, making Macarena’s eyes flutter shut as she bites her lip to ground herself. “That could be interesting.’’

Macarena lowers her gaze to Zulema’s mouth and back to her eyes once again.

“Interesting how?” The blonde asks, half teasingly and half curious about what’s going on inside the brunette’s mind. 

“Well, that depends…On a scale of 1-10, how kinky do you consider yourself to be?” 

Zulema leans in, bringing their lips together for a quick moment but separating it soon after as she bites Macarena’s lower lip. “One being handcuffs…” Her right hand starts coming upwards on the younger woman’s body, through her sides and sliding on top of one of her breasts. They keep coming up her chest, to her collarbone and finally, find their destination on the soft skin of Macarena’s neck. Zulema grazes her fingers on it, and suddenly, closes her hand around it with just enough pressure so she makes a first statement, but still loose enough so the blonde can breathe and speak. Macarena hisses with arousal, the wetness that was already present in between Macarena’s legs increasing in a ridiculously effective way. “And ten being knifeplay?” 

Macarena is taken by surprise by the proposal, and even though the thought of that had never crossed her mind, the idea of mixing danger and arousal always sounded interesting to her. It was certainly something she wouldn’t do with any person, though. But with Zulema, she always feels safe enough to try anything.

“Well, I never played with anything sharp before, so I don’t know how that feels like…” Zulema notices the way Macarena’s eyes darken instantly at that, combined with her body language as her chest opens forwards and her legs open just a little bit more for her. She would never grow tired of seeing just how much she can affect the blonde.

“Do you wanna find out?” Zulema asks, arching an eyebrow while her thumb comes up to stroke the blonde’s jaw. Macarena turns her face slightly, until her lips find Zulema’s finger and she promptly darts out her tongue to lick it, sucking it right after. Zulema tightens her jaw at the view, feeling her own arousal grow hotter by the sight. Macarena knew exactly how to drive her crazy. 

The blonde releases the thumb from her mouth, and answers. “Yes.” 

Not wasting time, Zulema’s hand leaves Macarena’s throat as she opens up the drawer to her right, taking out a medium sized steel knife while the younger woman observes her every move. She brings her eyes back to Macarena, resting the blade on the counter beside them as her right hand finds the blonde’s face and she pulls her in for another kiss, deep and slow. 

“Do you trust me?” Zulema asks after separating their lips, looking at Macarena in the eye. The blonde’s look softens slightly, and the gaze directed at the raven-haired woman is warm and filled with intensity. “Always.”

Zulema nods, trying to hide the small smile creeping out on her lips at the confession. She was still getting used to the way Macarena could make her entire facade crumble with just a simple word. She recomposes quickly.

“Good. Tell me your safe word.” 

Macarena ponders, but decides after a couple of seconds on one. She hooks her arms around Zulema’s neck, pulling her closer. “ _Liberación._ ” She whispers on the brunette’s ear.

Zulema takes a deep breath at that, distancing herself from Macarena again and bringing her hand to the grip of the knife laying on the counter once more and finally gets ready to put it to use.

“ _Liberación_ it is. Now…” Zulema brings the blade close to Macarena’s cheek, letting it rest on it’s flat side against the warm skin there, sending a shiver of anticipation through the blonde’s body. “For your own benefit, be a good girl and stay still. Do you understand?” 

Macarena’s first reflex is to nod, but she holds it back as she’s reminded of her order. Instead, she verbalizes it. “Yes.”

Zulema’s right hand starts moving the blade once again, the cold sharp object now dragging its way downwards to her neck to her collarbone and then her chest, pressing the skin beneath the knife ever so slightly as to graze the tender skin and leave a red mark behind. The cold sharp steel contrasted with the warm and soft touch Zulema had on her thigh with her left hand, squeezing it ever so slightly and Macarena could feel that the fabric of her underwear was already ruined. She knew the raven haired woman wouldn’t actually cut her skin, but just the idea of playing with an object that had that dangerous element to it was inebriating in a way Macarena never thought it could be. And the fact it was Zulema controlling it only made her wetter.

Zulema uses the tip of the blade to slide the straps of Macarena’s dress down, just enough so the blonde’s breasts were now out for her. Zulema bites her tongue, eyeing Macarena up and down and taking in the sight in front of her. She couldn’t believe how fucking beautiful and maddening hot this woman could be. 

She slides the blade down the valley of her breasts, circling each one with the tip slightly bent against the skin and observing the way Macarena’s chest rose irregularly from her shaky breath, her nipples getting harder by the cool material and her arousal and hearing the occasional whimpers the woman would let out every now and then. She brings her left hand to Macarena’s left boob, squeezing it and playing with her hardened nipple while she brings her mouth to Macarena’s neck, sucking on her pulse point as the knife rests flat below her right chest. 

“Zulema…” Macarena moans, her hips involuntarily bucking against the marble counter, desperate for more attention where she craves the most. Zulema chuckles against her neck, bringing her mouth to the blonde’s ear and whispering “I love the way you moan my name.” 

Macarena whimpers at the sentence, and Zulema brings her face away from the younger woman’s neck to keep working her way down her body. She uses the knife and her left hand to lift even further up the skirt of Macarena’s dress, fully exposing her black lace panties. She brings the knife to the end of Macarena’s thigh and slides up until she reaches the lace fabric with the blade. She slides the object below the hemline on the right side of the blonde’s hipbone, and with one swift move, she pulls on the knife and the lace fabric cuts in half. Zulema has a smirk on her face as she brings the blade to the other side, mirroring the move and cutting the fabric until it opens up and falls down on the ground, soaked and forgotten. 

“You look better without them.” Zulema says, and Macarena bites her lip as she feels the cool air of the room coming to contact with her hot center. 

Zulema then slides the blade inwards, and Macarena’s muscles tense up slightly as the blade comes closer and closer to her center. The brunette searches for Macarena’s eyes, and once she makes sure the blonde is looking at her, she presses the blade flat against her clit, dragging out a high pitched moan from Macarena. “Fuck…” Zulema starts circling it slowly, making sure to play with the pressure of the object more than the mobility of it in between the blonde’s legs. Her hips involuntarily buckle against the blade, and Zulema quickly closes a grip on one of her thighs with her free hand. 

“Careful, _cariño_ … rushing this can have serious consequences.”

She says teasingly as she detaches the blade from the hot skin, but not without a whimper from the other woman in protest. She brings the blade up to her face, observing the slickness clung onto the steel from how aroused Macarena already was. Without hesitation, she darts out her tongue and licks it off from it, and the blonde watches everything, feeling like she could combust by the sight at any moment. 

“ _Joder…_ ” is all Macarena manages to say. 

“ _Qué quieres, rubia?_ ”

“I want you to stop teasing me and fuck me against this kitchen counter.” 

Zulema chuckles, the sound sending another wave of arousal through the younger woman’s body and ending up between her legs. Zulema drops the knife to the side, bringing her left hand to grab Macarena’s throat once more while her right hand makes its way between the blonde’s legs. 

“You’re lucky I missed you. Otherwise I would keep teasing your brains out.” 

The blonde smirks, and even though Macarena is in a trance of her own, she doesn’t let the small affectionate comments Zulema is letting off every now and then slide. Even with half words and actions, they had their little ways of letting each other know just what they were feeling. And right now, it was longing. 

Zulema finally brings her fingers into contact with Macarena’s center, and she promptly slides two fingers inside with no resistance whatsoever, earning a long dragged moan from the blonde along with her walls pressing her fingers. She quickly picked up a pace inside Macarena, fingers curling to touch her front wall and pumping fast while her palm brushed against Maca’s clit, and the blonde’s left leg raises up to hook itself around Zulema’s waist for dear life. Her moans get louder and louder as Zulema’s movements grow faster and her fingers keep curling, and she couldn’t even describe how much she missed being touched by the older woman. Zulema’s hand still on her throat presses on the sides of it harder, making her gasp with the decreased oxygen flow and her hips roll against Zulema’s slick hand. It doesn’t take long for the older woman to notice Macarena’s walls clenching strongly around her fingers, and she can tell by the look in the blonde’s face that she’s close. She brings her face closer to Maca’s, whispering against her lips. “Come for me.” 

And she does. Macarena feels herself fall down the edge of her orgasm with Zulema’s last deep pump inside of her and she comes all over the older woman’s fingers, arms hooked around the petite figure in front of her as she rides out her high. When she finally notices Macarena has calmed down, she takes out her fingers from inside the blonde, who takes her wrist with her hands and brings the two coated digits to her mouth, licking them clean. Zulema leans in, kissing her and tasting the other woman in her own mouth. 

“Take me to bed, Zule.” Macarena whispers against the woman’s lips.

‘’Your wish is my command.’’ Zulema grins cheekily and lifts the blonde by her ass who wraps her legs around the woman’s waist as they make their way towards the bedroom where Zulema lays Macarena down onto the mattress and hovers above her. 

The dress whose waistband was still keeping the clothing on Macarena’s body was quickly removed, however, the blonde is quick to stop Zulema in her motions when that one starts to trace kisses down her chest. 

With a strong grip on raven hair, Macarena makes Zulema look up at her and shakes her head to the negative.

‘’Don’t even think about it. My turn.’’ She mumbles and sits up straight only to switch their positions and lower herself into Zulema’s lap. 

‘’Tell me what you want.’’ The older woman mumbles in between kisses she is placing onto Macarena’s neck. The answer she gets surely isn’t what she had expected it to be. 

‘’I want you to teach me how to tie someone up.’’ Macarena replies and looks down at Zulema who had stopped her movements and was now looking at the blonde with a mixture of disbelief and surprise.

‘’Seriously?’’ 

‘’Yeah.’’ Macarena nods as she brings her hands to Zulema’s cheeks and looks directly into her eyes before repeating the same words the brunette had asked her in the kitchen not too long ago. ‘’Do you trust me?’’

With a roll of her eyes, Zulema bites her lip in a failed attempt to fight the smile that had crawled up her lips and then locks eyes with hazel ones again. ‘’Way too much for my own liking.’’ 

Macarena pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and pecks the other woman’s lips, Zulema nods her head towards the drawer. ‘’Do you have a tie or a silk scarf or something like that?’’

‘’Mhm’’ Comes the reply when the blonde gets up from Zulema’s lap to grab a silk band from her closet. After looking at the brunette’s questioning face she slides the fabric through her fingertips and explains. ‘’Last year’s birthday present from Rizos. She thought I might want to use it one day.’’

‘’Sure you do.’’ Zulema hums and crosses her wrists over each other and holds them out in front of her while the younger woman makes her way back to the bed. Macarena, who is still holding the silk in her hands, looks at the other woman questioningly and brings it closer to Zulema’s hands.

‘’Tie it around my wrists. It has to be loose enough for you to still work two fingers between it in order not to cut off the circulation.’’ Zulema explains and watches as Macarena does exactly that, making sure to check that two of her fingers would still have enough space between the brunette’s skin and the silk. 

The tension between the two of them grows heavy once more after Macarena is done with her work and looks straight into Zulema’s eyes that try to hide the nervousness that is crawling up her body, but Maca can see it anyways. 

She brings a hand to Zulema’s cheek, brushes her thumb over it before sliding it down her neck as she speaks with a soothing voice. ‘’Don’t worry. You’ll be just fine. I’ll take good care of you.’’ 

A sneaky smirk brightens the blonde’s features when her hand gently pushes against the older woman’s chest who lets herself sink backwards into the sheets and looks at Macarena who shoves the tied hands above her head. She leans down, giving Zulema the illusion of kissing her but before their lips touch, Macarena stops.

‘’Stay like this and relax.’’ She whispers.

Zulema doesn’t flinch a muscle, nor does she react in any other way. She only watches while Macarena’s lips make their way down her body after her shirt is taken off and the blonde’s fingers start working on getting her pants to follow as well. 

It is when Macarena softly blows against the newly exposed skin on her stomach that Zulema’s facade begins to crumble and her body begins to reply in its own language, far away from letting her take control over it again. 

Goosebumps begin to form on her skin and her breathing increases with every inch Macarena kisses down her stomach, but it is not until teeth bite into the flesh of the brunette’s thigh that she vocalizes her desire for the younger woman in a form of a sharp inhale, followed by the most arousing sigh Macarena has ever heard. 

Zulema has never been the most patient person, but that is only because she usually manages to get the things she wants as soon as she wants them. With her hands tied up, that is not so easy. Asking Macarena for what she wants however- not her style. So instead, Zulema arches her back as the other woman’s hands caress her thighs and hopes the blonde is smart enough to read her body language. 

Macarena of course takes in every single movement of Zulema’s body, and the way her muscles tense when her mouth is just _that_ close to where Zulema needs her the most. 

The shaky exhale that parts the brunette’s lips once she feels the blonde’s tongue on her is enough for Macarena to lose her own patience and spoil Zulema with the best skill the muscle has to offer. 

Although Macarena has never made her come like this before, in a bed with all the time in the world, it feels like she’s never done anything else in her life, the way Zulema’s body reacts to every single touch of hers is something she has never experienced with anyone before, and even though everything seems to be just right, Macarena doesn’t miss the fact that something seems to be wrong. 

Zulema can’t let herself go like this. 

Maca removes herself from the brunette’s body and hovers above her and brings their lips together momentarily, letting Zulema taste herself on her tongue while her hands work their magic to remove the fabric that holds her wrists together. 

‘’I think that’s enough lessons for today.’’ She mumbles against the brunette’s lips, then kisses her way down the slim body again until she reaches her destination and this time when Macarena’s tongue and fingers comes into contact with her soaking center, the moan that leaves Zulema’s lips washes away the initial insecurities are gone for good and she manages to let herself go. 

Long fingers grab a hold of blonde curls and pull Macarena’s head impossibly closer to get more of the addicting sensation that is feeling the blonde bring her closer and closer to the edge until her body spasms and her heavy breathing briefly stops. 

And it is not until one more orgasm for each of them later that they both collapse onto the sheets and fall asleep unfamiliarly close to each other. 

* * *

They both wake up with the sun kissing down on their face, the bright rays of sun bringing them back to consciousness once again. While both women start to wake up, they both realize the proximity of their bodies, Macarena’s head resting on Zulema’s chest while the blonde hugs her side. Zulema opens her eyes, struggling with the light while she hears a groan from the body next to hers annoyed by the exact same thing. 

  
“Joder, I need to get blackout curtains.” Macarena mumbles with a sleepy voice, which makes Zulema chuckle. Macarena stretches her body on the bed, straightening her body and putting her torso up against the headboard while Zulema does the same. 

“ _Buenos dias._ ” Macarena says, smiling. 

“ _Buenas, rubi._ ”

They look at each other for a couple of seconds, taking in the early morning atmosphere around them, and enjoying the peace they brought to each other. That is, until Zulema’s stomach growls loudly in protest.

“Hungry?” Macarena asks, laughing. 

“Starving. Please, let’s eat some breakfast.” Zulema says in an over-dramatic manner.

Both women get up from the bed, Zulema sliding an oversized t-shirt over her head and Macarena rolling her silk robe around her body tying it closed. They make their way into the kitchen, Zulema opening up the fridge to inspect its contents, already taking Maca’s soy milk out while Macarena loads the coffee maker. It’s definitely not their first time having breakfast together, of course, but this time both women can’t help but notice how domestic it all feels now that the feelings part of the equation is finally out in the open, and well. Zulema would be lying if she said that didn’t scare her, but what was scaring her was more the possibility of losing this than anything else. For the first time in god knows how long, she actually feels happy. And it’s all because of this stubborn blonde that drives her wild and slowly but surely made her way inside her unruly heart.

“ _Oye_ , earth to Zulema?!”

The raven haired snaps out of her thoughts, looking up to find honey green eyes looking at her. 

“ _Qué?_ ”

“I asked if we still have strawberry jam. I feel like eating pancakes today.”

“Oh, yes we got it. I did the groceries the day before you came back.” 

Macarena smiles, approaching Zulema and gently holding the fabric of her t-shirt, pulling her closer. “How domestic of you. Buying the groceries for when I come back from my work trip…”

Zulema rolls her eyes mockingly, but still took two steps forward guided by Macarena’s pull on her shirt until their bodies could meet again. “ _Cállate._ ” 

Macarena chuckles. “Make me.” 

Zulema cocks an eyebrow up, pulling Macarena’s waist while she brings their mouths together into a lazy morning kiss, the one that leaves them both lightheaded from how right this all feels. Zulema breaks the contact after a couple of seconds, and waits for Macarena’s eyes to open again. 

“I’m gonna die of starvation if we don’t start making these pancakes soon, I’m not joking.” 

Macarena laughs, nodding in agreement. They did drain out all of their energy together quite well. They both start working together, grabbing the ingredients for the batter and tying everything up while their breakfast slowly starts to take form. While Macarena is on the final step of adding the batter to the pan and making their pancakes Zulema starts to set up the table for them, pouring their coffee on their mugs and taking out some fruit condiments for the pancake sides.

Once everything’s done, they both finally sit down on the table to have the first very-needed meal of the day. Macarena starts spreading an obscene amount of jam onto her pancakes - as she usually does - while adding a couple of blueberries on top of it. Zulema goes for the honey instead, pouring it onto her own plate and siding it with sliced bananas.

While they eat, Macarena starts telling a little bit more about her trip - the shows, the day strolls around Milano, and Zulema listens to everything attentively. That is, until Macarena brings a slice of her pancake covered in strawberry jam to her mouth, and the topping slides off from the food and into her chest just below her collarbone, half exposed by the robe. 

“ _Joder!_ ” Macarena drops the fork onto the platter once again looking at the mess on her, and Zulema laughs wholeheartedly. 

“God, you do eat like a child. It never fails.” Macarena looks at her with furrowed brows, throwing her an annoyed look. Zulema smirks. “Here, let me clean this for you.” Zulema gets up from her chair, lowering herself down in front of Macarena until her face is at the same height as the blonde’s, who’s watching her moves curiously. Zulema gives Maca one last look, until she lowers her face to the younger woman’s chest and darts out her tongue to lick the jam off from her skin, instantly causing Macarena to shiver. 

“Oh.” Is all the blonde manages to say, as her eyes momentarily close at the feeling of Zulema’s warm tongue on her again, and it’s like her body instantly lights up again.

She opens her eyes again, meeting dark green eyes looking at her, a small smirk splattered on Zulema’s face. Zulema brings her index finger to Macarena’s plate, scooping out more jam on her finger and sliding it in the valley of the blonde’s breasts. 

“I think I missed a spot there.” She says feigning worriness, and Macarena rolls her eyes smirking. “Yeah, I think you did.” 

Zulema uses her hands to open the robe a little more, exposing now a deep cleavage on Macarena’s chest. Once again, she dips out her tongue, licking all the way up in between her breasts and Macarena can’t help but release a muffled moan this time. Zulema chuckles against the blonde’s skin, taking the opportunity to slide the silk fabric even further until both of Macarena’s breasts are now exposed. She traces a path with her tongue to her right breast, circling it over until she reached Maca’s nipple, to which she sucked to her mouth and flicked her tongue over it, causing Macarena’s back to arch and her hands to tangle themselves in dark locks. She gives the blonde’s left breast the same attention, slowly kissing and licking every inch of skin until she covers all areas. 

After that, Zulema breaks the contact of her mouth on Macarena’s skin, looking upwards to the blonde while her hands work their way untying the knot on her robe and exposing her entire naked body. Once again, Zulema brings her index finger now combed with her middle finger to scoop out as much strawberry jam as she could, bringing it to Maca’s stomach and dropping it there, watching it slide down all the way down in between her legs. Macarena bit her lip in anticipation. 

“You really did make a mess, huh?” Zulema asks, but before Macarena even had the chance to answer anything, the raven haired woman was already bringing her mouth to lick her stomach clean, her tongue following the path the red jam left downwards on the blonde’s body. Macarena chuckles while her fingers caress Zulema’s hair, until Zulema is pulling her hips forwards to the edge of the chair and her mouth is now hovering above her center that the chuckle becomes a moan and the carressing becomes a hair pull. Zulema wastes no time, sliding her tongue flat against Macarena’s already wet pussy all the way up from her entrance to her clit, flicking it at the end on the bundle of nerves. Macarena moans soundly, hips thrusting forwards and legs spreading wider. 

Zulema keeps working with her tongue on Macarena’s center, up and down, and circling around. She plays with the pressure and the texture of the touch of her tongue to drive Macarena to the edge, and once she feels like the blonde’s already halfway there, she brings her index and middle finger to Maca’s entrance, sliding them both in below her soaked chin and curling it up and forwards in one swift move. 

“Oh my god…” Macarena exclames, pressing Zulema’s face harder against her pussy and rolling her hips against the brunette’s tongue and fingers. “Faster!” Macarena moans, and Zulema complies. She pumps her fingers at a faster speed this time, twisting them inside the woman and making sure to hit all those sweet spots while her tongue increases its pressure and speed around her clit. Macarena’s moans start to get shakier just like her body, and that combined with the feel of her walls closing in on Zulema’s fingers was the blonde’s announcement that she was close. 

Zulema then, with one last move, curled her fingers just at the right spot pressing Macarena’s G-spot while her tongue kept driving Macarena to the edge, and with a loud scream from Macarena moaning out Zulema’s name for everyone who wants to hear it, she comes hard on the older woman’s mouth, riding out her high while stars exploded below her eyes. Zulema kept her movements steady, riding out Macarena’s orgasm until her body finally calmed down. She slides her fingers out from Macarena, giving her center one last kiss before bringing her face up again to meet the blonde at eye level. 

She brings their lips together in a deep kiss, humming as Macarena tastes herself on Zulema’s tongue. They separate, looking at each other with a deep want in both their eyes. 

“Wanna hop into the shower? I might do a better job helping you clean up there.” Zulema says, smirking.

“Aren’t you gonna finish your breakfast?” Macarena asks, noticing a couple of pancakes still left on Zulema’s plate. The older woman shrugs. 

“I already ate.” 

Macarena rolls her eyes, laughing at the statement as Zulema follows her along. “Vale, let’s take a shower then.” 

And just like that, with kisses and laughter and moans followed by orgams, Macarena and Zulema spent the day making up for the time they spent apart from each other. 

  
  
  



	16. silent night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi babes, welcome back!  
> I haven't decided yet whether I will split the last plot string into two parts and post next sunday and the 31st or if I won't post next sunday and make one last long final chapter for the 31st but we'll see, I will keep you updated on twitter!
> 
> here are the two songs featured in this chapter:
> 
> \- Last Christmas by Dana Daoud  
> \- Como un animal 2 by najwa

_‘’I’m not coming back.’’_

_‘’What do you mean?’’_

_‘’I mean, I am not going back to Spain for a while. I got offered a job last night and decided it is a great opportunity to push my career down the path I always wanted to take. And if that means I have to stay in Milan for a few months then I’ll do it. Nothing is keeping me in Madrid anymore.’’_

_Lidia saw the way Macarena’s eyebrows flinched at that._

_‘’That doesn’t mean I am leaving you for good, Maca.’’ She explained reassuringly as her hand found its way onto Macarena’s shoulder and stroked it up and down in a soothing motion. ‘’But I don't think it is the best idea for me to linger there while you and Zulema clearly have some things to figure out first. I don’t want to be in the way.’’_

_‘’What do you mean?’’ Macarena asked again and made Lidia chuckle._

_‘’Is that the only sentence you know today?’’ The brunette said teasingly but quickly became soft again when she picked up her clarification. ‘’There is more between you and Zulema than either of you wants to admit. I know you, Macarena. I know what it looks like when you’re falling in love with someone. I’ve seen it before. And even though I don’t know Zulema, I know the way a woman looks at another woman when there is affection in some kind of way. She might pretend to be super tough and untouchable, but she is doing nothing more than fooling herself. I saw the way she looks at you and it is time for you to wake up and let this woman in before it is too late.’’_

_Macarena stared at the wall next to them, trying her best to process all of what she had just told her and make it make sense._

_But Zulema and affection in one sentence?_

_She sighed and shrugged her shoulders when her eyes met Lidia’s again. ‘’I don’t know how.’’_

_The brunette gently smiled at her. ‘’You’re already getting there. You just need to pay attention to the way your pulse speeds up whenever she is around, the way you can’t stop thinking about her any second of the day and most importantly, be aware of the fact that she undoubtedly makes you feel the happiest and safest you’ve ever been.’’_

* * *

It’s those exact words Macarena is thinking about when the sunlight wakes her up once more. For the first time, she wakes up earlier than Zulema and for the first time, she sees usually so indecipherable features being peaceful and calm. A rare sight she probably won’t get to see very often. 

Carefully, Macarena turns to her side and rests her head on her hand as she observes the brunette’s face in front of her. Watches the way her lashes flutter from time to time, looks at the strands of black hair that messily stick to her cheek and listens to the soft in-and-out breaths and exhales. 

‘’Stop staring at me, _rubita.’’_ Zulema eventually mumbles before she even opens her eyes, her voice nothing more than a deep, husky sound that makes the blonde shiver. 

Despite the goosebumps Zulema’s voice sends through Macarena’s body, the blonde smiles when the woman next to her finally opens her eyes and turns her head to give her one of her famous unreadable looks. 

‘’I’m not staring.’’ She counters. 

‘’Then what do you call the act of your eyes staring holes into my sleeping body?’’

‘’Gazing.’’

‘’The dwarfs in fairy tales gaze at sleeping people. This is not Snowwhite nor Sleeping Beauty, _rubi._ ’’ Zulema responds in a serious tone but fails the attempt not to smile after seeing Macarena’s confused face. 

‘’How did you even think of that now?’’ The blonde asks. 

Without a response, Zulema turns on her side and mirrors Maca’s position before she opens her mouth and changes the topic without blinking twice. 

‘’I’m taking you somewhere today.’’ 

‘’Are you asking me out on a date?’’ 

Zulema snorts as she sits up and pulls the oversized shirt down to her thighs before getting up and walking out of the bedroom. ‘’I already fucked you, do you really think I _ask_ for a date?’’ 

Macarena rolls her eyes with a smirk on her face and pulls the sheets back up to her nose while Zuiema makes her way into the kitchen to prepare breakfast for the two of them.

It is when she grabs a knife from the counter that she sees Macarena’s phone light up from the corner of her eye. She must have left it there after their conversation about Lidia the other day. 

Even though it speaks against all her morals and usual behaviour, Zulema slowly approaches the device and looks at the message that had just popped up. It confirms her bad gut feeling.

  * _Macarena I need to talk to you. Without that fucking criminal by your side. I have something you might want back. Meet me at 2 at the theater._



Zulema frowns and runs her hand over her face with a sigh. There would be no other option than getting rid of this guy somehow, she just needs to find a way how.

One hour and three banana pancakes later the text message is deleted from the blonde’s phone and Zulema has a solution.

* * *

‘’Where are you going?’’ Macarena asks from the bathroom with a toothbrush in her mouth, looking at Zulema’s reflection going into the hallway.

‘’I have something to do. I’ll be back later.’’ Zulema calls already halfway out the door.

‘’Are we still gonna-’’ Macarena begins but is interrupted by the sound of the door closing. ‘’Go out…’’ She finishes the sentence to herself and looks into the mirror with a sigh. 

There she was again. The old Zulema she first got to know at ‘ _El infierno’,_ the woman who let nobody in and gave nothing of herself away whatsoever. A Zulema that has got nothing to do with the woman she spent the last two days sleeping with and being domestic. 

Macarena sighs and rinses her mouth with water, puts the toothbrush back in its place and walks back towards her bedroom to lay down for another two hours. 

While the blonde decides to take another nap, Zulema is busy driving. One hand on the wheel and the other holding her phone to her ear. 

‘’No, I can’t tell you on the phone, _Garcia._ Meet me at my place in five.’’ She ends the call and throws her phone to the side. 

The fuck is she getting herself into again? She had promised herself to stay away from any kind of crimes for at least five even years after getting out of prison. And here she was, risking everything for a woman she only met three weeks ago without even thinking it twice about it. 

‘’Fuck!’’ Zulema hisses as she punches the steering wheel and lets out a frustrated growl. Things can’t continue like this. She needs all of this madness to stop before it is too late.

* * *

Five hours later Zulema opens the door to Macarena’s apartment again. She puts the keys down onto the dresser and walks into the living room, searching for the blonde. After checking the kitchen as well, she opens the door to the bedroom where she finds Macarena laying in bed, her back facing the brunette, a black dress and matching heels on the floor along with her bag and makeup laying on the table to her side. 

‘’Everything alright, _rubia?’’_ Zulema asks, frowning. 

‘’Where were you?’’ Macarena counters.

‘’I told you I had things to do.’’

‘’You also told me you would take me out today.’’

‘’I am here now, aren’t I?’’ 

Macarena sits up, turns around to face Zulema and if looks could kill, the brunette would be nothing more than a cold corpse by now.

‘’You can’t just say you have things to do and leave without a word, Zulema. Leave me here wondering all day when you’ll come back, if I can make plans with someone else or not because I don’t know where the hell you are!’’ The blonde exclaims furiously before pointing to the clothes Zulema was looking at a few moments ago. ‘’I was ready to go out. Now, five hours later you finally decide to show up and don’t even bother to give me an explanation for everything. It is Christmas Eve for god’s sake, Zulema.’’ 

The brunette sighs heavily and turns around momentarily, a hand finds its way over her face once more, then she turns back to Macarena and nods her head towards the hallway. 

‘’Come with me.’’ 

‘’What?!’’ The blonde frowns.

‘’Come.’’ Zulema shuffles into the hallway to grab the keys from where she had left them.

‘’Did you listen to a word I just said?’’ Macarena’s voice comes from the bedroom and Zulema decides she’s had enough. 

‘’Macarena!’’ The older woman groans. ‘’Stop asking questions for once for fucks sake.’’ 

It’s not like the blonde tolerates the way Zulema is talking to her at all, but keeping Lidia’s words in mind, Macarena gets out of bed, wraps her coat around her body and walks past the brunette and out of the apartment. She needs a good explanation for all of this, her trust has been broken too many times to blindly believe everything coming from the older woman. 

Half an hour and an uncomfortably quiet car ride later, Macarena finds herself getting out of the vehicle in a neighborhood she has never seen before. She gives Zulema a questioning look but as per usual, there is nothing she could possibly read in the brunette’s expression. Macarena follows the older woman with a sigh and watches as she pulls out a pair of keys to open the door to what apparently seems to be her apartment. 

‘’What are we doing here, Zulema?’’ She mumbles as they walk into the hallway and up the stairs to the first floor. 

‘’Just come.’’ Zulema replies as she unlocks the door to her flat and presents Macarena a perfectly organized room that is held in black furniture. She hears the door fall shut behind her and Macarena’s steps follow her into the room to their right where nothing more but a shining black piano and two chairs have their place. 

While Zulema pulls up the key’s covers and sits down in front of it, Macarena makes herself comfortable in the chair in the corner, pulls her knees up to her chest and rests her chin on them.

‘’I don’t know how you used to celebrate christmas with your family, but since you like theater I assumed you like music just as much as I do… so the reason I was gone for so long today was partly because I tried learning this.’’ Zulema explains quietly while her fingers position themselves on the keys for the first tone. When she’s done talking, she hits them.

Macarena knows this song very well. Everyone does, it is probably the most known Christmas song of all time. But the way Zulema plays it just might be her favorite version. 

The blonde watches as Zulema’s fingers fly over the keys, watches her concentrated face and the way her eyes switch from key to key. Chills caress her skin and suddenly whatever it is that Zulema is still keeping from her, doesn’t matter. 

A smile crawls up her lips, tears up her eyes that are quickly fought back. She’s spent the past years by herself on this day, and she can admit to herself that maybe, she exaggerated on her reaction towards Zulema earlier. The truth is that she felt more hurt by the possibility of having to spend christmas alone again then with someone she cares about than she was mad at Zulema for keeping secrets about where she’s been. Being around someone again at this time of the year felt unfamiliar. But she would lie if she said she didn’t enjoy every second of it. 

As Zulema plays, Macarena eventually gets up and stands behind her, her hands lay onto the woman’s shoulder and while the song slowly comes to an end, Maca leans down and places a gentle kiss onto the brunette’s cheek. 

“Thank you.” She whispers. 

Zulema turns her head and meets Macarena’s hazel eyes that are sparkling with joy. “ _Feliz Navidad rubia.”_

Maca leans down and connects their lips in what starts off as a slow, deep kiss but turns into a heated push and pull the second maca bites down onto the brunette’s bottom lip. 

Before she knows, Macarena finds herself pushed down onto the piano tiles with Zulema’s hands on each side of her waist. 

However, her hand is stopped when it unbuttons the brunette’s pants. 

“ _Que estás haciendo?”_ Maca asks breathlessly after parting from Zulema. 

“We can’t. Not here, not right now. I told you I’m taking you somewhere today and I meant it. But we have to be there in an hour and a half and I don’t think you want to go in your sweatpants, do you?” 

Macarena’s sigh turns into a chuckle at the question and she shakes her head to the negative and gets off the piano, but not without getting unnecessarily close to the brunette in the act. 

“ _Vale._ I’ll keep my hands to myself for now then.” Maca mumbles and places a wet kiss on the other woman’s neck who inhales sharply at the contact, then grabs her coat from the chair and wraps it around her body again. 

* * *

The moment Zulema parks the car and Macarena realizes where Zulema took them, her eyes widen and a happy, bright smile lightens up her face. 

“You’re going to a _christmas market_ with me?” She asks with glowing cheeks. 

Zulema smiles at the sight and hums in approval, two seconds later, Macarena’s arms are wrapped around her neck in a tight embrace. 

The older woman brings one of her own arms around the blonde’s body and pulls her close while burying her face into her neck with a sigh. 

“ _Estás bien?”_ Macarena asks and pulls away to take a look at the woman in front of her who seemed unfamiliarly soft.

“ _Claro.”_ Zulema nods and gets out of the car. 

Maca adjusts the winter hat on her head, ties her trench coat and walks over to the brunette to wrap her hand around Zulema’s arm as they make their way towards the market. 

She had changed into her black dress and tights, put on her favorite grey hat and a pair of gloves to protect herself from the cold. 

The two of them spend their time walking, looking at the different booths with decorations, clothes or food, eating chocolate covered strawberries and talking about god knows what. 

It is 6 pm and dark outside when they finish up their mulled wine that paints their cheeks in a light pink color and it is then that Macarena notices the little white flakes that begin to cover the raven black hair in front of her. 

‘’Oh my god, it’s snowing!’’ The blonde happily exclaims and wipes a snowflake off Zulema’s nose with her pointer finger who shakes her head snickering. 

‘’What is it with you and christmas?’’ The brunette asks and nods her head towards the exit before they make their way off the market.

‘’I don’t know, I love everything about it. The smells, the decorations, the light and joy… It is my favorite time of the year.’’ Maca explains with a smile while her eyes wander over the diverse christmas lights that decorate and light up the streets of Madrid in the dark. 

Zulema shoves her hands into her pockets and walks towards the direction where her car is located when Macarena’s voice stops her.

‘’I have to go somewhere before we go back home. It is not far from here. Do you want to join?’’ 

Zulema furrows her brows. ‘’Depends on what it is.’’

Macarena chuckles and motions with her head for the brunette to follow. ‘’Come and see.’’

A ten minute walk later Zulema is standing in front of an animal shelter with a confused look on her face that makes Macarena laugh as they get inside. 

‘’ _Hola, Macarena.’’_ A woman greets them and pulls the blonde in for a hug before Macarena turns to the left and walks past different cages with various dogs in them. 

Zulema follows her without a word and just watches as they seem to reach their destination in front of an empty cage where Maca squats down and frowns.

‘’Sofia, where is Teddy?’’ The blonde calls towards the reception.

‘’Oh, she is outside with Rico!’’ 

‘’ _Vale, gracias!’’_ Macarena gets up from the floor and opens the wooden door that leads to a fenced meadow where three dogs are currently wrestling with each other and hunting a ball a guy is throwing for them.

‘’Hey, Tim!’’ Maca calls with a smile and waves back at the guy that raises his hand to greet them.

Zulema looks at the different dogs and watches them play. That’s until the smallest one of them, a little Chihuahua, notices Macarena’s presence and with his tail up high, comes running to them. 

‘’ _Hola, mi amor!’’_ The blonde greets the little dog after lifting it up from the floor and turns her head away when that one tries to lick her cheek and laughs. 

Zulema watches the scene with a soft smile on her face and the way Macarena’s face lights up with as much joy as she has ever seen on the blonde’s face, she can’t help herself from asking what all of this is about.

‘’Is that Teddy?’’ She begins.

Macarena nods and walks closer to Zulema with the dog in her arms. ‘’Yeah that’s her.’’

‘’How old is she?’’

‘’Nine. She has been here for five years now.’’ The blonde mumbles sadly.

Zulema shifts and pets the animal on Macarena’s arms before the younger woman sits down in the grass with it and caresses its fur softly.

Zulema doesn’t ask the question out loud but Macarena knows the brunette wants to know the story of this, so she gives her a short glance, then turns her face back to Teddy and begins to talk.

‘’I have been coming here every Christmas ever since I first moved here and me and Teddy just had this bond from the very first moment. I would visit the shelter once every weekend and on Christmas Eve… I somehow felt like the dogs and I have something in common, you know. Not having a family and all. So it was nice to spend some time with them like this and make them feel wanted, that way we could find comfort together.’’ 

Zulema takes in every detail of the blonde’s body language as she plays and cuddles with the dog while sitting there in the grass with little snowflakes beginning to cover them and she momentarily wonders what it would be like if she came home to this after work. Macarena sitting on the floor in the living room, surrounded by a little dog that would give her a family again.

‘’Why did you never adopt her?’’ She asks curiously and notices the sad smile appear on the blonde’s face.

‘’Honestly… I don’t know. I always hoped I would come back one weekend and not find her in her cage anymore because someone adopted her, but most people want young puppies and not old dogs so the older she gets the worse her chances are. I just think I never felt ready to open myself again to something I will love with my whole heart… and knowing I will lose it again someday.’’ Macarena turns her gaze back to the dog that’s now getting comfortable in her lap and tries to find protection from the cold. 

‘’You know, _rubia…_ you are not fully living if you don’t allow yourself to love because you’re scared of losing it.’’ Zulema mumbles and Macarena finds the brunette’s gaze.

“Love and fear go hand in hand.” Zulema finishes, and she more than anyone else knows this is true. Loving is one of the bravest things someone is able to do, and Zulema always runs away from things that take her out of her sense of security and control. And she never felt more scared than she is right now, watching the blonde in front of her look at her with big eyes and a red nose from the cold. Before Macarena has the chance to say anything, Tim and the two other dogs join them to go back to the cages. 

Maca gets up from the floor, wipes her pants clean and nods her head as she watches Teddy going back to his place. ‘’Yeah, I know.’’ 

* * *

Quiet Christmas music is playing in the background while Macarena rolls out dough, thin enough to not break but thick enough to get the perfect sized cookies. She smiles at the result and looks over at Zulema who is leaning against the opposite wall and watches the blonde with a little smile playing on her lips. 

“Come here, I’ll show you how to bake the perfect cookies. You’ll love them.” Macarena says and motions with her finger for Zulema to join her on the counter. 

Zulema shakes her head, chuckling at how excited Macarena was at this time of the year and gets next to her, taking the cookie cutter in the shape of a star and presses it into the middle of the dough which earned her a squeal from the blonde next to her. 

“No! Not in the middle of the dough! We need to get as many cookies as possible out of this. If you start in the middle that won’t work! Look, let me show you.” Macarena grabs a different cookie cutter, shaped like a reindeer this time, and places it in the top right corner of the dough before pressing down and finally revealing a perfectly shaped deer in her hand. “ _Mira_!” 

Zulema snorts and raises a thumb and proceeds to copy what the blonde had just shown her, the star found its spot right beneath the reindeer. 

“Perfect!” Macarena grinned and wrapped her arms around Zulema’s waist, her head coming to rest on a soft shoulder. 

Even though they have shared quite a few domestic moments together at this point, the amount of affection Macarena has to offer didn’t match with her own ability to show that and it would still take her aback at times, as it does right now. So she tries something to distract the blonde who hadn’t noticed her eyes were closed until she feels a fingertip on the tip of her nose that suddenly starts tickling and makes her sneeze. White powder flies through the room and when green eyes meet her own, she bursts into soft laughter at the sight of Zulema holding up her pointer finger that was covered in flour. 

Before she knows it, it lands on her nose again, only this time Macarena wants revenge so she grabs a small handful of flour that was left on the counter before running her hand across Zulema’s face. 

The brunette turns her head away, sneezes and grabs the younger woman’s wrists to stop her from doing any more silly things. 

Macarena lifts her head to join their lips together before pulling out of Zulema’s trap and takes out a pot she fills with water and puts a bowl with chocolate pieces in it before turning on the stove. 

‘’Will you excuse me for another little while? I have to pick up your present.’’ Zulema eventually breaks the silence and Maca turns around with a frown.

‘’Now? It is not Christmas morning yet.’’ 

‘’I know, but I can’t do it tomorrow. I will be back in around an hour. I promise.’’ She gives the blonde a kiss on the cheek before leaving the apartment for the third time that day. 

* * *

While Zulema is gone, Macarena finishes up baking and decorating the cookies, grabs the little box she had hidden in her closet that contains the brunette’s gift and just as promised, around an hour later, she hears the door to her apartment open once more. 

‘’I’m back!’’ Sounds Zulema’s voice and shortly after the door falls shut, she hears another sound accompanying the sound of the older woman’s heavy combat boots on the floor. Little tapping noises that get louder as if they’re approaching her.

Macarena turns off the oven and let’s the cookies rest on the counter when she turns around and hears a little bark coming from beneath her. 

‘’What-’’ 

Incapable of forming a sentence, the blonde’s head shoots back up to find Zulema looking at her, one corner of her lip pulled up into a crooked smile as she shoves her hands into the pockets of her hoodie and shrugs her shoulders. 

Teddy jumps into Macarena’s arms when she kneels down to welcome the dog in its new home and she can’t help the tears from forming in her eyes. 

‘’I was originally planning on getting you a bib with ‘ _Princess’_ in big letters on it so you stop ruining your clothes but then we went to this shelter today and I just… had no other choice.’’ Zulema explains quietly, softer than she is used to and the blonde’s eyes flash up to her with the most genuine and grateful smile Zulema has ever seen someone give to her. 

‘’Thank you, Zulema. Really. I don’t know what to say.’’ 

‘’You don’t have to say anything. There is no need to thank me. I will leave the papers in the living room so you can read them tomorrow.’’ 

They spend the rest of the night eating Macarena’s homemade cookies, playing with Teddy, listening to the blonde’s Christmas playlist and watching The Grinch - which resolves in nothing but Macarena making comments about how much he and Zulema are alike. 

When the night comes to an end and the last song begins to play through the speakers, Zulema freezes and Macarena’s heart starts racing. 

She had never found the right moment to talk to Zulema about this, so it was now or never. 

The moment her voice starts sounding through the room, Zulema meets her gaze and Macarena knows that the brunette knows. 

The blonde gets up from the couch, grabs the little box from her nightstand and hands Zulema her present without a word. 

Zulema opens it and lays eyes on a beautiful keychain that is unique to say the least. A leather band attached to a ring to connect it with the key holds a silver scorpion that looks exactly like the one on the album cover. With the brunette’s name on it. 

‘’Merry Christmas.’’ Macarena mumbles quietly as Zulema’s thumb strokes over the metallic animal before green eyes find her own. 

‘’For how long have you known?’’ She asks. 

‘’Ever since I came home to you singing in the shower. I recognized your voice. And my final confirmation was the way you looked at me when I was dancing to this song.’’ Macarena replies calmly, trying to figure out what is going on in Zulema’s mind at that moment, but she can’t. Ever since this morning, the brunette had returned to being the mysterious stranger she had first met. 

* * *

After a night full of intertwined bodies, stolen kisses and multiple climaxes, Macarena starts waking up to the lightness invading her room once again. She stretches her arm on the bed, intending to hide her face from the brightness in Zulema's embrace and sleep some more when she feels the empty bed beside her. 

_Did Zulema wake up already?_

She opens up her eyes, and she realizes that the bed is not empty as she thought it was. But right now, looking at the letter that sat on top of the pillow next to her, she really wished it was.

‘’Zulema?’’ Macarena calls, but deep down she knows there won’t be an answer. The only sound other than her own breathing are Teddy’s little steps when she hears Macarena’s voice. 

With shaking hands, the blonde reaches over and unfolds the letter to find Zulema’s handwriting on it. The knot in her throat already prevents her from breathing before she even starts reading.

  
  


_Rubia,_

_I couldn’t leave without giving you an explanation. So here it is._

_Before you think this has got anything to do with you personally, it does not. But I was never looking for a relationship in the first place. And the time that we spent together the past three weeks was the closest to a relationship I ever had and I got overwhelmed. I am not the person you need me to be, especially not now that Armando is gone. He sent you a text message yesterday to meet him at the theater. I was in the kitchen making breakfast when he sent it and I couldn’t help myself. I promised I would get you out of this and I did. I got a friend of mine to delete the footage of you and Lidia drugging your clients to get their money, and with that any evidence he had against you and Lidia who he tried to put into jail with this footage. That is what he wanted you to meet him for. But it is over now, for good. My friend hacked into the camera system of the escort company and found footage of him that was deleted one day, but my contacts are good. It was hard but they managed. So I threatened him enough for him to leave you alone for good. He’ll end up in jail if he ever gets close to you again, I promise. And now that he is gone and you got Teddy, you won’t have to spend Christmas by yourself. You’re not alone anymore._

_Zulema_


	17. drawn to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the chapter all of you have been waiting for so desperately. the second to last chapter for now.   
> it is a little shorter than usual, but I hope you will still enjoy it as much as usual

‘’What the hell do you think you’re doing?!’’ Rizos asks after pulling Macarena away from a stranger she had been dancing with for a little too long and a little too intensely. 

‘’Dancing.’’ Macarena drily replies, already halfway back on the dancefloor when her friend yanks her back by her elbow and shoots her a death glare. 

‘’When did you turn into a cheater?’’ The brunette asks accusingly, her hands resting on either side of her hips.

‘’I am not a fucking cheater. I would  _ never.  _ Not after everything this son of a bitch put me through.’’ 

‘’And Zulema-’’

‘’Zulema is  _ gone,  _ Rizos!’’ Macarena yells and a few curious heads turn in their direction to see where the disturbing noise came from. 

‘’What do you mean she’s gone?’’ Her friend asks over the music, but before she can get an answer Macarena has already turned around and made her way out of the club.

* * *

That was the way Macarena’s life went ever since Zulema left her with this letter two months ago. 

Nights drowned in too expensive drinks and club music she has heard too many times, dancing with strangers, some of them she took home. 

But it never felt the way it did with Zulema.

After the time they had spent together and the things they had shared, Macarena had thought their thing would be something that could work. She was ready to open herself to someone new, hell she told Zulema about everything Armando did to her. 

And this woman dares to write a letter and leave?

She said she was overwhelmed, and unfamiliar with this thing that ‘was the closest to a relationship’ she ever had, but running away because you’re scared? 

Fucking coward. 

‘ _ Love and fear go hand in hand.’  _ Zulema had said. 

Where is she now that she is supposed to follow her own advice about allowing herself to love?

It is 2 am and those exact thoughts running through her head when she pukes for the first time.

* * *

  
  


While Macarena is still busy being angry at Zulema and wishing she would have talked to her instead of packing her things and run, Zulema is sitting in the apartment of her best friend who is trying to bring the brunette back to her senses.

‘’So let me get this straight.’’ Saray folds her hands and raises her brows at the raven-haired woman sitting in front of her and staring a hole into the bottom of her empty glass of water. ‘’You help this  _ chica  _ to hide from her boyfriend, she tells you everything about her life, you told her about  _ Fatima,  _ then you sleep with this woman, buy her a puppy, write a letter and leave!?’’

‘’Yup.’’ A partly drunk Zulema babbles as she sets her glass down onto the table with a loud noise. ‘’I got scared and I ran. She is better off without me. And safer.’’

Saray raises an eyebrow at that. ‘’Is her ex behind bars or dead?’’ 

Zulema thinks for a moment before shaking her head to the negative. ‘’Nop.’’

Her friend groans frustratedly and pinches the bridge of her nose. ‘’Have I told you nothing about love, ever?’’

‘’Well-’’

‘’Shut up. You just never want to listen. I can’t even believe you just disappeared for two months without saying anything. After everything we did together back in business days, god knows what could have happened to you. Then you decide to show up in front of my door, as drunk as I have ever seen you and tell me you left Macarena because you got scared.’’ Saray repeats the previous events more to herself than to Zulema who just purses her lips and looks at her friend with the most pitiful expression Saray has ever seen. 

She is sitting on that chair with the corners of her mouth bent down, eyes that have lost their fire, and a mind that constantly seemed to be elsewhere, as much as she tried to hide it. A drunk Zulema always lost control in front of Saray. This was no exception. 

‘’ _ Oye, Zule.’’  _ Saray mumbles and the woman in front of her raises her head to make eye contact, letting the other one know she is listening. ‘’I know you don’t want to hear it, but that  _ rubia  _ has made you happier than ever. Even if just subconsciously. But I know you better than anyone else and I could see it. And now, without her, you look your absolute worst, so I suggest you sober up and get your ass back to her tomorrow morning before I do it.’’ 

Zulema knows Saray is right. She always is.

* * *

So Zulema spends the next day wondering how she could possibly fix what she has messed up. Should she bring flowers? Another letter? She’s not like that. But just showing up at her door isn’t exactly the perfect solution either. 

After three hours of brooding and thinking, she finally comes up with something that could get Macarena’s attention for long enough to at least get her to listen to her for a while. 

Zulema gets into her car, calls Garcia, and finds herself on the way to the blonde’s apartment two hours later after everything is settled and the sunset is dipping the city into a bloody red.

Something bad is about to happen, and Zulema doesn’t know if that something applied to her or Armando. 

When she gets out of the vehicle and walks the last steps to Macarena’s front door, she hears two voices coming from the alley right around the corner. 

One of the voices definitely belongs to the blonde she is looking for, and the other one doesn’t take her long to identify either. 

It’s Armando. 

But the way Macarena is talking to him doesn’t seem to consist of the usual combination of fear and annoyance. She is giggling quietly as if she is trying to hide from the rest of the world in that exact alley. 

With slow steps, Zulema approaches the dark lane and the sight that meets her instantly makes her blood boil. 

There she is, Macarena pressed against a wall with Armando’s hands caressing her waist while the blonde buries her face in the crook of the man’s neck. 

That’s all she needed to see. 

Zulema spins on her heel and rushes back to her car to get back to her own place as soon as possible where she tries to burn the images from her mind with a hot shower. 

* * *

‘’But that doesn’t make any sense!’’ Saray’s voice sounds from the other side of the speaker. Since Zulema hadn’t texted her in two days, Saray had decided to call her friend and ask her if her plan had worked. 

Apparently, it didn’t.

‘’I know it doesn’t make sense Saray, but it is what it is. She was all over him. End of story. She got over it and went crawling back to him.’’

‘’You don’t know that, Zule. This doesn’t seem right.’’

‘’I know that too, but what am I supposed to do? Knock on her door and demand an explanation?’’

Saray laughs at the other end of the line at the thought of it. ‘’No, but I think you should talk to her. Otherwise, you will never get over her.’’

‘’There is nothing to get over, Saray.’’

‘’Stop making a fool of yourself. It doesn’t look good on you.’’

Zulema snickers then hangs up the phone. 

* * *

She makes her way to the blonde’s place again that same night. 

As soon as the sun has set, Zulema is ringing on Macarena’s door. But she doesn’t seem to be home, nobody opens the door and since the brunette had left the key she got at Macarena’s place when she left, she has no other choice than to sit and wait. 

After waiting in the cold for what feels like an eternity, she hears the same two voices getting closer from the alley as they approach Macarena’s apartment, but then the soft giggling turns into the familiar, frightened gasp that raises the red flags inside of Zulema. 

Without further hesitation, she gets up from the stairs and quickly makes her way to Macarena and her toxic lover. 

Before she crosses the corner, however, she stops to listen to what all of this is about.

‘’What the hell was that? And since when do you refuse to take shots with me?’’ She hears Armando ask through gritted teeth.

‘’I just didn’t feel like drinking and we were just dancing. What’s suddenly gotten into you?’’ Macarena asks back. 

‘’You seemed insanely familiar if you asked me. Almost as if he once fucked you in that bathroom stall.’’

The next thing Zulema hears is the sound of a hand meeting skin. But it is not Macarena who groans in pain. 

Armando growls, and that’s her cue.

Just when he raises his hand to hit the blonde right back, a loud noise echoes through the alley and a sharp pain makes him yelp. 

‘’Touch her again and the next one will go right through your brain,’’ Zulema exclaims as she steps out of the dark into the light after Macarena’s head spins around to make out the voice’s origin. 

Armando doesn’t say a word. He only fixes his posture and shoots the brunette a glare. 

Macarena is just as quiet, her mind hazy from the gunshot and her ever so abusive ex-boyfriend. 

‘’You won’t.’’ Armando breaks the silence. ‘’You and I both know that it would only get you into trouble. What are you gonna do with the body? Burn it? People around here are probably already suspicious, gunshots aren’t very familiar in this area, you know.’’ 

Zulema slowly approaches the male in front of her, making her blood boil, and puts on her sweetest sarcastic smile after giving Macarena a silent sign with her eyes to make her distract him for a moment before turning her attention back to Armando.

‘’I have been in the business long enough to know what I’m doing, don’t tempt me.’’ She growls as her face gets closer and closer to Armando’s when Macarena does her part to distract the man by grabbing his face and turning it towards her own.

‘’Don’t listen to her. Come, let’s go.’’ She mumbles, and Zulema takes the opportunity to slip the little sim-card she had been carrying around with her right into the pocket of his jeans before pushing him back against the wall to divert his attention elsewhere immediately. 

‘’Shut the fuck up, Macarena!’’ He hisses and pushes the blonde aside who trips backward and makes something inside of Zulema’s head snap and shoot the man’s leg, making him fall to the floor and groan in pain. 

‘’ _ Hija de puta!’’  _ He howls and frantically holds his leg- 

‘’I suggest you keep your hands off of her from now on or I will personally kill you in your sleep.’’ Zulema spits before turning around and walking away. 

‘’Wait!’’ Macarena calls and follows the brunette with angry steps. ‘’Don’t you fucking run away again!’’

Zulema doesn’t reply. She makes her way to the front of the blonde’s apartment and Macarena understands that she doesn’t want to talk about things on the street in the middle of the night. 

Without a word, Macarena walks past the brunette and opens the doors for both of them to get inside while Zulema sends a text to Garcia that would hopefully be the solution to all their problems. Once the door is closed and they find themselves in the living room, Macarena grabs her phone and dials 911. 

Zulema however is faster and snatches the blonde’s phone out of her hand who opens her mouth to protest, but the brunette’s pointer finger comes up faster than Macarena’s words can leave her lips. ‘’I took care of it.’’

That one raises both brows and arms. ‘’What the fuck was all of that about?’’ 

‘’ _ You’re _ asking  _ me?’’  _ Zulema cocks her eyebrows.

‘’ _ Perdon?’’  _ Macarena gives her a confused look.

‘’I just saved you for the millionth time from this stupid man and you have the audacity to be offended after getting  _ back  _ with him?!’’ 

‘’Listen, Zulema. I know how all of this must seem to you. But trust me when I say that I can explain everything.’’ Macarena runs her hands through her curls and sits down onto the couch, hoping Zulema would do the same and stop staring at her so reproachfully.

And she does. The brunette takes a seat next to her and waits for the very much needed clarification of it all. 

‘’After you left, I didn’t know what to do.’’ Macarena starts and Zulema has to fight the urge to interrupt her with a ‘ _ So you decide to run right back to him’. _

‘’He found out you’re gone eventually. So he decided to come back and I just knew that if I didn’t obey, he’d do god knows what to take me back with him. So I decided to pretend to get back with him if he’d let me stay here for the next two months so I can finish up my play.’’

‘’You know that I know about the videos, Macarena. Don’t lie to me, he threatened you didn’t he?’’ 

Macarena swallows thickly. ‘’How do you know?’’ 

‘’Contacts. I will tell you everything soon, once everything is done. Not now.’’ 

The blonde nods understandingly and sighs before asking Zulema the question that has been on her mind ever since she saw her again. ‘’Why did you come back?’’ 

Zulema presses her lips together when Saray’s words come to her mind again. 

_ That rubia has made you happier than ever.  _

‘’Because I wanted to talk to you.’’ She eventually manages. 

‘’I don’t have anything to tell you, Zulema.’’ Macarena bitterly replies. 

‘’Listen, I didn’t know what to do, okay? I told you that I am not who you need me to be and everything that we shared was just too… intimate.’’ Zulema is struggling to find the right words, she has never been good with them. But with Macarena, she felt less alone than ever. And the imagination of losing her forever made her insides turn. 

The blonde frowns when her eyes find Zulema’s and she slowly shakes her head. ‘’I know it was. It was scary for me too, you know? But you need to learn to talk and communicate. You can’t just run away whenever you get scared. This hurt me as well.’’ 

‘’I know… I know.’’ Zulema sighs, searching for more things she could say to explain what is going through her head right now, but she can’t. Fortunately, Macarena asks. 

‘’So, you came back for what? Do you want to start over, stay with me? What is it?’’ 

‘’I just… don’t think I can be who I was before I met you.’’ Zulema finally confesses.

Macarena buries her face in her hands for a moment, everything is too much to process all at once. 

‘’I am not the same I was before you left, Zulema… if you really want me back, I have to tell you something.’’ She mumbles into her hands before straightening her posture and inhaling deeply as the brunette stays silent and awaits her confession. 

Seconds turn into a minute and just when Zulema thinks that Macarena won’t tell her anything, she finally speaks. And the confession she gives, makes Zulema go pale.

‘’I’m pregnant.’’ 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the last chapter is expecting you on the 31st.


	18. do you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so here we are, the last chapter of the first part of the story is here.  
> thank you to everyone who managed to keep up with it, every person that took their time to read what I puzzled together in my free time. the sequel is already in the making, but I won't upload for a while and take an at least two month break.  
> thanks for all the love and feedback on this, I can't wait to continue this ride with you guys!  
> and a special thanks to anna aka sapphiczule for collaborating on this chapter with me once more <3 te quiero

‘’You’ve got to be kidding me.’’ 

‘’This wasn’t planned, okay? Do you think I  _ wanted  _ this?’’

‘’Well, from what I know the idea of having a baby isn’t exactly repulsive to you!’’

Macarena’s eyes suddenly become ten times colder than before, that sentence hit a weak spot. ‘’Careful, Zulema. Don’t use this against me, you know exactly what you’re doing.’’ 

Zulema briefly looks down, knowing she went a little too far with that. When her eyes come back up to meet hazel ones, she manages to talk with a calmer voice.

‘’I just don’t understand, Macarena. It’s only been two months, how the hell did this happen? Is Armando the father?’’ 

‘’No! God, no. Do you really think I would let him lay hands on me again? I already told you I had to pretend with him for a while.’’

‘’Well, I don’t know what exactly to understand by that.’’ Zulema sits down on the couch and runs her hands over her black hair, clearly overwhelmed by the amount of information her brain has had to process in the last hour. 

‘’I didn’t even let him kiss me. I told him that the public still thinks I am with you and that he has to be patient with me until we are back in Malaga. I went out to some clubs after you left and hooked up with strangers in the bathrooms. Armando was in the same club one night and so he found out you’re not there anymore.’’ Macarena tries to explain when her hands cover her stomach. 

Of course, she had always wanted a baby and would have done anything to live the perfect life she had always dreamed of, but fucking strangers in a nightclub and ending up pregnant surely hadn’t been the thing she has had in mind. 

Zulema nods understandingly. ‘’So, now what? Are you going to keep it?’’

Macarena sighs, the grip on her skin becoming tighter. ‘’Yes, I think so. I am only four weeks in, but I don’t know if this is my last chance. I am getting older, and well, if we had ended up together we wouldn’t exactly have been able to have a baby the way a man and a woman do.’’

‘’So… you don’t want me to stay?’’ Zulema asks hesitatingly.

‘’I never said that. But can you imagine raising a baby with me?’’ Macarena’s voice gets quiet at that question. 

‘’I honestly don’t know Macarena. I was a good mother back then… but I am a criminal for god’s sake. Can you imagine raising a child with someone like me?’’ 

The blonde woman runs her hands over her face, exhaling deeply. ‘’I don’t know. If only you hadn’t run away, we wouldn’t be here right now.’’

This finally does it for Zulema, who furrows her brows as the blonde’s words hit her with a bitter taste.

‘’Oh, so now you’re blaming me for being knocked up?’’

‘’I didn’t say that. I said I wouldn’t have hooked up with people in a club if you had stayed!’’

‘’That was your own decision. Don’t fucking try to put this on me now!’’ Zulema’s voice raises with anger. 

‘’No? I can’t put this on you? The fact that I finally allowed myself to open up to someone after everything that has happened in the past years. I finally allowed myself to love someone again!’’ Macarena yells as tears begin to flood her eyes when she sees Zulema’s eyes widen at the confession. Of course, she knew the feeling was there in between them, but they never actually got to say it out loud, only gotten close enough so Zulema could feel terrified of hearing it.

‘’It wasn’t easy for me either, you know. Didn’t you see that I did just the same?’’ Zulema hisses right back, now it was Macarena’s turn to give her a dumbfounded look. But that quickly turns into the most hurt expression she has ever seen in her entire life. 

‘’Then why did you break my heart and ran?’’ The blonde’s cracking voice asks.

Zulema sighs and stops talking for a moment. The sound of Macarena on the verge of tears was too heavy of a toll on her, and she had to fight the urge to just say ‘fuck it’ and hug her in a heartbeat. But she knows they have to work through this first. She takes a deep breath, grounding herself in the conversation once again.

‘’I never meant to. And it surely doesn’t change the way I feel about you.’’ 

‘’Then say it.’’ 

Zulema swallows. Macarena is daring her to say the one thing she has never said to anyone and truly meant it. Those three words that change everything forever. The words that will create an invisible string between them and keep them attached to each other for the rest of their lives. 

She looks down, fighting an inner battle that seems like a losing game. She needs time for this, but she knows that in order to trust her again, Macarena needs to hear those words to know this is worth fighting for. 

The fact that Zulema isn’t moving nor talking tells Macarena everything she needs to know. With a bitter laugh, she turns around and wipes a tear from her cheek. She is just about to walk towards her front door when she feels a strong hand grip her arm and Zulema pulls her back flush against her front. When their bodies finally touch again after so long apart, they could both swear they felt the electricity running through their skin. Zulema’s grip on her arm is steady and her body is hot, and Macarena finally feels like she’s home again. 

Her blonde curls are slowly wiped to the side, exposing her neck to Zulema whose lips come close to her ear and whisper the one thing she wanted to hear for so long and revive the butterflies in her stomach she had felt since the moment they first met. 

_ ‘’Te quiero, rubia.’’  _

* * *

After sharing a week of clinging onto each other for dear life, love confessions, and moaning each other’s names, Zulema takes Macarena to a carnival outside of Madrid the following day. Zulema is not a carnival type of person, but she figured out most importantly that she is the kind of person who will do anything for the people she loves. And when Macarena asked her with glowy eyes if they could go together, there wasn’t even a doubt about the answer. 

Shiny lights and tents welcomed the couple, and Macarena looked like she was instantly connected to her inner child. The young Macarena, long forgotten in the past, but who lived in it surrounded by happy memories. The part of herself untouched by all the pain. A warm feeling spreads through the blonde’s chest as she walks around observing the place, and Zulema’s reassuring squeeze on her hand makes her feel like this is the moment where she could finally be at peace and just enjoy happiness.

Zulema realized she was way more into this than she thought she would be. The first game she played was only because Macarena needed a pair for it being a 2-person game, and at the end of the round, she couldn’t stop smiling from how much fun she was actually having. They played more games together - some of them in which they had to compete against each other, and teasing the blonde who was crazy competitive to the point her cheeks would turn red was definitely so much fun, Zulema thought. She doesn’t remember having this much careless fun since… well, ever. Like hasn’t been easy on her as a child either.

But there’s always a first for everything.

“ _ Cari _ , look!” Macarena says excitingly, pointing at a big plush tiger in one of the tents as a prize for people who can win the game. She sighs afterwards. “I wish I had a chance at that one.”

Zulema looks at the blonde with a confused expression. “Wait, why wouldn’t you have a chance at it?”

  
“ _ Estas de broma, no?  _ It’s the ladder climb one. That game is literally almost impossible to accomplish. The ladder converges to be supported on the wall by only one point instead of two like a regular ladder, so the entire surface of support which seems to be the body of it actually gets reduced to a tightrope. Have you ever tried to equilibrate your center of mass in a tightrope? It’s not impossible, it’s just ridiculously hard. Also, this is literally the most lucrative game on every carnival because people look at it and overestimate their chances of winning. The trick is in looking easy enough to attract people and also not to raise suspicion.”

Zulema looks at Macarena the entire time while she gives her speech with a side smirk on her face, to which the blonde finally notices after finishing her explanation.

“ _ Qué? _ ”

“You’re cute when you talk big words.” 

Macarena rolls her eyes, chuckling at the statement while at the same time getting flustered about it. That’s the effect Zulema’s gaze still had on her.

“Also, I didn’t take you for a physics girl. Aren’t you a box filled with surprises?’

“I’m not, actually,” Macarena says, her smile getting more tender at that moment. “But my father was. He was an engineer, and he loved science. He was basically my science teacher growing up, and he always had this way of making things so much fun… He would build projects with me, and teach me the science behind them. He actually built me a giant nerf gun on my 10th birthday and gave me a whole class about aerodynamics. I loved it. My mom absolutely hated it.” 

Macarena laughed at the memory, while Zulema followed her along, holding her hand just a little tighter as if saying _ I’m here _ .

“We used to go to carnivals all the time in Málaga. Me, my dad, and my mom that is. And he would teach me the science behind every game and what I had to do to win them. He was the one who taught me about the ladder climb one after he let me try it for what seemed like a miserable eternity for me.” She laughs.

Macarena brings her hand to her stomach instinctively. Soon enough, she was going to be the mom bringing her kid to a carnival. She thinks about how memories keep a person alive and teaching things that her dad taught her to her kid will be one of the ways her child will connect to her parents.

“He sounds like a good father,” Zulema said in a gentle tone.

“He was. He is.” 

“But he forgot to count one variable in this ‘near impossible to win’ formula.”

Macarena looks at Zulema with a confused expression, trying to understand what she means. 

  
“And which variable is that?”

“That I can beat the shit out of anything I want to, even a wonky ladder. I’m not in the statistics you know, I’m the Z variable.”

Macarena laughs wholeheartedly at that, pushing Zulema’s shoulder who theatrically feigned pain at it.

“I’m serious! Let’s go there and I guarantee you that you will leave this carnival with that plushie.”

“Oh, I  _ so _ wanna get the front row seat of that.” 

They both made their way to the tent where the game was located, and Macarena was having way too much fun watching Zulema falling repeatedly and proving her right. Every time the brunette would fall at least 6 curse words would leave her mouth, and she was sure all the moms nearby with their children were hating them feverously. She couldn’t care less.

“Oye, just drop it already Zule. I’m hungry.” 

Zulema picks herself up from the cushion, looking at Macarena. 

“Vale, grab us a table and I’ll meet you in a second.”

Macarena did as told, finding them a table and buying her and Zulema two hot dogs and lemonade they could share. Not too long after that, the brunette appears with a smug grin on her face and a tiger plushie below her arm. 

“How did y-” Macarena interrupts herself. Zulema’s smile is the answer. “You threatened the guy at the tent into selling it to you didn’t you?”

“I told you you’d leave this carnival with this tiger. I keep my promises.” Zulema says, wiggling her eyebrows which make Macarena shake her head in a disapproving way, but with a hint of a smile underneath. 

  
“You’re impossible.” 

* * *

With a big plush tiger tucked underneath her arm and cotton candy on the other hand, Macarena makes her way out of the carnival and into the parking lot next to her now official girlfriend and watches Zulema eat her own pink cotton candy whose sugar begins to stick on the corners of her mouth. 

The brunette eventually notices Macarena’s staring and turns her head to the side questioningly. ‘’What?’’

The blonde giggles and leans over to lick the corner of Zulema’s mouth with the tip of her tongue. ‘’You’ve got candy all over you.’’

Zulema has to fight herself from letting the smirk spread across her lips and rolls her eyes instead. ‘’You’re embarrassing.’’ 

‘’I love you too.’’ Maca mumbles into her next bite of the pink sugar with the dorkiest grin on her face that makes her dimples increase just as much. 

Once inside of the car, Zulema drives in a direction Macarena isn’t exactly familiar with.

‘’Where are you going? Madrid is the other way.’’ The blonde asks curiously while the sun spreads its last rays for the day and dips the city into a beautiful painting of purple and orange. 

‘’You’ll see.’’ Zulema simply replies, her eyes locked on the street in front of them. Macarena rolls her eyes and looks outside of the window, knowing it is useless to dig further. If Zulema doesn’t want to say something, she doesn’t _ y ya está _ . She was actually used to it at this point.

A thirty-minute car ride later the sun has set completely, Zulema stops the car and Macarena gets out of the car, dunes, and sand in front of her and to their left, wooden stairs that lead behind those dunes. 

‘’A beach?’’ She asks while closing the door behind her and shoving her hands into the pockets of her coat that’s wrapped tightly around her slim body to protect her from the still cold March night. 

Zulema nods her head and gives the blonde a crooked smile. ‘’Come with me.’’ She holds out her hand for Macarena to take it and leads the way to the stairs. 

Once on the other side of the dunes, Macarena’s eyes sparkle at the sight she is met with. The ocean is glistening underneath the moonlight, not a single person in sight and when she closes her eyes, she can hear the waves crashing against the rocks and feel Zulema’s presence right there with her.

Macarena opens her eyes again, looks at the brunette with a gentle smile playing around her lips before they make their way down the stairs and into the sand to take a walk at the ocean.

‘’I could have taken you to any carnival close to Madrid. But I chose this one because I need to talk and explain everything to you far away from any risks, so here we are. Please just listen and let me do the talking for once.’’ Zulema asks for and squeezes the blonde’s hand before letting it go and shoving her hands into the pockets of her cargo pants. 

She needs a clear mind for what is about to come, and with Macarena’s soft thumb stroking over her skin she can do anything but. 

‘’I knew I would have to get rid of Armando one way or another. He would have never left you alone and just waited for the right time to either hit you again so you’d follow him or anything else in his power to get you back. So I was thinking and remembered what you told me about the escort service. I talked to one of my old contacts who still owed me a favor, they hacked into the system and after a few hours of going through what were supposed to be deleted files, they were able to put some content together. It showed him, bringing drunk escorts into a room and taking advantage of their condition. Of course, the security of the service was involved, so my contact put everything back together and put it on a sim card. When I gave you that sign to distract him, thank you for that, I shoved it into his pants, then shot his leg so he wouldn’t be able to move. And once we went around the corner I texted my contact so they would send an anonymous hint to the police about where he is and the sim card in his pocket.’’ Zulema finishes and looks at Macarena who is staring ahead of herself, taking in the information her girlfriend just put into her head. 

‘’He is going to jail, Maca. Both him and whoever helped him back then.’’ 

Macarena nods and wraps her coat closer around herself, the memories that are coming back to her make the night a little more chilly than before.

‘’So that’s how you know about the footage of Lidia and me.’’ She connects the dots and sighs. ‘’Sorry you had to see that, but I was a different person back then. I needed the extra money to survive. Armando was the one who got me out of there.’’ 

‘’I know. I’m not judging you at all. But I also took care of that. This footage no longer exists,  _ rubia. _ ’’ Zulema’s voice gets a little warmer at that and she flashes the blonde next to her a soft smile before her face gets back to serious when her left hand fumbles with the silver jewelry piece in her pocket. 

‘’And you’re sure you want to be with someone like this and raise a baby with them?’’ Macarena asks worriedly as she stops walking and crosses her arms in front of her chest. The carnival fantasy was over, and reality came crashing again onto her. She couldn’t live in the past Macarena, she knows it. Pain made her get here. There’s no erasing that.

Zulema steps right in front of her and nods her head. ‘’Yes. Actually, this is another thing I wanted to talk to you about.’’ 

  
The blonde in front of her tilts her head to the side questioningly, brows furrowed and absolutely clueless about what Zulema is up to. It was pretty unusual for the brunette to  _ talk  _ about something voluntarily. 

And the thing she does say is something Macarena never expected to hear in a million years.

‘’I am not good with words when it comes to expressing how I feel, please know that in advance. I think you noticed that.’’ Zulema starts, nervously fumbling with the metal in her hand. ‘’And I won’t make this long or cheesy or anything, but when you were in Italy for a week, I missed you. I am so sorry I ran away afterwards but… I got scared. I don’t usually do feelings or dates, all of this was supposed to be a one-time tinder thing so Saray would finally shut up but here I am, loving a woman that is the exact opposite of the people I am usually around.’’ She takes a deep breath, it is now or never and pulls out the jewelry she has been carrying around all day. 

‘’The four weeks I spent with you were the closest to a relationship I ever had, and I know you want more than what we had, you want the perfect relationship with a baby and a married life and I never thought that I could ever even think about this, but I don’t ever plan on running away again,  _ rubia.  _ So…’’ Zulema takes Macarena’s hand into her own, brushes her thumb over the palm before opening her fist and revealing a beautiful, silver ring with a small diamond shining on top of it.

‘’Spend the rest of your life with me.’’ 

She had expected happy squeals, arms wrapping around her tightly and the blonde’s little body wrapping around her tightly, but Macarena’s eyes are full of pain and fear when they find her own as Zulema awaits her answer.

But it never came. 


End file.
